HIP, you said " they can't handle the gay thing. The interesting thing is that they want a relationship with me, just on their terms, which would mean my agreeing to be a second class citizen when I'm around them. " So perfectly said! That is exactly how I feel around my parents, and I wouldn't be around them at ALL unless they needed help in "end of life" stuff. I don't even feel obligated to do that, but it's my nature. Zeddd, you got two buds really happy for you and your family. I had a partner to die, and my parents have never uttered his name, and when I do, the room goes quiet. I want to say this, church has fucked up my life, and that's no exaggeration, but now I take responsibility with no excuses.