Would you use a system where you are always being observed by another person to beat PMO?

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by gregaro, May 13, 2021.

  1. gregaro

    gregaro New Member

    Something really struck me this morning, which is that a person who is trying to not PMO could guarantee total, limitless success on their first attempt simply by having someone stay with them all the time, due to the fact that people won't PMO while others are watching.

    The downside is that it would be invasive, and maybe at times awkward. You might have to be seen naked if you wanted to extend this to cover showering/trips to the bathroom, although I bet there are ways around this... for example, you could make an agreement with your buddy that you would have some sort of check-in procedure you would go through before going to the bathroom to make sure you were "feeling strong". You could institute some kind of semi-transparent curtain that obscures details but gives enough information to tell your buddy if you are PMO-ing or not, use this with the shower and maybe even the toilet. Nights would be tricky since obviously your buddy would have to sleep but I have been able to think of a few workarounds here too: your buddy could wait until you fall asleep to fall asleep themselves and then you could both wake up with an alarm clock (obviously you would have to sleep in the same room for this to work). Alternatively, you could lock up with some sort of chastity device at night. Alternatively, you could have multiple buddies who take shifts so someone really does watch you at night.

    This may sound extreme but I do feel like it would be very effective, and worth the trouble if you are serious about rebooting and struggling to do it in other ways. Even if you are very badly addicted and have very poor self-control, you won't PMO in front of another person, esp. when that other person's job is to discourage you from PMO.

    From my point of view, such a system would fill a pretty large and well-defined need. When people are struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction, they often find it helpful to spend some time in a place where they won't be tempted/able to do the drug/alcohol. There is a whole rehab industry for this reason. Having a place where it is hard if not impossible to do drugs helps people get through the withdrawal and early recovery phase where the cravings are especially bad and one's self-control is likely especially poor. Rehab centers exist for sexual issues too and they actually kind of almost do something like this but in my understanding it is something they only do temporarily, in rare cases, for people who are REALLY struggling. But why limit this to a temporary thing for a few people who are having a particularly hard time in an institution someplace? Why not use this sort of approach to help anyone who might be struggling to meet their goals?

    Personally I believe that there is a huge amount of untapped potential in this idea of leveraging the fact that people don't PMO in front of each other. I think that there is widespread need for this sort of support, and that having it be longer term can only help. It would be ideal if the person could come to you and adapt to your life, too, instead of your needing to halt your life and go to some kind of facility.

    Obviously this wouldn't be a permanent solution to anybody's problem with PMO (it wouldn't be intended to be a permanent thing), but the beauty of such an approach is that your brain would rewire significantly during this period, so when your buddy leaves (in 3 months, or a year, or however long) you will have weathered the worst of the withdrawal and would likely be far more stable and well-adjusted at the neurological level, and therefore much more likely to be able to maintain ongoing sobriety by yourself/with a recovery community.

    The reason there is such a need for something like this in my view is that with PMO, the "drug" is attached to your body. As someone who has dealt with drug addiction, I know that it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to break a drug addiction when the drug is literally RIGHT THERE, either a few feet or a half dozen paces away. I don't have the data to prove this, but I'm pretty sure most people get sober when they RUN OUT of drugs/alcohol, and thus no longer have it right on hand. But as you all know, with PMO, the "drug" is always RIGHT THERE... there is no significant buffer of space or time to protect you. So it makes sense to me that for this addiction, artificially creating an immediate buffer like this would be extremely helpful if not actually necessary for recovery.

    Do people see the value in this sort of approach that I see? Would people here be interested in doing something like this with a buddy, or in paying to receive such a service? This is just a hypothetical thing (for now, anyways) but I'm just curious if others see the potential here that I see. Let me know!
  2. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Would I pay you to lay beside me watching me to make sure I'm asleep, and not wackin it under the covers?....I don't think so, no.
    If anyone was willing to pay for this I'm pretty sure it's because they've developed some kind of fetish for it.

    I think a less costly (in terms of man hours) way to do this, is to just stick the addicted person in a jail cell with his hands all wrapped up in bandages. No computer. Can't wack it all bandaged up.

    But then, the person would spend their days stretching and getting more flexible, and within a few weeks, they'd be wackin it with their feet. So you'd have wrap their feet up too. Then they'd get flexible other ways, and we'd have to put a gag ball in their mouth. In the end, there is no question, we'd have to drug them.

    If some regulatory agency sent inspectors around, I'd imagine we'd get some kind of fines when they found our customers all dazed, straightjacketed and gagged, laying in their cells.

    It would seem we'd have to set this place up in some region of the world with no institutional conventions. But that ain't where the money is.

    ...Another option, is to just get rid of your damn computer for a few months.

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