Wow I guess it will never be OK

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by will53, Jun 4, 2013.

  1. will53

    will53 Guest

    Well it has now been a little over two years with no P or M. I still have trouble maintaining an errection when I am with another person. The back story is that I masturbated at least 3 and more often 4, 5 or more times a day for over 25 years. After Porn got easy to get to on the internet I really got into watching that while masturbating. Many of those sessions, particularly in the evening went on for hours with huge orgasms at the end. Like all adictions or so I am told the craving never really goes away you only learn how to manage it and not give into those cravings. Nothing I have done in the past two years with another person has come close to giving me that release and high that those masturbation sessions did. I am now believing that I am never going to have that level or orgasm again. I guess when I started this I thought that I would be someday cured and life would be like it was before this all began and now I see that isn't possible. So look to the other areas of your life that quitting m/p will emprove because sex isn't one of them.

  2. BlueLight

    BlueLight New Member

    How many people have you had sex with where you "edged for hours"?
  3. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Good info for me, Will, from someone running ahead of me. Some of us have probably done some permanent damage.

    Fortunately, I am completely okay with it. There have been so many significant improvements in various areas of my life that whether I can perform in bed is of very little concern to me. I am extremely happy with the deal I made:

    I gave up porn, and in exchange, I was rewarded with a Brand New Life!!!
  4. ambrose

    ambrose New Member

    Will -- I have been addicted to gambling, porn, and video games. I still don't gamble... it just sort of lost its thrill when I lost $15,000 in one year on it... I only MADE $10,000 that year at my job. I DO play video games now but they are not life consuming - I play a few hours a week and when wife and kids are out of town I play a lot more.

    Oh, and the big kahuna addiction - cigarettes. wheeeeew. I never thought the craving would cease... but it did. After about 2 weeks it went way down. And now a days I have zero craving - zero. Not .00000000000000001 % of the time, but zero.

    Porn. Same thing. It CAN go down to no cravings.

    Now, if you're being honest about your age (40+) and your lack of PM (have you been fantasizing about porn during sex?), then you may be a candidate for viagra.

    As far as the intensity of orgasms.... Hmm.... I've had good ones, bad ones, and sometimes NO orgasm ones.

    And honestly too, you may want to go get your testosterone checked and also maybe see a urologist and get a physical. You've booted, now its time to go see a doctor.

    Don't go back to porn. That orgasm you are remembering is probably like the cigarette that gets romanticised to the point where it seems ilke it was the best thing that ever freaking happened. Its simply not true. But lest be honest, right? I mean, I've just said its not true. That's not exactly the case. Would one night of 7 orgasms with PMO be more than you could do with a woman? Yes, without a doubt. Would they be mind blowing orgasms? Probably. But you'll be trading in a healthy brain for another porn addiction where your NEXT session will not be as good as the last and you'll keep circling around in a cycle of addiction that leaves you unfulfilled.

    On that note, here's a tip from when i quit smoking... YOu can make a craving last ALL DAY if you want to. Or, you meet, greet and defeat it.

    Meet: I'm having a craving. Yeap. I saw _______ and it set me off.
    Greet: K... what can I tell about this craving? Did I ask for it? Was that smart? Have I kept control of my own mind's wanderings? Or was it just I saw somehing that used to set me off? Or do I just not even know why I am having a craving.
    Defeat: Hell no, I'm not giving in to this. Why? Because I said so.
  5. ambrose

    ambrose New Member

    Life can't be like that unless you have a TARDIS.

    See... Life becomes what it was before PLUS your natural aging thrown in.

    I quit smoking and thought I'd be running marathons like when I was 16... Umm. No. I'm not 16 anymore.
  6. newman2013

    newman2013 New Member

    With respect Will... Real sex is not about the "size" of your orgasm.... That is a bad idea which comes from porn...

    Real sex is about connection with a real person - something you can NEVER get through porn.

    I still believe that quitting porn will improve the quality of my sex life. I know that it has - and I haven't even done a full reboot.If I may - you need to "reboot" what you think sex is. It's not what porn told you it was.
  7. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Oh, I see, Mr. Ambrose. So you're going to be one of those guys who makes me look up and learn cool things like TARDIS. I could kind of tell from the context, but I enjoyed reading about the details. Well-done, and exactly right:

    "Life becomes what it was before PLUS your natural aging thrown in."
  8. rogert291

    rogert291 Member

    If I where you I would try going a full 3 or 4 months without PMO instead of just P and M. It could be that you need a total break to give yourself a chance to fully reboot. That's what I decided to do. Best of luck!

Share This Page