After 40 days, a bit of an update. Things are going well, but the past few days have been a challenge, mostly bc there is this insanely hot 20 something in my NA meeting throwing me all kinds of indicators. This is a girl I wouldve considered out of my league 3 months ago ( I am 34 btw), but now it seems as if anything is possible. I am not sure what exactly to do, bc I am still coming out of my flatline (I am getting some feeling back down there) and I dont want to screw things up. I feel like this new found interest from the opposite sex is a combination of reduced anxiety and the fact that I have lost 35lbs and am pretty ripped at this point. I feel like these are good problems to have, but I think it is a little soon for me to be making these decisions. I am encouraged by the fact that my urge to m is due to a real female rather than a pixelated 2d image. I guess if things progress with this girl I can tell her the truth. I doubt she would be as judgmental as most girls since she is recovering from drug addiction and most likely has cross-addictions. We will see shortly. I chair the 10:30 meeting tonight.
Half-way home, starting to get a little life downstair. Exciting, but also kind of scary, bc the urges are ramping up. Not to PMO, but to MO.
