Heya, Well, after looking around on yourbrainonporn and yourbrainrebalanced, I finally decided that I'm going to stop spectating from afar, and actually actively engage in my recovery. I've 20 years behind me, and done PMO since around 12 years old. Been engaging in fantasizing, downloading short clips with slow internet back in the day, erotic pictures, reading erotic literature (I'm gonna miss that) and going on porn sites for hours on end several times a week since then. Now I'm in university trying to figure out what direction my life is heading, and as I aspire to be the strongest and smartest version of myself, I've realized that this is one of the aspects of myself that is holding me back. It was 1-2 years ago that I completely gave up porn and didn't feel too much a need to masturbate, and my libido dropped a bit too. That lasted 3 months and I was a-ok. But then at the 3-month mark I started to question if.. well.. 'it still works' or whether masturbation is healthy, and I'm doing my body a disservice by not allowing release. That's because I remembered reading somewhere that doing it once every 2-3 days is healthy by some doctor somewhere in the internet. Well, one thing led to another, and in university I found myself NEEDING to masturbate in order to sit still. So I would turn on the wifi on my phone.. and masturbate to porn in the washroom...... there was a part of me that knew what I was doing was wrong... but I wasn't able to sit down and study if I didn't. And I needed to study. The urge was so strong that I would be reading my coursebook and suddenly catch myself fantasizing rather than focusing on the material. I read the extremely long post that The Underdog posted, and that really changed how I view this whole process of quitting PMO. I already knew that I used PMO as an escape, but only now am I really understanding how much I used it to run away from reality, and how much I depended on it. The problem being not the act itself, but the root causes of emotional incompetency. The Underdog's approach was really a new idea, though. To not focus on 'busying myself with different activities, hobbies, and work to take my thoughts off of masturbation,' but to 'put all of my energy and effort into building the life I want to have and the person I want to be, which will by its nature take my mind off of things.' This is the mindset I'm trying to develop atm. So my counter officially started as of yesterday, June 27th, and this is the beginning of my journey, and I'm just so glad and so happy that I've found somewhere in the internet where there are like-minded people. Can't emphasize this point enough. This is the first time I've made an account and really engaged in an internet forum, and the community here appears to be filled with great and motivated people.