Your Experiences With Ayahuasca?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Suture Up Your Future, Dec 28, 2018.

  1. I'm seriously considering doing an ayahuasca ceremony. I'm at my wits' end here. I've been a porn addict since I was at least 19, I'm 45 now and I don't see how I'm going to change this.

    I did a search for 'ayahuasca' here but didn't see anything in the first several results that came up that gave me a clear idea of how well it works for folks. Can anyone with experience of it tell me how it has or hasn't helped you with your porn addiction and the issues related to it (i.e. self-esteem, fetishes, masochism, etc.)? I know the old line, it's not a magic pill, just something that can make change possible. I'm curious what it's done for other people though. Thanks.
  2. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    I have definitely met people who told me psychedelics helped them. They can be useful for breaking out of rigid worldviews and getting practical insight. And supposedly there is scientific research showing they work, but it's in the early stages.

    I don't know about ayahuasca in particular, except that it might cause extreme vomiting.

    I would really like to try something like that... psychedelics have a low potential for addiction and abuse.
    Big Lebowski likes this.
  3. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Interesting, I actually saw a video about ayahuasca the other day - 2 days ago - about someone with a pot addiction. The consumption of ayahuasca helped him tremendously with reviewing this terrible habit. I actually used the chemical in a recreational setting; as a way to to face your inner demons - I am familiar with psychedelics. My view is that when taking psychs while you our your peers - others consuming psychs - have problems, not spoken of, these problems will erupt and have a very negative impact on your mental well being during the trip. However, prior to a ceremony you should calmly and openly explain your situation and you will have a guide to take you through the experience.

    Psychs have helped me to reflect on subsurfaced feelings that I had tucked away nice and gently about some of my problems. With the right mindset psychs will emerge these problems but also find a a solution during the trip. Make sure to go to a licensed healing or journey centre. Some people free wheel the trip and that could end you up in a worse situation. The costs are about 150/200 for each ceremony, that might take a few days. I've heard taking 2 or 3 ceremonies can set you free of addiction.

    The ayahuasca clip
  4. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I have no experience of using psychedelics at all, but this sounds quite dangerous and obviously a desperate thing to consider. Notwithstanding the risks to your health, the evidence that it may actually help your situation is shaky at best. You don't need to resort to such measures to overcome your addiction. My advice is consult other peoples journals on here, and learn from them. Also. having face to face accountability in the form of 12 step meetings has been one of the best things that I have done for my recovery. I have met many guys your age who have overcome long standing porn addiction by getting involved in these meetings.
  5. $200 for a retreat? Where'd you see that? The one I'm considering taking in March is $400.

    I've been microdosing a few research chemicals the last few weeks. Well, I've been taking more than a microdose but nowhere near enough to have a full-on trip. I'm not just doing them to see about helping with porn addiction but also because I read on Third Wave (site about psychedelics run by psychiatrists who believe they can be used to help emotional problems and addiction) that it can help with depression, anxiety, etc. They said there's a complex of regions in the brain called the Default Mode Network, which is responsible for daydreaming, ruminating, thinking about the past and future. They say an overactive DMN is implicated in depression. Well, that sounds right up my alley because I am a world-class daydreamer/ruminator and always have been. They said that microdosing 1p-LSD or 4-ACO-DMT (analogue to mushrooms) a few times a week over the course of several months will dampen the DMN to a normal level. So I bought a couple (these chemicals exist in a legal grey area, i.e. if customs opens a package containing them, they'll confiscate it but they won't arrest you), and here's what I found:

    1p-LSD: lasts about ten hours. Puts you in a good mood, makes you more apt to laugh at things. Also, for a few days after you take it, you're calm, in a good mood and considerate to others. BUT while I'm in on it, I get really horny and wind up edging to porn for eight hours. Not good.

    4-HO-MeT: Lasts about eight hours. Puts you in a good mood, puts you in the mood to laugh and have fun. The first time I took it, I tried looking at porn but was dismayed to find porn was a total turn-off. I sat there with my dick in my hand for four hours but couldn't even be bothered to edge. I just scrolled through porn like an addict but found myself getting more and more turned off. It also showed me a few things about my behaviors that I hadn't realized, how masochism motivates so much of my behavior (hence all my posts on the subject in these forums a week or two ago), not just my fetishes but my tendency to stay up late, show up late to everything, bad eating habits, etc. It made masochism a major turn-off to me. It left a bad taste in my mouth for 3-4 days afterwards but after that point, I was grateful for what it did. I had zero interest in PMO all week after. I did it again last night and once again found myself completely uninterested in PMO. Watched Japanese prank shows on Youtube instead. You have to understand how big that is: me alone on the computer on a Saturday night is usually a 100% guarantee of PMO with 4-5 hours of edging. I think this could be a breakthrough.

    4-ACO-DMT: this is a chemical analogue of mushrooms, has psilocybin in it. Another good one, it showed me some useful things. Again, I take small doses, so I don't trip out and hallucinate. Not interested in that. Lasts about 3-4 hours, good mood, laughing at Norm MacDonald videos, etc. I learned that having multiple dating apps on my phone when I'm in no situation to date anyone is just another form of masochism. How? Because I'm looking at women who I have no hope of hooking up with due to my PIED. So I deleted all those apps and atm and determined not to worry about dating or sex until I get my career and living situation sorted out, which will take a while. I'm fine with that.

    I also learned that my current PIED/edging situation is my way of re-living in adulthood the situation I had in adolescence: I was practically surrounded by hot girls I had crushes on but was socially awkward so had no hope of getting with any of them. Well, now I'm pretty good with the ladies and have a couple of cuties that I could date except for my situation. I'm basically carrying on that high school situation into middle age.
    I also saw that my suicidal ideation and plan to kill myself when I turn 50 is masochistic. So was my former fixation on mysticism, i.e. the desire to annihilate the self via the transcendent.

    And I wake up the next day a little tired but no worse for wear. No crash, no bad mood afterward like with party drugs. And I find I'm way more considerate of others and more relaxed and forgiving than I'm used to being, both to them and myself.

    I think I might be on to something here.
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  6. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Just be careful man. That stuff can backfire on you and give you all sorts of psychological problems that are way worse than porn addiction and ED. It is just not worth the risk.

    You're looking for a short cut here, a magical pill that solves all your problems. I don't believe in that. OK, maybe for people who are very depressed, and for who there are no other options it could be an alternative. But with professional guidance.

    In any way, if you're going through with it, give it another thought before you post about here. Dont let other people take unnecessary risks.
  7. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I also think that there is a common danger here that many addicts face, that in giving up one addiction they develop another one. Even if you can avoid a negative reactive reaction in the body by taking psychedelics, they are not addressing the underlying problems of addiction . In other words it is easy to become dependent on another crutch just to get through life, much in a similar way in which we use porn to stay afloat.
  8. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Well this topic turned out to be super interesting. I have been fortunate enough to have someone in my life that has been microdosing LSD a lot, but describes a regular dose of LSD to be a perfect 'down the rabbit hole' trip to having porn fantasies, that allow him to fulfil his wildest adventures. He has a girlfriend but regular sex does not cut it for him any more. I told him to get support or even professional counselling.

    The same goes for you SuyF: I strongly advise you to get direct support or counselling from someone in person. You shall benefit from the experiences if you have someone to guide you. As for your "i.e. the desire to annihilate the self via the transcendent.", that's something I have heard before , a friend explained me about his desire to try 5 MeO-DMT to kill and neglect his Ego, to become a better person. We tried some ordinary psychedelics together but I am not sure whether he was able to gain 5-MeO DMT. He was a broken piece of work too, similar to your situation.

    So in all of my honesty I recommend you to try the ayahuasca only if you have someone with both the understanding of your situation and how the drugs work. I wish you good luck with your voyage!
  9. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    I used to brew my own ayahuasca and drink it at home. Unfortunately, I don't have access to the plants at the moment. Ayahuasca is more powerful than other psychedellics, but also safer when used correctly. Things like LSD could go either way, but Ayahuasca is unambiguously healing and beneficial. I can't say how much of a lasting impact it might have on PMO addiction. These patterns are really tough to break, but psyhedellics are the best tools that we have to fight against addiction and depression. If you are not pure first and/or don't respect the plants, you'll get your ass kicked. The terror is literally on the level of what people experience on the battlefild. I had the classic near-death experience. There's always a lot of physical and psychological discomfort involved, but it's well worth it. The Ayahuasca experience is exact opposite of acting out addictions: facing difficult emotions head on, doing hard work, feeling terrible over the short term, but much better in the long term. It's like running a marathon or some other big challenge. Make sure you know what you're doing. If you're in a group, they should take care of you. If you're really struggling this can definitely help you.
  10. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

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  11. I'm taking one of the meds mentioned. Will cut it out a few weeks in advance if I decide to go through with it.

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