Words of a Wounded Warrior

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by occams_razor, Jan 4, 2019.

  1. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    I'm somewhere in month 4 now and I have recently discovered I can make objects levitate. Like I can make a plate with spaghetti float 30 cm above the table. Now my girlfriend didn't really like that because it was her plate and when it came down her white dress suddenly had this red splattery pattern, but still, it's pretty cool. Together with the infra-red vision I developed on day 43 and the ability to make these really difficult origami figures I think I will be approached by some secret agency pretty soon.

    On a more serious note: good to hear that there is so much progress!
     
  2. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    "If all men were to bring their miseries together in one place, most would be glad to take each, his own, home again, rather than take a portion out of the common stock."

    In other words, better the devil you know?

    (I don't mean P. That's one devil that you don't want anything to do with)
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2019
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  3. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    This is great! I also have seen a disappearance of PIED. I remember back in 2015, it would not go away even if I went without porn for a couple of weeks (I had to wait until day 70 or so on my first run). Great work. You are an inspiration.
     
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  4. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    I had a slip on day 13, I think. I suffered a mood swing that was probably triggered by some stressful stuff. Acting out provided very little relief even while doing it.

    I'm on day 2 now I guess, but I'll concentrate on other things rather than the day count.
     
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  5. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    I am right there with you, messing up last night. Dammit. Anyway the best thing we can do is try to learn from the experience. Onward!
     
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  6. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    A partial slip today unfortunately. I looked at a chat room and a P-sub or two.

    Apart from that I've been doing okay considering various things that are going on and not sleeping well and so on and so forth.
     
  7. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    Something I wrote earlier:

    I keep having dreams about women and then I'm more tempted to act out afterwards.

    A couple of times recently I've been out walking and I suddenly get dodgy thoughts.


    Now:

    I had a reset to a chat room today. I think totally quitting chat rooms has to be my biggest priority as far as the addiction goes. I started a thread last month where I talked about this in more detail, as well as similar things such as dating sites. I was going to say I haven't used a dating site yet this year. That's true, although I have glanced at some "personal ads", although luckily almost no one posts there any more.

    (Edit - I did briefly use a specific kind of dating site early this year. It was rubbish)

    https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/chat-rooms-dating-sites-etc.117336/

    I might set up a dreaded counter now. If I so much as peek at a chat room, the counter gets reset. The same goes for dating sites and personal ads, although hopefully that won't be an issue.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019 at 5:05 PM
  8. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    “The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”

    Alan Watts
     
  9. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Member

    Hey something I've been wondering about for some time. For me porn equals x rated videos. Going by my definition of porn you have been "porn free" I think for quite a long time. Were videos/pictures ever an issue for you or was it always chat rooms/Ads that you have had problems avoiding? If you once had problems with more "traditional porn" (pics/vids) how did you get away from it?

    I ask because I have relapsed to non hardcore materials in the past (like an r-rated scene) but I have almost immediately gone back to X rated material afterwards. This seems to not be the case for you.


    Thanks.
     
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  10. occams_razor

    occams_razor Active Member

    I did avoid all porn sites for about seven months maybe. Then one night I decided to have a quick "peek". What I saw was very harmless and could almost be described as a P-sub. However, it was very drug-like and one of my bicep muscles started twitching lol. That twitching had happened two or three times in my life before, but not as a result of porn use. And those times it quickly went away. This time it was happening off and on for a few days! Very weird. I should have mentioned this in my journal. I think I mentioned it to an accountability partner (I don't have an accountability partner at the moment. Maybe I'm not suited to having one).

    I've watched very little porn since. I usually reset to P-subs and/or chat rooms.

    We all know how P-subs are everywhere these days. It's probably been this way for a long time, but the influence of porn has taken things to an extreme it seems. Also there's a reaction against some harmful old shame-based attitudes. Unfortunately the reaction probably hasn't done any good and the shame remains, more or less.

    In some ways I'm very turned off by things that are exclusive to porn. I'm sure I could easily go back to being turned on by that stuff though.

    Yes, videos and pictures were certainly an issue for me. I often combined looking at porn and P-subs with chat rooms. You could compare that to mixing hard drugs.

    You say "Ads". Maybe that's a typo? Perhaps you mean Apps. Of course, ads as in advertisements could often be described as P-subs. I've been avoiding ads as much as possible for many years anyway.

    There are a couple of books which I think helped change my attitude to "traditional porn". One is HackBookEasyPeasy or whatever the proper name is lol:
    https://sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/home


    Another, perhaps even more helpful book is "Never Binge Again", even though it's aimed at binge eaters.
    https://neverbingeagain.com/index.php/main/readerbonuses


    I'll try and talk more about what's helped me in the next post or two. Of course I've still got lots of progress to be made in this and other areas.
     

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