Day 13. Not really struggling too bad. My anxiety seems to be waning slowly and I have def been getting more female attention. I think a good bit of the confidence-building has been my new dedication to diet and exercise. I am doing quite few things to better my life so this new confidence could be attributable to any of them. I have been getting morning erections again since before I began nofap, which is weird, and I can only chalk it up to one of two things. 1) Started taking zoloft a couple of months ago. 2) I had drastically cut down my mo to 1x a day for the past 2 months, up to 13 days ago when I went nofap and no p. Its weird, bc I am still in a flatline. Not much libido at all, but mentally things are definitely improving.
Two weeks today. Some observations. This journey began by accident. Back in early February I decided that I was fat and lazy and decided it was time to do something about it. Now I havent had a drink or a drug in a year and half and quit cigarettes almost a year ago, so junk food was a tough thing to give up. Adding exercise to the mix was an even bigger transition. I have a good friend who is also clean and sober so I decided to asked his advice on what to do. He pointed me to the bodybuilding forums and I took my diet and exercise routine from there. He also encouraged me to check out their miscellaneous section when I had downtime. I cam across a thread that about a young guy with ED. A poster said that he might have porn-induced ED. I googled the term and voila I found YBOP and this site. I am placing a lot of hope and faith in this process as I have a lot of relationship and sex problems that I think are rooted in this. Confidence with women, being a key problem, and it only makes since that I would lack confidence seeing as I cant maintain an erection or O with them. With all these lifestyle changes in effect I am noticing a huge confidence surge with women. I have lost 25lbs in 2 months and gaining muscle at the same time. I am becoming stronger and the anxiety is slowly melting away. I cant wait to see what the future brings!
Thanks. I have been seeing a therapist the past few weeks. I havent brought this up yet. I know I should, but I am not completely comfortable sharing everything with him yet. This is getting easier with every day. I am really excited to see more results!
From what I've read, not all professionals think PMO is bad, so your mileage may vary if you decide to tell. The one thing we all know for sure is that No PMO isn't dangerous, and at the very least we find it leads to other positive changes in our lives, so there's no harm in the quest.
Its funny, but there is nothing a professional could tell me to change my mind about it either. I feel like psychological areas such as this are extremely underdeveloped. When I first stumbled across YBOP and this site, I immediately identified with what everyone has experienced, and I have seen the benefits of nofap (albiet limited) and to be honest it is common sensical. I would put more stock in what a professional had to say if he could back it up with studies and scientific evidence, but the phenomena is still young and I am going to trust this site for now.
Moment by moment. Let the days take care of themselves. Just keep focusing on the benefits you're gaining the consequences you're leaving behind.
I have started getting consistent morning erections lately, and I feel like I am slowly come out of the flatline, but I am still a ways from where I want to be. I hope I will intuitively kind of know when the time is right. In the past when I saw a physiscally attractive female I had the insatiable urge to masturbate. I think I will be ready when instead I have the insatiable urge to bed the female.
My 30 day goal is coming up and I plan on extending to 90 days after that. What sort of cues are you guys looking for in order to move forward with sex w/ a partner? I think wet dreams would be my biggest signal. Never had one in my life, but I have been MO since before I hit puberty. I feel like in order to ejaculate to mental stimulation, i.e. (erotic dream) then I would guess I am close to being rewired. Thoughts?
Today is day 30. Have extended my goal to 90 days. Debating going on an NA spiritual retreat this weekend in the Florida Keys. There will be lots of good looking girls in bikinis. Might be tough, but at least it will be real women!
Traditional reboot as I understand it (presumably the same as your 'rewiring') is 90 days. If you go fewer you might regret it, and have to start over. Why risk it, IMO.
My understanding is that it is different for different people. I have extended my goal to 90 days anyway so the point is moot, but just bc I hit a 90 day mark doesnt mean I am ready for sex, either. My question (and maybe it wasnt clear) is whether there are physical cues that will let me know I am ready rather than the sometimes embarrassing ordeal of trial and error with a partner. Maybe a thread could be started and long term members can share their experience on the subject.
Well done checkcall. Just wanted to say your 30 day achievement is helping keep me focused and hopeful. And great to see you extending to 90.
Congrats on 30 days. Your sparse journal makes it seem like a walk in the park compared to my temptation-filled, over-analyzed hell journey Glad to see the 90 days extension. From YBOP the brain needs at least 60 for certain chemicals to flush out.
Definitely not a walk in the park, but I feel my experience conquering other addictions has been very beneficial. Also, with 35 days in, I am not about to give up the progress I have already made just to start over.
Greta checkcall, 35 days is very strong. I found that this is were very good and interesting things begin to happen. You are right, it's not a walk in the park, but there are more good moments and the roller coaster starts to smooth out.
