... When you're really ready, you'll know it...

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by TriGuy60, Sep 5, 2017.

  1. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Hi TriGuy60. Thanks for posting in my journal. I love your attitude, no hesitation, going for it right from the get-go. You seem very motivated, which is a key ingredient to succeed. Wishing you continued strength in all your endeavors, triathlon, sobriety and more.
     
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  2. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    It's all relative fcj... Back in 2007 what you describe is pretty much me... Jogging 2-3 miles and wondering if I could ever run 5 miles! That seemed such a long way... I probably spent more time lifting then anything, but I've tried to stay active most of my life...

    The 'tri-bug' seed had been planted around 1990 or so when at a wedding I overheard a conversation about it... Swim-bike-run? I suck equally at each one of them... neg+neg+neg= positive? :confused: Anyway that seed had an opportunity to start growing in 2007... By early 2008 I was searching for a bike, with the goal of doing a sprint distance tri by the end of the year... I wound up doing 2:D... (btw, I was last out of 20 or so in my age group my first race.)

    Somewhere along the way I made it a goal to do a half-iron distance race bye the time I turned 55, and a full ironman bye the time I turned 60... Accomplishing those goals required consistency, and a plan!

    I figure consistency and a plan are just as important in staying PMO free... My plan is to get up every morning and tell porn it will not win today. Today I choose to stay away from you... I will consistently do that every morning. It must be done in the morning to set that resolve as I don't know if I will be tested throughout the day... I must be prepared as I will be tested... Of that I have no doubt...

    But it's consistency that eventually wins... And then 5 miles don't look so far away:cool:
     
  3. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    This is a great story TriGuy60!... really. I wonder if your reduced PMO use will positively affect your athletic performance. When I boxed and played a very high level of football in my youth coaches were adamant we not be intimate with girlfriends or whack off before games or boxing tournaments. Most of us just laughed it off as outdated thinking.
     
  4. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Haha... One can only 'hope'.:rolleyes:

    Although I'm kinda looking for all the positivity I can get today... Best not to look at what the women worn on the Emmy red carpet... Rapidly scrolling through the images - AV brain looking for 'that-one'... Fucking shit!.

    So ya, a few light urges today to look at some P or P-subs anyway... Realized it and moved one... Came in here and read around a bit, then went for a nice walk... I like walking. That's a good thing because as I age I'll probably do more and more of it for 'training':eek:... If someone asks me for exercise/diet advice, I tell them to buy a good pair of shoes and start walking... KISS... keep-it-simple-stupid...

    I'm kissin' today... Just not going to look at porn... That's pretty fucking simple.:cool:
     
  5. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I like this, but I would write stupid "stoopid." This would indicate to me that I'm not actually stupid, just acting that way. Gentle self-mocking you might say.

    Love your attitude!
     
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Absolutely, it's super simple -- not easy when the wires of your lizard brain are trying to pull you out of executive consciousness...but simple.

    One moment at a time, there is no other way to deal with addiction than one moment at a time, one moment, then the next, and the next. When you're in the moment you'll see it all in your mind's eye, every thought, the process which leads to success and failure.

    Your lizard brain will do everything in it's power to take you out of being fully conscious. It thinks it's doing you a favor.
     
  7. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Sept 18th, 2017... WTF!!!

    That was my last post. Guess we know what happened:rolleyes:... I came here an hour or so ago and began lurking 'again'... I was getting ready to feed my porn addiction its breakfast... But my dick has been lifeless for a few days. Was I really going to try to bring it back to life via porn? Yep... But something drew me back to this site... This thread... I'm tired right now. Tired of porn... But it's really such an insidious drug... But I think I'll not look at any for the rest of the day... Maybe I'll wash my car instead...
     
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  8. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Wow, yeah, it's been awhile for you. Let today be the start of something awesome. You know what, it already is! You came here and that shows a deep desire to find yourself. Great job, bro'!
     
  9. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Good to see you back---- this is great--- you know the drill !
     
  10. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    That is so good.
    The higher part of you is still coming through Though beat up your still rising
     
  11. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Yeah... The couple of times I returned and read a few journals, you weren't around so I just moved on... You're like the 'wise-old-man' of the grey beards...

    I'll be working up some good rants at some point... Right now it's just staying away from porn... Which I've accomplished for another day... Woo-Hoo!
     
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  12. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    Good idea! We all need a plan in dealing with addiction. Welcome back. I am back too after a long absence.
     
  13. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Well Hell's bells. Here's Tommy again... Let's see what happens this time... Just getting password reset, and wrapping my head around the idea of giving up porn. I'll write out a rant at some point, but for now just looking to get to bed 'sober'... Fucking stupid porn.
     
  14. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Almost 6 months since my last post. (not counting yesterdays)... 6 months and found my thread on page 2? Only on page 2! Thought I'd be a 'page 3' guy anyway:rolleyes:... Where are all the individuals who should admit porn is an addiction and be seeking support? (That's a rhetorical question.) I wasn't delusional when I thought I could beat this shit, was I... Maybe... Pulling my pud has been a part of my life almost every day since I was just a little squirt. But up until a couple decades ago I didn't have porn at my fingertips... Thing is, I can still recall why I wanted so badly to get my first computer - So I could get online and have easy access to, Yep, nekid girlies... Is the internet the devil? Fucking Al Gore...

    Kinda of just a rambling rant as I'm tired. (brain fog) Sill avoiding porn for a second day, so I guess I got that... Get to bed sober... One day at a time...
     
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  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sounds like this is your time. Life isn't waiting for anyone, as you know.
     
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  16. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    We are here! Time to move on !
     
  17. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Thanks for the visits @Saville and @Bobo... Yes life waits for know-one and it's time to move on...

    Just a quick check-in before getting on my new bike trainer. Finally got a 'smart' trainer and kicked the 'dumb' one to the curb... Actually I just put it in a garage closet... The smart trainer is awesome. I mainly got it to start training with power and some other stats it will provide, but eventually I'll probably get on a site like Zwift to virtually ride with others. (J-C!!! probably another addiction waiting to happen:mad:)... Also did a little swim earlier... Ah the life of a TriGuy...

    All's good on the porn front today. Had a little temptation after the wife left for work today... But that's just habit... Wife leaves, check email, read a few news stories, visit a couple other sites I follow, then spend the next couple hours looking for that 'special' clip to have an intimate relationship with... The bazaar 'this-one"...No... The 'next-one' will be better! Just Fucking insane! Cum already! Nope just a little bit more dopamine and then I'll get to the climax... (maybe I could have made it to the edging Olympics:rolleyes:)... Then it's 'what the fuck' 'where did that time go'... Talk about a good way to be unproductive...

    Not today though. Fuck that... I'm going to expel that desire right out of me with a good 90 minute push...

    Fuck porn...
     
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  18. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Fatigue... Frekin' fatigue... It really sucks that fatigue is probably my main withdrawal symptom. From booze, from pot, from coffee, (headache too w/ coffee.) and now porn... I'm just dragging. Not exactly beneficial for a guy with a race next month:eek:... But this too shall pass... Is porn itself addictive? Or has the access to high-speed internet it made it addictive? Tomato/Toma'to... Maybe the internet just speeds up the process...

    But the withdrawal is real... And it sucks.

    Fuck porn...
     
  19. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I think it's addictive. Hi speed and smartphones has just VASTLY improved the delivery system:eek:
     
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  20. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    Tru dat @Boxer17... But then, people are now showing signs of addiction toward their phones due to the 'delivery system'... My wife would be one of them. Only she likes looking at dresses:rolleyes:... No matter, porn definitely fits the 'addiction' profile for me... And me is all I care about at the moment.

    Not tempted to test myself - Yet... But I know AV devil is laying in wait for me... Fucking prick...

    Fuck porn...

    PS (AV=Addictive Voice)
     

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