Hello Guy, Thanks for checking on me. Things are good; busy weekend. Tomorrow I'm traveling most of the day but I'm worried about tomorrow night. Shamefully, when I'm alone in a hotel room, I tend to PMO binge most of the night. My meeting is early Tuesday so I'm hoping I will just get a good nights sleep and enjoy my Tuesday. Thanks for your journal; it is inspiring.
Hey Wrat: I spend a whole lot of time in hotel rooms...they can be lonely places for sure....my advice is to get out and explore, hit the gym, pool, hot tub, sauna or what have you...failing that find a good movie on TV keeps the attention better then the crappy shows that are on or even come here and read some journals! That is what I do.
The good news is I didn't look at any porn; the bad news is I masturbated. I had a great evening with my boss in the Big Apple; awesome dinner, a little wine and a walk around Times Square. Back at the hotel by 11, went to bed but could not sleep. I had an early meeting so I used the excuse I need to get some sleep. There were no bizzare fantasies and it was all over pretty quick. Trouble is, I still couldn't sleep. My meeting went great and had a great trip all in all; didn't get home till midnight so I am still tired. Even with the relapse, still noticing positive effects of no P and 40 days of no M. Glad to have you guys on this journey with me.
Feeling good today; got some much needed sleep last night. Although I'm really bummed I M'd Monday night, I'm so thankful I didn't do the all night PMO binge I typically do when I'm alone in a hotel room. I travel every six weeks to two months and the routine is completely opposite of the home routine. During the week at home I'm alone working on a computer all day. I do some customer visits and an occasional lunch with a client or a buddy, but most of the day is alone. In the evening my family is home and they keep me occupied. When I travel, I'm meeting clients during the day but alone at night. I was certain that an M Monday night would allow me to go to sleep but it didn't. Yesterday I had a strong desire to PMO but today I'm disgusted by the thought of either. Thanks to all of you who share your stories and offer encouragement.
ARGH, just relapsed. I had a great day; good customer call this morning followed by lunch with some buds I haven't seen in a while. This afternoon was real productive and fun. Then from left field, I relapsed. I guess my guard was down because I've done really well on the bad days. I guess the good news is I didn't enjoy and feel like crap. I hope I can remember that going forward.
Still working on self forgiveness for my relapse Friday but I am thankful that it hasn't happened since. I'm shocked and a bit scared at how fast it happened. It was like flipping a switch. Today I'm home alone again working on my computer. I've put a lot on my schedule so I hope that will keep me too busy to allow a relapse. Again, thanks to the community.
Read what these guys say WRAT, just one day at a time. It's really the way to go. Good for you for trying to keep busy. That really helps. Keep it up
You have to forgive yourself... this is the only healthy way to move forward. You know this, deep inside it is innate. Look you are already making tracks WRAT! so cool.
Wrat: Come and read the journals and make some posts. Helping others helps I find. There are some amazing people here that sure help me.
Another relapse yesterday. I had a bad headache and laid downn to take a nap. The telephone woke me up and in a matter of minutes I relapsed. Feeling like crap but determined to not let it get the best of me. Got a full day of work today and going to the gym at lunch so I should stay occupied. It scares me how quick this can happen.
