I am 34, but for some reason I can post in that forum so I will tell my story here. I have been pmo free since the first day I read this forum 3 days ago. I have done this before on my, bc I suffered from another MO-related problem (inorgasmia as well as ED) and that I thought was related to me MO prone. I did this all of my life up to a year ago. I broke myself of that habit and learned to MO the traditional way, and I was able to O with a partner. The way I broke the habit was 3 weeks of no PMO. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and combined detox from those drugs with detox from PMO. At first it was great. I could achieve a hard erection and O with a partner. Well 15 months later I feel back at square one. In the past 15 months I have given up drugs/alcohol/smoking/junk food and have been exercising regularly. Now apparently I need to give up PMO. I identify with most of the stories on here and my PIED has crippled my sex life since I was 18. If all of the research I have been reading is true, then PMO could be the root to a lot of the problems I am suffering from now. ED, social anxiety, depression, prostate problems, sweating problems and the list goes on. I pray that this is the root cause, bc it means I have a solution (albeit a very difficult one). I feel like I have made progress in a lot of areas in my life, but this will be my biggest challenge yet. A lot of addicts such as myself suffer from cross-addiction. One of the reasons I got sober was so I could have a fulfilling life. That means having a partner/kids, etc. Kind of hard to do with crippling ED. I think the 12-Steps can definitely be applied in this situation (and have) and I think the value of meditation and exercise will be imeasurable as I didnt have these things in my life on my last "reboot." Having experienced a short reboot, I can say I believe in the process. I am also familiar with the "flat-line," which I am experiencing now. I welcome it as I know that it will help in the beginning with the urges. Anyway I am committed to going 100 days w/o PMO and I thank you ahead of time for your support!
Welcome aboard. This is indeed the toughest addiction that I have dealt with. Part of this is not your fault. When Big Pharma gave you the pills for social anxiety and depression, they probably gave you the side effect of DE (Delayed Ejaculation). It's a vicious cycle. It's time to take control ourselves, and leave Big Pharma and the Porn Industry behind. Warriors!
Day 4. I am used to the drill so nothing earth shattering to report. Havent had any ridiculous urges thus far, but I know it is coming. I have also been so busy the past 3 months or so I have only been able to PMO an avg of 1x daily (except for weekends) so maybe that has helped the transistion a bit, but I know it will get much tougher before it gets better. Keeping busy and away from home certainly helps though.
Yep. If you live alone, or have a lot of alone time, keeping out of the house is key. Friday nights are dangerous for me. I came home and got on here. As soon as I finish reading the last few unread posts, I'm out of the house. No reason to be in here by myself.
Keeping myself occupied is definitely helping me. I bought a motorbike a couple of years back that needed some repairs, and I've finally gotten around to pulling it apart to repair, sand and paint. It's taking far more time than the bike is actually worth, but that's not really the point. It's keeping my mind off other things, and that is the point. Good luck kicking a bad habit.
5 days checkcall, man that is a fine start. We ere all at 5 days once. Well some of us could not even get 5 days strung together for a while! Good for you, stay focused and in the moment.
Thanks for the encouragement. Just got back from the gym and going to back to back t 12 step meetings. When I get home my plan is to watch a movie and go to sleep. The biggest challenge will be tomorrow morning on my first day off since I started the reboot. This is where prayer and meditation will come in handy.
Checkcall. You are doing great. Congrats on the first week. You are doing the right things, keeping yourself busy and attending meetings. Keep posting here!! I find being part of this community helps tremendously. Of course the meditation and prayer help as well Mike
Made it through yesterday. Not too bad. Hard to fill up my day on a weekend. Went to the pool and the gym and to two 12 step meetings. Morning is obviously the worst. Its such a habit to PMO on a weekend morning. When I am in front of the computer I try to be on this site, or YBOP learning more about PIED. Its amazing to me what I am learning. I have a myriad of psychological problems that could be related to PMO. Learning more about the science behind addiction is fascinating and helps ease the shame I feel as a result of the stigma society attaches to addiction. I am in a flatline, but it doesnt bother me, bc I know it will subside and plus I really do not want an overactive libido this early in the process. A little more about my history. I started masturbating very, very young. I would masturbate prone and experience orgasm at a very young age. I masturbated prone up until a year ago when I found healthystrokes.com This site opined that masturbating prone (or lying down) produces ED and inorgasmia, which I experienced in every sexual encounter I had with a female. I started PMO probably 12-13 years ago, and always masturbated prone. I thought I had found the answer and after 3 weeks of no PMO I went to a massage parlor and had a masseuse bring me to orgasm with her hand. This is the 1st time I have ever had a female bring me to orgasm through stimulation. Needless to say I was excited, but the more I pmo'd the less excited I would get around real women. My tastes morphed and my fetishes became more and more risky. I saw reference to the healthy strokes site on YBOP and I now see the error I made. Though masturbating prone probably contributed to my ED, PMO was the main culprit. I know that I have the ability to O with a female, if I abstain from PMO. Now I need to trust the process until the reboot is complete.
Hi. I just started a journal today. Thanks for your sharing. I am also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I went to some 12 step meetings and read the Big Book but never really did the steps. Recently, I became so desperate about my PMO addiction and other sex addictions, that I searched across the internet and found 12 step groups for sex addiction where the meetings take place entirely over the phone. I found a sponsor there and he has rapidly taken me through the 12 steps. I feel some strong changes happening although I am off to a rocky start - just check my counter below!! Nevertheless, my confidence is very high. I am PMO'ng very rarely, and not going off on binges when I slip. They are isolated events. And, for some reason, I have high hopes that I'm going to make it this time. Message me if you are interested in 12 step telephone meetings that focus directly on addictions related to sex. Good luck.
I appreciate your support and wish you continued success in your journey. In my life I have to keep recovery from drug and alcohol addiction a priority, bc w/o sobriety I have nothing. I wouldnt even dream of being on this site if I was still using. All the lifestyle changes I have made are only possible, bc I am sober. I am glad to get the work week started so I can stay busy and not have my mind on porn. The urges have not been to great so far, but I know once I get into the 2nd and 3rd weeks they will only get stronger.
Glad to hear that you're going strong. I agree with what you say about sobriety. I've also come to believe that PMO addiction is just as destructive as drug and alcohol addiction, but it doesn't show itself in such obvious ways. It has made me incapable of true intimacy. It has made me isolate myself. It has nurtured character defects that rob me of my potential. I'm looking forward to recovering from it so I can experience the freedom, joy and strength that results. Keep up the winning work!
Day 9. This morning was a bit rough, bc I am on a new work schedule where I dont have to be in until noon. I went to the gym before work and that helped. I will be pretty busy the next few days. I am trying to keep the re-booting benefits at the forefront of my mind, but they seem so far off.
That's right! I think I'll read some success stories. I'll also remind myself of the misery and futility of going back to PMO. It certainly doesn't work for me anymore! I always end back at the same place. Miserable. Confused. Horrified. I've still got a chance to fill my life with some real peace, love and joy. I've just got to make it through today. Tomorrow, I'll start again.
Day 10. About 1.5 months before I began the rebooting journey, I decided to go on a diet and start hitting the gym. I am down 21lbs in 2 months and feeling great. I have noticied a lot more female attention and I have gained confidence as a result. I think rebooting will contribute signifcantly to this confidence, bc when I knew that I had ED and DE made me not want to pursue women. I didnt even try. Who wants to be in the recurring nightmare of not performing with women?
Checkcall and allpoots, Just reading your posts helping each other. Just outstanding support. Men, I just love reading your successes. Please keep reporting the benefits!
