Day 17.... Great day at work. Only had a one awkward moment but I don’t think this is going to mess with me too much. My department is making a calendar and the photographer came by to get a shot of my buddy on the fire truck. After he took the shot he stuck around to chat telling us about different girls he photoed and how hot they were. Then he said he photoed a playboy model before she was with playboy and I didn’t recognize the name sooooo he immediately pulled up a pic on his phone to show me. So I did see porn but I’m not really counting it he did it on his phone and forced it on me. I thought it a little weird that he showed me this but I’m good guys I didn’t get any cravings after seeing it. It’s funny that a guy I don’t know would tell me all these things about girls he took pics of and how hot they are. Maybe it’s just when guys are among guys we try to validate ourselves to fit in and be one of the guys instead of being ourselves. I’m totally guilty of this. Depending on who I am hanging with is what personality your getting. Like a chameleon I change to my surroundings. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I was just myself and I feel I’m slowly finding out who that is. The crazy thing is I’m trying to figure out who that is. Being in an addiction I’ve lost my sense of self. It’s like meeting a new person. Here’s to another guys keep moving forward.