Hi there: I want to begin this topic. I have yet to see it in very many places and I wish there was a serious medical study on this, but giving up Porn and MBing does have a physical withdrawal similar to withdrawing from narcotics and prescription pills. I find myself very angry and grumpy. Last night, I went to the grocery store and when I finished I was walking to the door. Standing in front of me, was an older couple blocking the exit because they were checking their receipt. I said, "Excuse me!" But inside I wanted to shout, "What in God's name is wrong with you? Get the $#@! out of the way!" I am not at all condoning this attitude. I am just saying this is my response. It is now 5:15 a.m. as I write this and I have been up since about 4:15 a.m. Also, a minor bit of miscommunication with a co-worker has become an internal obsession that I keep checking my Facebook messenger to see if they responded to my message to clear things up. This is something that will be solved on its own, but I keep obsessing over it. My other fear (besides exploding on someone) is the obsessiveness that comes with not "acting out" (as we say in S.A.A.), but I find that images of videos I have seen are randomly popping up in my head. I also will find myself getting aroused in the oddest areas possible, like I will be looking at joggers or random women walking their dogs. Simply, because I have not had a release in over a week, grumpiness, obsessiveness, random arousals and little bouts of insomnia have crept in. I am doing what I can to discuss it and just be aware of it. Hopefully in day or so some sort of mental equalibrium (sp?) will kick in and some of this obsessiveness will kick in. For now, I will just document this here. Thanks! Don
Lol....been there and got through it.......feels like your going insane ! ...I'm coming close to 90 days now and once you can clear your head ...which will happen in a few months ...yes a few months ...it gets easier and you wonder why you ever did it in the first place...at least that's what I'm finding...I was also a previous gambler many years ago and had to get treatment for it..mainly poker machines ect....it's the visual and audio that causes your brain to spike up and down instead of an even keel ..and once your in that mode it can take weeks to get out of it,..I'm presuming it's the same for porn and your brain is all over the place....as for ogling women ...that's hard but will lessen in time...someone on here said to apply the 2 second rule and then look away to train yourself.also I done the 5.15am routine where I'm struggling to get to sleep and thoughts going around in my head...it will go.....mine did....get an interest ...me I started swimming ....then you get to meet other people and they want a chat just as much as you do and then you can get some sort of normality and fitness to boot ...best of luck Brian
I find myself being a bit more aggressive than usual. And by a bit I mean a lot! I think it can be attributed to testosterone finding its way back into your system. But I'm not a doctor or scientist so what do I know? But yeah, I'm right there with ya!
Thanks so much! Oddly, one of the things I have found myself doing is taking up jogging. I am not a jogger, but for some reason, I did this yesterday and I am feeling some positive effects a tonight! However, today I was laying in bed and I realized something about my job that concerned and then I let my mind wander in fantasy. I was able to get my mind back, but I notice that I reach out - in my mind - to these common tools to help me deal with fear. But again, I am trying to let it go. We will see what happens. Thanks again for posting!!
We're withdrawing from a behavior that altered the chemicals in our body multiple times a day. We're teaching our brains a whole new way of thinking. It's a real climb up Everest. I think there are a lot of similarities in withdrawals, but we all have our own symptoms that emerge. I know after about a week of not acting out, I get really wiggy and tense. What makes it even worse is "edging" as I get myself all worked up in fantasy and then realize I can't MO. In a perfect world, those urges remind me that sex with my wife would be a good thing, and if the timing is right, that's an option, but if not, I have to live with my anxious, edgy self and stay vigilant. It's an ongoing dance, but they say that we do reach a point where the symptoms fade and then we are mostly just working to keep our addiction at bay, but not having to wage constant war with a lot of the ugly emotions that come up. Looking forward to that. A lot of people say the urges subside when they've truly rebalanced. Others talk about it like it's a daily struggle. I hope (for you and all of us) that it's a journey that eases over time.
I have relapsed many times when trying just to do 90 days without porn. Always I think it has been due to my just feeling like I can't sleep or I just need to take the edge of my nerves and anxiety. It is a real addiction and really challenging to get through the first couple of months...
Okay I relapsed about a week or so ago and I am starting back up again! Today I noticed I had a nasty headache after 24 hours. My goal is to begin this all over again! I did 21 days, I can do it again! Thanks so much!
You can do it, DS8. My recent symptoms seem to be real anxiousness. Reactions to stress that are more exaggerated than usual, and I was already a stress monkey. I've removed my primary coping mechanism and my body/mind craves an outlet. Since fapping is out, I guess I could…I dunno…build a life-size replica of the Pyramids.
