Yet another journal! - 24y/o PIED

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by NeuroPlastician, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    (english may be a bit off, it's my secondary language)

    Well hello guys, this will be yet another journal of a fellow mate struck by the tremendous implications of porn induced ED. I will use this journal to track my journey through the reboot period and hope that some of you may be of help to me in dire situations. But first a little bit about myself, how everything came to be and a little bit about my future goals here.

    I am a 24 y/o student and been doing PMO ever since I can think. It started around when I was 9 that I was first introduced to porn through my older brother. He is almost 4 years older then me and had a pc that he was using frequently. Someday 2 friends of mine were over and he introduced us to some porn sites that were already pretty hardcore. Naturally that peaked my interest and in the following years I endulged in the world of porn without giving it any major thought. Of course to that date I never really had a sexual experience other then couple times MOing if I recall correctly. This behaviour went on and on and then with sixteen I had my first sexual experience with a girl, unfortunatly this is were my story and confusion began. Before I tell the story of that, let me give you a little bit of context though. I am by no means a bad looking dude, for a 16 y/o boy I was already 1,89m (thats 6'3 I think) tall and pretty buff. My character at that time was a little weird a mixture of intro-and extroverted, thats introverted to girls and pretty extroverted to guyfriends of mine. In my early years of secondary school I got bullied though because I had pretty bad acne which is probably the main catalysator of some self esteem issues I had during those years. All in all nothing to major for me, even though I was really introverted to girls in those years I could always mask it somehow and play the cool dude which brought me mild success in the beginning and ended up in the first sexual experience with a girl.

    She was 15, pretty and already had a well developed body for her age. I knew she already had sexual experience because she took the virginity of a guy from my school and I heard that they broke up. The guy wasn't a friend of mine so I thought I was good to go (wouldn't go for the girl of a friend). I made contact over facebook I think with her and everything went pretty well, so I told a good friend of mine. I was hanging around with him alot during that time, so I told him everything about her and that shes totally willing to have sex. He was a year younger then me but already had a girlfriend for two years with whom he had sex with but they also weren't together anymore. So he had alot more sexual experience. Then he told me something stupid like: "Hey man, lets meet her together maybe we can both have sex with her". I don't really remember exactly what he said and it doesn't really matter but the matter of fact is it was just plain stupid but my 16 y/o self didn't knew better so I agreed. Let me tell you this - WORST DECISION EVER. Long story short, we indeed ended up both in bed with her she was stripped naked all three of us lying in bed. My friend on one side, I on the other with her in the middle. She was constantly switching between kissing me and my friend. Anyway I wanted to fuck, my friend wanted to fuck and ehm ehm that poor 15y/o girl wanted to fuck us both. Just thinking about it damn... We came to an agreement because we (my friend and me) didn't want to have a real threesome, so my friend climbed out of the window of her room onto a little roof and said I should tell him when I'm finished. Well I think you guys can guess what happens now. To this date I never had, knew, thought or heard about ED but the moment she pulled out the condoms I realized, wait a minute I need a hard one to plug my little bad boy in and to my suprise I didn't have one. She was cool about it and I didn't really thought about it that much in this moment, little did I knew. After 4-5 minutes of trying I called it off and dressed again, so I could tell my friend that it is his turn. And there I was making a mistake I didn't knew was a mistake at that time - I was telling my friend that it's his turn, he was suprised that it was so fast so I just told him: "Jeah man, I couldn't get a hard on so I couldn't use the rubber so we didn't have sex" and ohh man did this MOTHERFUCKER burst out in laughter, he laughed so much and so hard it was infectious so she started laughing too all of a sudden. Okay, really really bad situation for me, I got pissed but I surived it. This story stuck with me though and for two or three more years I was still friends with this dude, so everytime anything came up with a girl or we were hanging around with friends he gave subtle hints into group conversations reminicing this moment, making everyone start to guess what was going on. He never told anyone and I was always trying to get rid of this topic but it really struck a nerve with me and it really made me feel bad. For anyone wondering why he was my friend.. he did have his good sites as well and was most of the time a good friend.

    Shitty story, still makes me fill sick to this date. The reason though why I was writing this story down in all detail is this one. For approx. 7 years I had a wrong image in my head of what caused my ED. I always thought it was performance anxiety, rooted deep in that moment I was just telling you about and it made sense to me because everytime I was trying to educate myself about ED during those past years it perfectly matched my case. I didn't knew about PIED at that time, so my reasoning was something like this: "I can get boners from porn easily but when trying to have intercourse with real women it doesn't work, must be perfomance anxiety". Little did I know.

    --> fast forward to almost today

    Before telling you about the current state of affairs a little bit more about myself. I'm a well educated guy and even though it seemed performance anxiety is heavily influencing my sexual life I never had problems being self confident, getting shit done or approaching women. The reason for that is probably because I have really supporting friends and parents in any which way (they don't know about my ED though). Also my brother being a drug addict and having a "bipolar shizophrenia" (don't know if its correct) caused me to take on a really grounded, strong rooted and supportive role myself. I always thought my parents wouldn't need another one of that kind, he is already taking it's toll on the family, so I always tried to deliver and I did. My friends always say I'm the most normal person they know and I don't have any problems lol. Back to the chicas - over the years I had many sexual encounters, shortly after the above mentioned scenario they still went horrible causing me to burry myself in research. I never really embraced professional help though leaving me with the impression of performance anxiety, thinking sooner or later this problem has to resolve itself. For the time being I thought why not try viagra, cialis and other erection, erectyle, performance, whatever booster until the problem is gone. This farce went on until now, never really getting a hold of it. Even though from time to time it was better then others I could never get rid of it. This problem also caused me never being in a real relationship, I thought it was way to expensive having regular sex like that, so I always went for the easy route and preferred the occasional one night stand. Just recently then a good girlfriend of mine told me about her boyfriend having ED and taking viagra(just wow that she told me that, till this date I can't talk about it to anyone myself, poor boyfriend. I think my first sexual experience really made me hate telling anyone about it.), so she did research and found some sources saying porn induced ED (why couldn't I find this, bad research I guess..) is a thing and it's a major problem for our generation and more. In this very moment my eyes lit up and my synapsis started firing like crazyyy. Fast forward again a little, I did ton of research about PIED especially on this site and I finally think I found the real reason causing my ED, thankfully! Knowing about this I started my reboot/rewiring process right that moment and now here we are!

    It's my first try and until now everything is going along pretty smoothly, some urges here and there but nothing I couldn't handle. I'm PMO free for 10 days now and I don't know if it's just placebo or not but those first 10 days were really productive for me. Before I used to PMO on a daily to bi-daily basis nothing to serious I think compared to some of the stories I've read here but it still was in my everyday life and sometimes I spent hours edging and looking for novelty stuff to wank off to. Even back then I used to read alot of non-fictinial stuff for personal development purposes and listen to audio books but now I use that free time of mine to read even more. I started with Norman Doidge's - The Brain that Changes Itself. Really good read! I also started a kind of diary where I write down whats happening in my life, mainly as an outlet.

    Now back to the point of this journal. I've skipped through a couple of journals from you guys here and I've read about you guys going through good and through bad times, having urges and having flatlines, having relapses and having full recoveries but one major point that stuck out to me was the support that you guys give to fellow mates. For now everything is going great for me but through your stories I know what hard times might be coming for me and for those times I hope I can count on you. Also this journal will be a reminder for me, knowing how I felt, what I went through and what hopefully will be a success story in the not so distant future.

    Your truly,

    hugs and kisses :D
  2. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Little update, day 11!

    Another day, almost done. Trying to keep arousal to a minimum but sometimes if I scroll through instagramm I see pictures of women I slept with, which leads to fantasies popping up in my head. I think I got that under controll though because I can pretty much get rid of them as soon as they come to my mind. Anyway need to watch out there as it is a potential pitfall and might trigger me. For the first 10 days I had morning wood every day for atleast 10 to 15 minutes, today was the first day it felt less strong, more like a soft wiener:eek:. Potential start of my flatline? I'm trying to go out as much as possible as it keeps my mind busy and off of naughty things. Gladly most of the time I have someone I can spend time with. Some of them are really cute girls which I haven't had any sexual relationship with but of course they get me fantazising. I will try to use that to my advantage though and "use" (sorry for that word, ofc I don't use girls but it fits here) them as my rewiring tool by engaging in mild body contact. Sex isn't the only method for rewiring and especially at the beginning I think thats a good start. So overall I think that day went pretty great! Tomorrow is another day where I'm almost out the whole day which is pretty good but I'll probably engage in heavy drinking because we are celebrating the birthday of a good friend of mine. Lets see how that goes!!

    As for my goals in hard facts, I haven't wrote them in my initial blog entry because I think having this mindset of: "I'm gonna do 30/90/1year PMO free", doesn't really fit me. My goal is straight forward, I just want to reboot/rewire completly and I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish that! I do have some questions about the MO part though. If any of guys have experience with that I would really appreciate it if you guys would tell me about it. How did you handle checking if there is any improvement in sensitivity. Did you just try to get it up with plain touch and without fantasy and then stop again, did you edge? What is your experience afterwards, was it harder for you guys to stay PMO free, get blueballs or anything of that kind? Please tell me!

    NeuroPlastician, OUT!o_O
  3. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Day 12

    Just finished of my day. The night from yesterday to today I had the worst sleep ever. Woke up several times and once with some kind of soft pannic attack. Don't know what happened there but my whole body was trembling. Never read anything about that in another journal but did that happen to any of you? Other than that I woke up from some really vivid dreams in which I had sex and I couldn't really stop them. Hmm.. After I woke up, the day was pretty normal. Really hard morning wood came back, I think mainly because of those dreams I had. No urges over the day. At night I went out, to the birthday party of a cute girlfriend of mine. Drank much, smoked weed had alot of body contact with alot of different girls, no problem. No reaction at all from my side.
  4. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    Hey dude. How are you feeling about this process? Good luck
  5. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Hey @WanderingSoul, I'm feeling great about this process because I finally know what is keeping me away from my last part of life I haven't gotten in touch with as much as I want! Finally knowing that what was hindering me from having a complete sex life is just exciting for me and I know that nothing, doesn't matter how hard it gets, will ever stay in my way of achieving said goal! I think keeping a focused and clear mindset is really key here. At least thats what helped me through all of my life so far and it worked great! If I ever budge or am having trouble I think the follwing - what do I wanna have?: a complete and fullfilling sexlife/realtionship with a beatiful woman. - what is getting in my way?: my PIED(with all its shortcomings) - what can I do to get rid of my problems: being PMO free! From there on out its an easy decision for me, its just a matter of balancing out the decision. What is the goal worth and are the the means to achieve that goal doable, are they getting in the way of something yata yata yata, I think you know where this is going. If what comes out of that thoughtprocess is that I have to quit PMO than thats what I do!
  6. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Day 13

    No urges at all, semi-decent morning wood and my mood is a little weird recently. I think I'm really starting to hit the flatline. I don't have any major reactions even if I see, talk to or engage in body contact with girls and I'm not experiencing any drive to hold conversations for to long. That was different some days ago where I was enjoying conversations to the max. . Maybe it's just because I thought those past two days weren't particularly great. I guess I'll see what happens the coming days!
  7. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Day 14

    Procrastination at it's finest. Woke up super late today, got headaches, a dry mouth and decent a MW again. After that I just procrastinated. Played Player Unknown Battlegrounds a good time of the day, its fun but man fuck that. Just started playing it because a friend constantly asked me. After staying away from video games for over a year completly i'm now back playing regularly and maan this shit time consuming. Need to get rid of it again and focus on the good stuff, like propelling myself towards my goals! I even had the chance to go out today with two friends of mine(both girls) but I didn't feel like it because I don't wanted to spend any money...should have gone. Anyway I'm really feeling the mood swings kicking in for me, got no drive at all to socialize but I'm hanging in there, I know its just a phase!

    I tried to get a feel for my urges the last couple of days and watched when,why and where they are the strongest. Got to the conclusion that the morning right after waking up, when I'm under the shower or when I'm bored are the riskiest for me. Guess nothing out of the ordinary.

    Maybe someone can help me with this. I am an occasional pothead and every now and then when I go out partying I do pills (ecstasy). I'm not concerned at all from the addiction standpoint but I do am worried about the use of ecstasy in regards to my reboot process. By no means I am an expert, never read much about ecstasy and it's effects but I do know that appareantly alot of serotonin is released during the trip and it might be somehow connected to your dopamine levels aswell. Anyone got experience with how it's affects your reboot process?

    The next 2 days should be pretty easy. Got alot of work to do, keeps my mind busy. Hear ya guys!
  8. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    Keep watching yourself that's huge. As soon as a negative thought comes, or you are doing something you dislike, take note, try and figure out why and do something better.
    I experimented with ecstacy a few times. Listen you will here a lot of people try and justify drugs, and the only ones I have found, (and the literature supports) that can have long term positive effects are the hallucinogens (weed, magic mushrooms, led). And even those when used too often will fuck you up. I am not extremely informed here, so that's a caveat, but I studied neuroscience and psychology in my undergrad, and i have personally experimented with all this stuff. Ecstasy is a terrible terrible idea to be doing often. You need to train your brain to get positive emotion from the real world, from accomplishments, from talking to humans (yes your brain rewards you for that), from noticing that you're accomplishing goals. The reason video games are so addictive is because technically you are accomplishing goals, thats literally how the games are set up. Thats why they sell so much, they activate the same dopaminergic system. Long term ecstacy will cause increased cortisol production meaning you'll be similar to someone with post traumatic stress disorder, hyper vigilant, irritable and unhappy. Get off that now. The pot use also should be stopped until your brain has had plenty of time to re-stabilize.
  9. User2044

    User2044 Guest

    Hey man,

    I had a read of your journal and that story in the beginning is an unfortunate one, don't worry, you'll be back in the game in no time if you stick with it. It's interesting that you got PIED at 16, I did also.

    I wouldn't personally mess with psychedelics during your reboot, unless it was in a therapy setting and the goal was to help addiction recovery.. If you have any symptoms of mind which are reboot related, risks of drug use may be exacerbated. In my case my reboot related symptoms worsened after a one off lowdose mescaline use, my symptoms resemble minor HPPD - I personally think it's 90% reboot and anxiety related however. I've read a few similar stories.

    The only drugs that I'd consider 'safe' for myself are low-dose alcohol, caffeine and nicotine (gum or vape). I use them very rarely.

    Keep going bud,
  10. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    @WanderingSoul Thanks mate for your feedback, really appreciate it. I'm definitly aware on the dangers of drug abuse. As stated in the introduction post, my brother is a pretty bad drug addict himself and has some pretty bad psycholigical issues partly because of that. I know what drugs can do on the most messed up level, still I think I'm in for the occasional pot and ecstasy, I really enjoy both from time to time and for me thats about every now and then with pot and about every second month ecstasy. Not that I have a schedule but just so you get a feeling. Anyway it's noted and I think that atleast for my reboot period I'll try to regulate it even more!

    @SeaWolf Thanks for your feedback aswell man, appreciate it! I'm sure I'll be back in no time even though my last couple of days didn't exactly went great. Going through a low at the time. Every since I discorevered the reason for my ED I'm pumped and even though I know there'll be more hard times coming there will be nothing to stop me on my way. Just have to fight through it and if I get knocked down, I will stand up again. I'll be aware of what you said. As stupid as it may sound but i'm pretty sure my next ecstasy is right around the corner, I will for sure watch it's effects on me and if there will be any negative major effect on the reboot process, I'll stop the use right away. You discovored that you have PIED at 16 aswell, damn man. What was is story and how did you went on with it?

    Day 15

    Yesterday was another one of those fucked up days. Had a really low mood allday long, went to work got no drive at all. Couldn't be productive and had a really slow mind. After work I went home, ate something and got really tired. So I went to bad at 8 pm to wake up the next day at 9 am (fucking 13 hours, what theeee fuuuuckkk). That meant I missed my gym session. Trying to sleep was the weirdest thing ever, I had a feeling of total inbalance and everything was shaking and turning when my eyes were closed. Really weird.

    Day 16

    As I said, woke up at 9 am, that was way to late for my normal work schedule but thankfully my job allows me to come and go as I please. So I went to the office and arrived there at 10:30 am, lol. Anyway the day itself wasn't as bad as the last ones, my mood was a little better but still nowhere close to my normal state. It somehow feels akward holding conversations with someone, normally not the case for me. After work I went to a hookah bar with some friends and afterwards I went to a park with a friend of mine and a girlfriend of him(his?). We smoked pot and chilled, felt pretty good while there but on the way home (which was almost one hour, because of the public transportation) I felt some pretty strong urges. Thankfully I was outside. Urges are gone now as i'm writing. Really tired right now, I'll try to get some good sleep, hopefully not to long this time, as I want to go the gym tomorrow morning. No work left this week, so I'm focusing on getting shit done, my mindset straight again and socializing. Lets see how that goes!!
  11. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    I suppose if you only use the ecstasy here and there it wouldn't be ridiculous. It's just if you're going to ask me about drugs I'm going to say don't do them. I personally think all those incredible states you achieve on drugs can be achieved without it. I guess my problem with drugs is that if you don't have goals in life then its easy to just fall into the trap of doing them all the time. You seem motivated about life though so I don't think you'll have a problem. But as part of your journey to understand yourself, experimenting with sobriety is something to consider.

    That's interesting about your lack of productivity. I'm currently in one of those funks right now where i'm just tired, unproductive and can't focus. It's "girlfriend of his" by the way, you are learning English very well.
    I also discovered my my PIED at 16.

    Stay on the path you got this. The days where your motivation is weakest, is the days when your will power grows the most.
  12. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Wuuuuzz uppp fellass. Heres a little breakdown of what went on the last two days!

    Day 17/18

    Back on trackk motherfuckerrrs. Haha sorry, I'm just in a really good mood. Day 17 i woke up after a good nights sleep, wanted to go to the gym right after I finished breakfast but I failed. Thats not bad though, one of my main objectives at the end of day 16 was to get back on track and get my mindset straight again and thats what I did. How did I do it? I binged watched motivational videos and RSD Max on YouTube haha. I don't know if thats the best way but that really got me going again. I'm naturally a really social person but sometimes you just need a push in the right direction and that was it for me! It even got me going to the gym at 11 pm that day. So thats done aswell. Next step for me was socializing in an active manner and thats what I did on day 18. Went out in the afternoon and was in a really good mood. Had lots of fun and infected all of my friends with it, was majorly self confident again and just didn't give a shit about what other people think (not in a jerky kinda way though). Just a great a day all along. Also I started meditating yesterday and I think that really helped me. The days before I felt like I just couldn't leave my bed and slept on average for 10 hours but after meditating yesterday for 20minutes before going to sleep, I could easily wake up after 7hours today, all rested, no problems. Have to keep going with that and watch it's long-term effects on me. Maybe it was just because I'm in such a good mood and was keen to wake up. Lets see, what day 19 brings to the table :)

    @WanderingSoul Yes, I do totally agree with you on that point man. I'm 100% certain you can achieve those states without drugs, because I've done that before and it's amazing. From an addiction standpoint I'm definitly not to concerned, I think I got that shit figured out and I'm glad about it. I think it's a mixture of what you said about having goals and the shock therapy my brother gave me. Knowing what drugs or addictions in general can cause is major for me! As for the sobriety, I'm totally in line with that thought. For me right now it's just that I dont want to have to many goals at the same time as I feel that it splits/weakens your focus on any single one of your goals and I already have so much going on. First and foremost I'll have to finish my bachelor degree and I want to cure my PIED and fight everything that stands in my way of doing so. Things I do everyday are trying to become a better me, looking for ways to improve myself, like what can I do better tomorrow; writing about 1 page in my diary; going to the gym on a bi-daily basis. I also want to improve my story-telling capabilites, probably start the self-authoring programm aswell and as of yesterday I really want to regularly meditate. I will definitly tackle sobriety sooner then later though! Haha thanks about the correction man, sometimes I still feel really stupid if its about writing in english. I'm fluent when talking but writing down your thought just feels so much harder sometimes, especially if it's in a foreign language. Really appreciate your thought man, keep hanging in there and stay strong ;)!
  13. WanderingSoul

    WanderingSoul Member

    Dude ill be honest i only skimmed your intro post, but now i read it fully and wow that threesome story is intense. I think most of us here on this site have suffered a difficult psychological trauma from our early sexual experiences, and just like you i didn't understand PIED for awhile. Those years of not understanding it and then subsequently not believing in it are the most painful because there's no end in sight. At least now we have a clear goal, and a light at the end of the tunnel. Good for you for persisting, I almost proud of you in a sense because I see myself when I read that post.
    In terms of professional help, most of it is bullshit. There are some brilliant psychologists are there, but most don't know shit. I went to see two different therapists and both told me that PIED wasn't real. How ridiculous. They literally set me back in my progress and I paid them for it. So its good that you didn't do that.
    If you have any tips on one night stands I'd be interested in hearing them. I've been able to hook up with people at parties and clubs many times but taking them back home I've never done. I'm asking because you said you've had them. To be fair to myself, I was always petrified of taking a girl home and not being hard so i didn't even bother really trying.

    To your recent post- I'm also into a bit of creative writing, I started working on a short story in my spare time. What kind of story telling are you into? And what are you getting your bachelors in? I can tell you're fluent, you have a broader vocabulary than most people. Keep it up dude seeing your story and your progress motivates me. Finding this site was huge because all of a sudden I wasn't alone in this terrible situation anymore.
  14. User2044

    User2044 Guest

    Man whatever gets you motivated, utilize it. Same with PMO abstinence or going to the gym, whatever motivation you can find use it, who cares if it's ego driven or whatever. RSDMax is cool hah, his content has helped me figure out a decent amount of things with situations I've been in. Good to hear meditation has helped you, it's a very powerful tool.

    As in my first ED discovery story? I hooked up with a girl and even though it was very intense, she was attractive I literally had 0% extra blood flow, the whole thing just felt like an alien experience. I was very comfortable with her, I had known her for over a year.

    Almost at 1 month man, stay vigiliant. Good job.
  15. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    'Sup guys. I'm tired so I'm keeping this short but I'll get back to you guys tomorrow evening!

    Day 19/20

    Had two really great days. Meditation really seems to work for me, so I'm keeping it up - my sleep is great the last two days! Yesterday in the morning I was focused on maintaining my state of mind, did that by watching some more videos haha. Went out with a girlfriend of mine later that day, had a really fun time allday long. We mostly hung out with a friend of hers wich in turn made us hang out with some friends of hers and all of them were pretty cute girls haha. Got no problem with that :D Sadly they were all in relationsships but it didn't bother me to much. I had lots of fun, maybe even a little to much, my friend constantly was weirded out from me having such a great mood. I didn't care to much, she felt that aswell so she started having fun again. Good thing.

    Today, same thing in the morning. Seems to keep me going! Afterwards went to the gym and had a nice workout. In the evening I went to a friends place and together with some more friends we went to a really nice rooftop bar. My mood in general is is still very good and we had lots of fun again. Right now I'm really good at don't giving a shit about what other people think as long I'm having fun and it seems to work pretty good for me.

    As to my reboot process. There is really not much to say, it feels like I'm breezing thorugh it the last couple of days! I have no urges to PMO at all, my libido seems to work normal and evereything is great. Haven't had sex for over a month now and I'm really curious if there is any improvement for me with getting an erection. Back then I couldn't get it up without porn, so I guess if I'm not having sex anytime soon I will just try it myself around day 30, without PO of course.

    NeuroPlastician, OUT! :cool:
  16. User2044

    User2044 Guest

    Awesome man, sounds like things are going good for you.

    Do you have any potential girls you could try to have sex with? All time spent with women is good, having sex or not.
  17. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Day 21

    Great day again. Positive mindset all along, went out with some friends to a boulder hall and we had some fun there. Other then that I'm just constantly trying to educate myself in different topics like: how to keep a positive mindset, how can framing influence your decision making, meditation and more. Right now I really feel like I'm in controll and I'm heading towards my goals with fullspeed, it's just great!

    @WanderingSoul Haha jeah man it was indeed intense as fuck. Still remember it to that date but thankfully I am over it. You're so right, I bet there are still so many people out there not knowing about PIED, which have similiar issues, or even in general and it's just crazzzyy. I wish this shit would somehow just go public, so it could give all those fellas in need a wake up call! Oh wow, thats bad to hear about the failed attempts of you going to a psychologist maybe it was really just bad luck but I hope I'll never have to find out myself.

    One nights stands, hmmm. Picking up girls is a majoooor topic in it of itself man and I am far from being an expert but jeah sure I can tell you about my experiences. For me its alwaysss diferrent, sometimes it just works like a breeze and sometimes I had to work for it. I think the key to me having one night stands is that if I know a girl really likes me, I am pouring out self confidence and girls are really good at feeling that. It makes them feel safe because I am certain of where I want this to go! If you're looking for a line though that you can say to them to bring them with you, can't really help you with that. Normally it's just me saying something like: "Hey lets hang out at my place a little, got xxx(can be anything) there that I really wanna show you, you have to see it. (in a club setting). Another example was 1 year back when I was an exchange student in australia and I was living on campus. I hosted alot of predrink parties at my place and I always invited alot of girls, when I felt I was vibing with one of them I just let the other people go to the club, pulled the chick somewhere, made out and told her: "Hey lets stay a little longer". Its really nothing major, I don't know haha. BUT man as I said picking up girls can be a whole science but really what it all boils down to is having self confidence, having values and showing that you're what you say you are. I'm really into the whole pick up community because what is teached there is not only how to pick up the hottest chicks but also how to become a better man. If you don't know about it, I urge you to give it a try! Look on YouTube for RSD (real social dynamics), I really like RSD Max and Maddison. Great guys! Ohh I just remembered the one time I met a girl and 15 minutes later we fucked in my bed. Was in a club smoking a cigarette outside when I saw this girl come up with a friend of mine. I literally just pulled that girl towards me, sat her down on my lap, made out 5 minutes and led her outside the club. A shuttle bus was traversing from the club to where I lived every 30 minutes but it just so happened to come right that moment. I just told her: "Hey lets go fuck at my place, it's five minutes from here", so we did hahah.

    As for the writing. I am not into writing stories myself, when I talk about storytelling I mean the social and communicative side of things. How can I communicate, tell my story in such a manner, to a person x to invoke feelings like anger, trust, comfort, happinies and so on. How do I keep people engaged when I am telling something, make them crave for more and letting them feel an emotional roalercoaster haha. I am studying "Business Informatics" and I'm doing my bachelors the coming semester, if I didn't fuck up. Just realized couple of days ago that I forgot to pay my semester fee and the due date is already over for 1 month. It is stated on the website that I get exmatriculated if I fail to transfer the money, really fucked up there. First thing I'll do tomorrow is to go to my uni and talk to some persons, to have hopefully not wasted 3 years of my life!

    @Sea Wolf Thanks for your words man, appreciate it! Jeah RSD Max is a really great dude, love the content hes pumping out! Ahh damn man thats bad to hear about your first time, it's always a bummer. Just image how it could have been if it weren't for this fucking PIED! No right now I don't have anybody to have sex with, my last time now was almost 2 month ago. But thats fine, I will find someone soon I am sure! Reason being I wasn't on a hunt at all. If something would have happened it have been pure luck :D
  18. NeuroPlastician

    NeuroPlastician New Member

    Day 22

    Quick update. Had a wet dream in the morning, not mad though. I guessed that would happen at some time because I'm not having a sexual outlet at the moment. So whatever, as long as its natural I'm fine with that :D Anyway still in a veryyy good mood, I'm vibing with everyone and I'm having fun. Also I got an email from my uni that I am staying a student, phew haha. Another problem gone! During the next couple of weeks another thing I want to focus on is my game and approaching more women in general. It's all fine and good for me meeting new women at social events but I really want to pimp my game/pick-up whatever you wanna call it to such an extent, that I can have women the day that I want them. Lets see how that goes, I'm still way to hesitant if its about approaching women in sitatuations that are not approved from society but I feel like I'm caring less and less about it and thats the direction I wanna head to!

    Keep pumping guys! Out:confused:
  19. FUBB

    FUBB Member

    That's 6' 2" ;)

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