Zen67 Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Zen67, Aug 15, 2013.

  1. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Up until about 5 years ago (at age 40) all was well. Then one day I had a prostate infection and that is when I started my battle with ED. The doctor said after I go through the month supply of antibiotics I would be back to normal. It never happened so he put me on Viagra. I got to a point where dating seemed not possible given my ED. Then a few years later I decided to start dating again but taking Viagra ahead of time has its challenges. During a checkup my doctor suggested taking Cialis 5mg daily dose. That took the anxiety away from having to take Viagra ahead of time. Just prior to and up to now I was using P when I was alone, dating or not. Within the last 2 weeks I have been reading about P induced ED and it is starting to make sense given I can achieve a partial erection without drugs. Looking back I am starting to better understand the lack of excitement with sex and other things that should excite me. This is because of the P. It excites you to a point that nothing else can compete. I tried to M alone without porn and as you can guess, it did not go well as all. So I was reading more about P induced ED and about testing if it is P or not. So the next day I tried again with P and after some effort and a little extra time I was able to achieve an OK erection without drugs. So with that said porn is out. The real challenge is no M. At this point I can only go 2-3 days before I feel I need the release.

    First attempt
    Well I only made about 4-1/2 days without MO. A record for me. I am going to have to take a different approach then cold turkey. The good news was 4-1/2 days without MO (and without Cialis) I was able to achieve a descent an erection without P and without Cialis. The last 24 hours I was extremely horny or at least that is how I felt. I am on my next try (started 08/12) of 6-8 days without MO. I also decided that when I need to MO I will use my fleshlight only and not my hand. I have already received feedback that the fleshlight is a bad idea. Just trying to eliminate the death grip from the equation. Has any one tried a multi-step process until you got to 30 days without MO? 30 days is my goal.

    Second attempt started 08/12
    It did not take long before I was aroused as I always am. I had to take a cold shower to get 08/14 night to get to sleep. On 08/15, I am extremely aroused and have had a partial erection (30%) all day. I have no idea if I would or would not achieve a full erection.
  2. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Welcome aboard, Zen. We understand.
  3. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Thanks bright_eyes. I hope you can understand I just reset my MO counter on the 15th. Not sure why it displays the 16th.

    I am really confused at this point. My first attempt lasted 4 days and I achieved an OK erection twice. Tonight I decided not to use my fleshlight but light contact with my hand. I was able to get a 90-100% erection after 5+ years of dealing with ED. I have only stopped the P a week ago. I have over the last 5 years tested myself without any ED drugs and always confirmed I still had ED. Now it is like I don't. Well at least alone. Maybe knowledge (from YBR and YBOP) is power.

    The only recent changes are I stopped taking Bystolic for my high blood pressure. It is around 150/100 right now. I also started taking L-theanine. It is suppose to help with blood pressure naturally.

    I am not convince I am 100% cured but I seem headed in the right direction. I will not give up until I cannot MO for 30 days. It is a challenge. I think I may have Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS). Even the link below suggests MO no more than once a month.


    This journey will take time.

    Staring try number 3 at no MO.
  4. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    You are doing very well on not looking at porn. That is a big accomplishment.

    It might be too early to warn you of this, but there is going to come a day (the sooner the better) when you throw your fleshlight in the trash. That will be a good day, one of Resolution and Independence.
  5. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    Welcome Zen !

    Sounds like its time for a reboot revolution in your life! I know for me, once I quite M and P, my hormones began to fire on all cylinders, particularly with a regular, strong regimen at the gym. The gym bumps the testosterone. Weight loss also helps big time with ED and malfunctioning libido, not to mention with high blood pressure. When I lost the pounds and added regular cardio (basketball for me), my BP dropped into the optimal range immediately. If we want the results of being healthy, then we need to live a healthy life. No more crap !! Porn is the junkfood of the sexual mind.
  6. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Thanks for all the advice and support.

    I know I have to make the hard changes. Ending P was an easy choice. In my mind I have chosen to go long periods without M, but my body is fighting back. Some how I need to accomplish 30 days without MO.

    At age 45, I am dealing with various health issues, ED, high blood pressure, high LDL and occasional irregular heart beat. Again more hard choices to make.

    Thanks again!
  7. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Woke up this morning and one thing lead to another and now I have to reset my MO counter. I know I will benefit from a good 30 days without MO but I seem to be more horny then normal. The good news I am still off porn.
  8. Giles

    Giles Member

    You're doing well. Stay strong and you will get through this...
  9. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Wednesday morning.....gone just 2 days without MO. Normally would have last night or this morning. Woke up horny. Hope to make it beyond the 4 day mark this time around. A flatline sounds like a nice break from this urge.
  10. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    Glad to hear you are back in the saddle, Zen67! I am cheering for you.
  11. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Thanks for the support Apuleius. It truly helps to get support from others here. Ending a 30+ year daily habit is not easy. I am on my second attempt to 4 days. Maybe this time I make it to six days or even more. A week would be an accomplishment. I have not more then 2 days since I was 17 and in the USAF boot camp. That was 28 years a go.

    Sometimes I think women should our journals to better understand us men.

    Best off luck in your as your work on your personal challenges and goals.
  12. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Closing in on another 4 days without MO. It it's not easy and not a comfortable feeling. I do want to MO but will push through it. I wonder how long it will stay this intense.
  13. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    The "no-MO" path is doable. I wish I could go back to my college years and do them without MO and just see where my big mojo boost may have gotten me with the ladies. Now that I am married, no-MO is not difficult. My wife rarely makes me go without sex more than a week. 10 days has been the longest, I believe. I am an adult. I think I can handle 10 days without jerking off. 8)

    Have you discovered the gym ? Strenuous lifting will cause a massive boost to your testosterone and related hormones. Along with no-Mo and no-P, this will bring your mojo level to untold highs. Sometimes I feel like a god after a good workout!
  14. Omega Man

    Omega Man Everything counts.

    Belated welcome, and congrats on 15 days! The first few weeks are the toughest.

    Continue to post regularly on your journal, and add a link to your journal in your forum sig so others can find it easily.

    You can do this!
  15. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Made it to 6 days, a new record, before I MO'd. I even considered some P but didn't. Not much more to say on that. Zen67
  16. Giles

    Giles Member

    It's just a slip, and it's good that you didn't give in to the temptation to look at P. Beware the chaser effect and get straight back on track. All the best Zen...
  17. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Giles, I did not know the term "chaser effect" and should have researched it after reading your post. Still learning the lingo here. Unfortunately, I experienced it first. After no MO for 6 days and 3 days of MO I understand better now and from previous experiences. The feeling is still here as I am writing this. Now I will fight the urge and see if I can go another week or longer. Thanks!
  18. Giles

    Giles Member

    It does take a while to learn the lingo, doesn't it. I'm still baffled by certain terminology and abreviations. Sorry for not being more thorough...

    See this as a learning experience and move on. Recommit to the process and don't get too hung up on your slip... I look forward to seeing how you fare... Stay strong.
  19. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    I was good all day, but the urge/chaser effect is back. I plan to push through it. Hope doing the yard work is distracting enough to get through it. That and the cold shower afterwards.

    Taking it one day at a time.
  20. Zen67

    Zen67 Member

    Made it through the night without MO. I was rewarded with MW. Go figure!

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