Just picked up The Willpower Instinct from the library. I look forward to reading it based on comments from you guys.
That's great WRAT! Look forward to you offering your valuable opinion on the book! Your past 2 weeks!!! This is such a great start man! Stay well brother.
Another relapse and I'm feeling like crap. I'm reading the Willpower Instinct and I know exactly what the triggers were but I'm not sure how to avoid them. Our handsome, intelligent, awesome 25 year old son is an opiate addict. He works full time but lives at home and it is wearing on his mother and me. All the counselors and al anon folks tell us we have to put him out of the house and let him hit bottom before he will seek help. His mother thinks that yelling, arguing and threats that are never carried out are the answer. He is our only child and I did not grow up with my parents so I’m not sure I can put him on the street. I had my PMO addiction long before I was a father so I’m not blaming this on him. I’m simply stating this morning started with an argument with my son followed by an argument with my wife followed by some wasted time with PMO. I still have the family issues to deal with but now I’m dealing with them with a foggy brain and a sore dick. So glad I have this forum to vent to.
I'm sorry to read about your son WRAT. I don't know what to suggest I am sorry. I think you and your wife must Love him before anything else, that is just my feeling, I know nothing about this though. I just think Love. My view is based on the unconditional love I have for my son. I grew up with an alcoholic single father and , as a child, did not know how to help him. I hope and pray for the best for your family.
Reading the Chapter on License to Sin in The Willpower Instinct and it really opened my eyes. I highly recommend this book; it was at our local library. I thought I was the only one who justified bad behavior by remembering the good things I do and the bad things I don't do. Some married guys have sex with other women so me looking at porn and death gripping my penis isn't so bad, right. Also am realizing I have to deal with issues now and not wait till I feel I've rebooted. We are making positive steps with my son and I'm very thankful for that.
In is strange how reboot form PMO addiction can sure bring up so many other seeming unrelated issues. Best of luck with your son Wrat, I am sorry that this has happened to your family, and I am sure so many others.
I will hold you in my personal positive regard, WRAT...this sounds like an horrifically trying time. Know you are in my thoughts.
Thanks for the kind words FCJ, Chicken & Guy. I'm feeling much better than today. After the chaser effect the sense of calmness seems to be coming back. Have a great weekend everyone.
Feeling good the last few days and not really thinking about PMO. I haven't posted lately but still continue to read your journals.
Very busy with work lately so my reading and posting has slowed down. Just finished the chapter "What the Hell" in "The Willpower Instinct". What an eye opener. Interesting concept of forgiving yourself for whatever issue makes it easier to move on rather than beating yourself up. Much like what I've been reading in this group. Glad to have two weeks behind me. In the past the first two weeks has always been the toughest.
Good weekend. Watching Season 3 of Game of Thrones with the family. There are brief nude & sex scenes but no triggers for me so far. Can't believe how much time I've wasted watching videos of other people having sex. I just can't say enough good things about The Willpower Instinct. I read about Ironic Rebound over the weekend and am facinated. I've had 12 hours of psychology courses in college and never heard of this. Simply not fighting disgusting thoughts yet not believing them helps them go away rather quickly.
WRAT, Great work on reaching day 20 on your journey. You are doing great. One thing I have noticed in the past in watching some of the HBO style TV shows like Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, etc. is that I could get through watching the nude scenes. However the next day I would always feel this strange pull where I was feeling the heavy urges and temptations and the nude scenes would pop into my head from the night before. In other words it would take me until the next day to feel the full effects of seeing a nude scene. Also when I was free from PMO for 3 years many years ago, I used to tilt my head forward slightly and cover my eyes with one of my hands in a movie theater when the nude or sex scenes would hit the screen. This always worked for me. You may find that these scenes don't bother you, but I know for me, I can get through them, but the darn boomerang effect hits me hard the next day. I have decided to stop watching these shows because of how they effect me by the day after watching them. Keep up the good work, you're doing great!
Rex, thanks for your reply; the timing was perfect. As I am trying to get some work done the scenes are popping into my head. No desire to PMO but the scenes creep in.
Another 20 days WRAT... and in the big picture so much more progress on your overall path! Awesome fine Sir!
WRAT, It's amazing how that happens, the last time it happened to me was when I watched an episode of HBO's True Detective a few weeks before I joined the forum board. I had been free for about 2 days from PMO and there was one beautiful woman who was a girlfriend of one of the lead characters who was naked in that episode and I was proud of myself that I got through the episode without any issues. However the next day, I was tortured with the images in that episode of this naked woman which caused me to fall. Keep tough and try to change your thoughts every time those images pop into your head today, eventually they will leave. The day I joined the forum board and made the commitment to go cold turkey on PMO for good, I wanted to see the episode from that previous Sunday on HBO Go that I missed of True Detective, and then I thought about what happened a few weeks earlier and said "forget about it". I haven't watched a HBO show in the last 2 weeks and I don't miss them. I love Boardwalk Empire but I am not going to watch it when the next season returns this Fall. Keep fighting you can beat the thoughts, they will go away and pass soon.
Happy Friday; feeling great today. I survived a huge hurdle for me so my hope has increased. Got in a 1AM from a business trip. My typical night alone in a hotel room is a PMO binge and this trip was full of triggers. I had to get up at 3:30 to make an early flight. There were beautiful ladies, late flights, bumpy flights and the sound was muted on my GPS when I was trying to get out of Newark Airport. There was a good restaurant walking distance from my hotel so I had more to drink than usual. For the first time in decades I kept my hands off my penis and did not peak at any porn. My customer meeting the next morning was awesome. Good to be home and back on this board. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
WRAT, Great job beating the addiction while you were on travel when the loneliness hit. That's quite a feat. It's victories like this that help to break the chains of the PMO addiction permanently. Think of how well you felt and did in your business meeting since you decided not to fall to PMO the night before, and remember that great feeling when the urges hit again. Those type of positive reinforcements of remembering how well I felt after resisting the urges and temptations, have been helping me to beat the urges and temptations every time they hit again.
That is so inspiring WRAT... I have read several books on sexual addiction , written by men , that all pointed out the various triggers that came as a result of business trips. Some men here at YBR had falls while travelling. I think your being able to power through the trip clean bodes so well for your recovery. Great strength friend!
