You don't get scared by bears on a screen, why do you get aroused by women on a screen?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Jul 26, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber New Member

    Hopefully this topic will change the way you perceive the artificial "normality" that is virtual stimuli. I find it very difficult to watch how the vast majority of people simply accept that it's "normal" to get sexually aroused by such stimuli (porn/pics/gifs etc) and believe that "you can't stop it cause it's natural".

    The thing is, you shouldn't, or rather, it is not obligatory you should get aroused and certainly it's abnormal to get aroused to such an extent you get a raging hard-on and masturbate/ejaculate.

    What happens in every situation when it comes to perception is that you first need to assign some meaning and value to it. Believe it or not, the only reason you can get aroused to porn/images in the first place is because you accept them as being real - suggesting proximity to a sexually available woman. You get aroused because your mind incorrectly perceives you're about to have sex/reproduce and it prepares for it.

    But even the most hardcore pmo addict will accept the fact that you do not get to have sex/reproduce by watching sexually available women on screen or print. You're just looking at a screen or at a piece of paper.

    Now, what does the bear in the title have to do with all this? It's just a metaphor you can substitute with anything of your choice and that's meant to show the equivalence between arousal at virtual stuff.

    If you're walking in the woods and you see a bear 20 feet away charging at you, you will be scared/terrified and rightfully so. Your heart will start pounding, cortisol will rush though your system and you'll get many other physical reactions. It is a very dangerous situation that is likely to get you killed. The response you get is a valid response. Now, imagine the same scenario but this time you're in front of a giant screen that gives you the perception that a bear is 20 from you, charging at you. You will NOT get the same response as before because you understand the situation is not real. Sure, you could get mildly uncomfortable or even scared a bit, but the amplitude of the response won't be anywhere near the previous situation. If it was, your reality testing would be questionable and it would be best to consult a mental health expert.

    Interestingly enough, only children will get more scared because their reality testing is relatively poor. A child being terrified at a bear charging him/her on a screen is relatively normal, especially if it's the first exposure.

    What i'm saying is that humans have a built-in system of reality testing and that they can switch it on and off or fine-tune - it's really what happens when you watch a horror movie or action movie and you're scared/thrilled whatever. But you could watch the same movie and have 0 emotional and physical reaction if you would not give it any meaning as reality and you'd watch it objectively. You choose to suspend reality to enjoy the immersion and sensations a movie provides.

    How does all of this relate to porn/sex fantasizing (or sexual gratification in general)?

    It shows that, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT OBLIGATORY to get sexually aroused when you see a woman on a screen or on print or in your fantasy.

    It is a CHOICE, and it is a choice you make because you get short term benefits without any cost whatsoever. A man that can achieve sexual gratification without any real sex with a real woman is a man that has "hacked" his brain to give him rewards with no effort.

    So while the incentive to stop interpreting bears on screen as real is that it's unpleasant for you and you want to avoid such unpleasant feelings, sexual gratification though fantasy (porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing) has an incentive to be kept functional because it gives you free pleasure. If you can pmo, you just found the Holy Grail of free pleasure and you keep getting sexual gratification through fantasy (porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing) because you don't want to lose that ability.

    However, you should not want free pleasure, it's the fastest way to completely destroy your brain and your motivation and your ability to feel pleasure (the more pleasure you get the more the receptors for it will downregulate and you'll need more pleasure just to get the same effect).

    So please, understand that it's not "normal" not to be able to separate reality from fiction and that it's not "normal" to get excited by pictures on screens. It is a CHOICE you make.
    Universal and WilliamOneAndDone like this.

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