you are cured when you can get an erection with a women w/ no touching?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by bigproblem, Jan 28, 2014.

  1. bigproblem

    bigproblem New Member

    you are cured when you can get an erection with a women with no touching? Thats what it seems to me like, if you need to touch yourself than you are not cured? Thoughts?
  2. Psalm 51:2

    Psalm 51:2 Wash away all my iniquity, cleanse me from my sin.


    You are cured when you don't think about P and don't watch P anymore, when you are able to touch yourself without pornographic fantasies and with light touch, and more importantly when you are able to have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman without performance anxiety, erectyle disfunction, premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation (these last issues are not necessarily linked to P).

    That is what cured means in my opinion and that is the goal I am trying to reach. I have PIED and DE.
  3. nowheretogobutup

    nowheretogobutup New Member

    Lots of guys require some stimulation to get erect, either from themselves or their partner, so I think that requirement does not apply to everyone. You're cured when you can have sex with a woman and have eliminated P from your life. However it gets erect is just details...
  4. There´s a username i havent seen in a while.
    How is your situation?
    I think if you can acheive an erection with a woman, touch, blowjob or whatever, then have successfull sex with a happy ending then you are indeed cured.
    And yeah, no porn.
  5. Tahru1990

    Tahru1990 New Member

    you are cured when you get and maintain an erection long enough for a good sex life, ED takes a lot of different forms with porn, i have know some to be able to get an erection from kissing but get bored quickly and need to think about porn to keep stimulated, others cant get it up at all. When you are happy with your sex life then you know
  6. hollow

    hollow Lost & Found

    i am suffering from smth similar .. just want you guys to imagine that i can have erection while texting my girl on phone, & lose when we both together in bed :D

    i am from a closed community & lately moved to europe .. not used to that liberty yet .. so even imagining i am texting a girl i like can drive me horny .. but this horniness is still about p .. thats why that brain which is linked to p, feel that having sex with women is something weird its not used to it .. thus feel it sending quick orders to be away of such unknown act

    i am cured when i go myself searching for sex .. when my girl is near & sex isnt far away, i am in full passion to go for it

    thats what i believe in

    pied is not a physical problem .. thus it cant be connected to having a random erection around girls
    Shaadu likes this.
  7. Foreplay is an essential part of sex. Touching is common place IMO.
  8. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    I think people keep confusing or mixing ED (dysfunction = you can't get it up and "in" at all) with EQ (quality = how fast, how hard, how long, what stimulation, what sensations etc.)

    Once you can get it up with a woman and have some kind of PIV sex, you are technically cured. Loss of erection due to performance anxiety notwithstanding. Everything after that is of course still part of the recovery from porn abuse, but the definition of being cured becomes much more muddy, since some guys simply never reach the levels of others.

    I am over 40 years old - I don't expect to even have the potential to recover to what an 18 year old guy can acchive. So waiting until i am there would not be a realistic expectation for a "cure".
  9. Tahru1990

    Tahru1990 New Member

    EQ is an issue with porn, I guess its what you think is success, for me at first when I could have sex I was so happy, but over time I wanted better erections, the less porn and more real contact the more my erections improved. Also I agree, when I first tried to have sex after years of porn it felt odd and uncomfortable. but now its just amazing
  10. hollow

    hollow Lost & Found

    thats great .. & actually i dont think anybody could approach good real sex without loads of rewiring before
  11. bigproblem

    bigproblem New Member

    Things are getting better.
  12. JW86

    JW86 New Member

    I achieved an erection two weeks ago with a woman and had sex. For five days afterwards, I felt zero sex drive but had recurrence of porn fantasy. Woman left, relapsed on porn. So I had sex, yet I am far from cured

    I think psalm summarised the cured state nicely.
  13. 19yearoldvirgin

    19yearoldvirgin New Member

    I think the OP is correct. Im my case anyway, i am 20 years old and a virgin in all levels, never even kissed a girl before, never even had female friends. I should be walking around with erections. So i should be getting 100% hard when with a naked women with no touch, etc.. But even after 110 days of no PMO, i still feel like so far away from it.
  14. boston

    boston New Member

    OP, what you described would be a very good indicator of cure, but not necessarily a definitive description thereof; as others have said, that kind of EQ might be out of reach for other reasons, or you might be close to a relapse, if given a proper "push" (say something brings you down and your brain calls for the porn-dopamine input for a pick-me-up).

    It's a very good sign, though. :)
  15. NoSpankThru

    NoSpankThru New Member

    I'm about 80 days no PMO, at around day 50 I shared a bed with a girl but nothing beyond kissing.Just lying there I was getting erect just from proximity which seemed a good sign.The only thing was they weren't locked in if you know what I mean.I'd be up for 5 mins then down, think of her again and back up.

    Is a true erection when you get aroused and then for the next 10/20 mins it's there, without any stimulus whatsoever?

  16. hollow

    hollow Lost & Found

    i have something similar .. seems brain not adapted to sexual intercourse yet .. if u could have more rewiring like that night .. i think u could have sex soon .. since that the response for women is okay .. just let your brain seek more .. till it reach asking for sex
  17. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    If you can get it up with a girl touching your dick but you cant get yourself up without porn or sex fantasy that may just be how your dick works.

    If however you can get it up easily without porn and minimal sex fantasy but not with a girl then you may have performance anxiety or need some more rewiring.

    If you need stimulation for sex to happen but with porn you dont or didnt need stimulation as in you got hard easily just looking at it, anticipation of it or thinking about it then your not cured. This is important you need to compare how your erections were when you were wired to porn but not if you abused porn and couldn't get hard with it either. Try remember how your erections were with porn in the early stages of addiction if you had ED with porn as well.

    I am at a stage were I get hard with porn very easily again. I grt hard without porn from sex thoughts as well and I can get hard without porn or any sexual thoughts and masturbate easily to orgasm. I however need stimulation to get hard with a girl, thats no normal if you look at me getting hard without touch to porn and thoughts about sex. Clearly a wiring problem were I am not accustomed to sex and women or I am still struggling with anxiety abiut sex and other mental blocks.
  18. boston

    boston New Member

    I'm at a similar place. Some touch needed when with a woman. I'm hoping that No Fap February will change that. :) I haven't dared peek at P but I'll assume that I could get aroused by it without much touch at all.
  19. aa12345678

    aa12345678 Guest

    you are cured when you quit all PMO and can get an erection with your partner easily without masturbation ...
  20. zorofriki

    zorofriki New Member

    I'm at the same stage. I have EQ problems with girls (need foreplay, and after a while penis shortens), but did fine with porn before starting the NO PMO earlier this year. But i wonder, could it be that we just dont enjoy sex that much? I mean just think about it, masturbating to porn is easy. You just view a selection of girls on various sexual acts, and just rub one out with no pressure. While on sex you get to foreplay for a long while, give and get oral, and thrust in various positions. Its messy, its complicated, you're in you're head, like am i doing this right, should i do this and that, and you forget to have fun and live in the moment. Masturbation seems something spontaneous, while sex seems like a lot of work, and possibly subconciously we put roadblocks to it and hinder ourselves in the process by doing so.

    And its not like you get lots of chances or instructions till you get it right. Most girls dont have the patience till you figure it out.

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