Thanks everyone for the kind words. The past few days have been really rough and I am wondering if this is doing more harm than good. (Or is that just the addiction that wants me to give up trying). I feel total despair, lime I am completely wasting my time even bothering with this. Most guys here are taking this journey so they can enjoy real intimacy with a close female partner. I don't think that is going to be a possibility for me. My ex-fiancé told me I should not even consider a relationship as I will just destroy someone else's life. What I don't understand though is why I continue to be punished by being branded a child molester or rapist by having to be on a sex offender register. It's as though they don't want me to be able to have a legitimate adult partner and want me to be a recluse fapping to porn. Whe I started this journey I was excited as I felt I was doing something towards getting my life back on track and making positive changes. But if there is no incentive to make these changes it all falls kind of flat. I just can't imagine any woman wanting to be with me - a registered sex offender charged with possession of child exploitation material. I've found it hard enough to find work, let alone a partner. I have no self esteem left and I'm so scared of rejection or embarrassment that I don't think I would have the courage to date anyone. Would it be wrong to date someone knowing that at some point you are going to have to say "Hey, by the way, I'm a sex offender". Guaranteed to stop a relationship in its tracks. If my fiancé wouldn't stay with me I can't see anyone else staying. I think that is where the offender register is flawed as it prevents guys like me who have been punished from getting on with their lives and making a fresh start. It's like telling someone to keep running the race even though you've just cut their legs off - yes it's that cruel. I know I can't change the past, but I struggle to see how I can have the future I dreamed of. A wife, kids, family, intimacy, a good job - all gone. That's why I get so sad and I'm not sure being here on this journey will help me. FYI Astro, stories and diary entries are considered 'child exploitation material' is it is sexual in nature and includes someone under the age of 16 or under the age of 18 if you are more than 2 or 3 years older than them. So a fantasy written by a 20yo about a 17yo will get you convicted. (Someone was even convicted over an erotic Simpsons cartoon). Evidence against me included a journal entry and a video that is available on YouTube. My message to guys out there is don't go anywhere near anything that could be construed as 'child exploitation material'. It doesn't have to be anywhere near graphic, violent child porn for them to get a conviction, and it doesnt have to be images or video. I was advised to plead guilty for a lesser sentence but my life has been ruined regardless.