When quitting porn alone doesn't do anything...

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Deleted User, May 17, 2019.

  1. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Porn addiction fucked up my libido pretty bad, to the point where I don't know what's like to actually want a woman sexually. I've been like this for 5 years, I stopped watching porn 2 years ago and I still don't have any libido left.

    I'm fully committed to never watching porn again, not even fantasizing, but it's not a magic sauce that solves everything (from my experience). What libido booster do you suggest I use? I also suffer from PDD which worsens my sex drive. I've heard about Wellbutrin and it's possible benefits in that aspect, but what supplements do you suggest I use?

    Again, quitting porn was not a magic bullet for me, there're obviously deeper issues I need to resolve.
     
  2. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    I suppose my own situation is similar. Except I've still used porn pretty damn recently.

    You seek a 'libido booster'. Hmm. Why not a libido lessener? Why not go monk-mode, so to speak?

    My libido is too high to be comfortable monk. But not fired up enough to comfortably push me to boldly approach women (even in an online dating context). So I'll be uncomfortable either way. I just gotta choose, and take action.

    Try that for a libido booster: action. (Are you dating?)
     
  3. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    I have no problem whatsoever in approaching women and asking them on dates, the thing is (as I said) I always fail at maintaining a relationship because my libido is dead. I don't need a libido lessener because I have no libido, I need it to become normal again, I hate feeling like I'm chemically castrated...
     
  4. DoneAtLast

    DoneAtLast Well-Known Member

    Did you quit masturbation too? I've heard on these boards stories about how people quit porn but don't get any of the promised rebooting benefits, and it is often because they keep more or less the same masturbation schedule, just without porn. For whatever reason (I have my theories, but I won't go in too deep), if someone only ever masturbated they'd be better off, but since they're coming off of a porn addiction, they need to get rid of it all in order to properly reboot.

    It is also worth noting that a proper reboot DOES reorient what your libido looks like. Imagine you're obese and living on junk food. You go on a diet, it is successful, and you lose a bunch of weight. In the process, your taste buds change, and provided you don't deliberately change your actions, you don't crave the junk food in the same way any more. Porn is similar. When we get it out of our lives, we don't crave sexual stimulation in the same way because we're not feeding it in the same way. If you fantasized about kinky 3-somes with midgets and a giraffe while watching porn but don't want it now, consider it a bonus to rebooting. It brings me back to the first question too, because continued masturbation without porn can leave you in a weird limbo state where the porn stuff doesn't appeal, but your most genuine appetites haven't redeveloped amidst it yet.
     
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  5. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    Quitting just porn won't help much until you stop fapping aswell for at least 90 days.
     
  6. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    I only fap like once a month with fantasy, if anything at all
     
  7. Perigee

    Perigee Active Member

    Maca, tribulus, longjack, horny goat weed, ashwagandha, panax ginseng, NO boosters, and zinc are all the ones I know of. Some of these do have actual evidence for raising libido, especially maca. Zinc is the most effective at raising T.

    Daily low dose cialis is effective too since it will make you have stronger erections which indirectly increases libido for obvious reasons.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
  8. A97CU4ca

    A97CU4ca New Member

    I've found that arginine gets me going. There are brands out there that are more effective than others (I tried many). I don't want to seem like a peddler on the forum, but if you are interested, I can check the name.
     
  9. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    I quit porn for 3.5 years, and had a 9 month no MO streak at one point. But during that time, I experienced very limited healing. My cravings for porn were still massive. My sexual tastes didn't change much.

    I think it was because of three issues: I was extremely stressed out, had very poor coping mechanisms, and used caffeine as a substitute for porn.

    You really have to manage your stress and pain well if you want to heal. If life is always kicking your ass, you'll want to use porn. I'm still struggling with this.

    Edit: sorry, maybe this doesn't really answer your question.
     
  10. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    OP, I would be going to a GOOD anti-aging doctor who's whole life is male HRT (hard to find), not an endocrinologist, and getting a your hormone levels checked. You can try things that Perigree noted or something like cordyceps, but I wouldn't expect it to be some miracle. Especially anything that says it can increase testosterone naturally, that's BS. Look at hormones.
    Are you on antidepressants?
    Have you ever been on finasteride?
    Do you get strong morning wood? Have you ever?

    Caesura - This paper shows that caffeine actually increases D2 dopamine receptor availability, which is exactly what we want to heal. Also, the only time I sucessfully rebooted was when I was so stressed out I was suicidal all day every day for a very long time and if I was in the same situation again I would feel the same way. So I just don't think stress plays any role in rebooting, IMO. And when I did reboot and didn't watch porn or Jerkit for a good year straight, afterwards my sexual tastes didn't change either, at all. I was still a total perv but my dick could get rock hard just from fantasizing about kissing etc, things that wouldn't have ever worked before. I find the feeling you get fiending for porn vs actual horniness is a completely different feeling, the latter being aggressive and positive, a feeling you never EVER get if you watch a lot of porn/jerkoff.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4462609/
     
  11. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    So you used similar methods to me, and you got similar results. And our results are both worse than what many other users described. But somehow this is evidence that our way of recovering works? That doesn't sound right.

    Caffeine addiction has been a nightmare for me, so I will definitely be quitting. I do understand that some people can tolerate it well. And I still suspect that managing my stress and pain will be key to getting the best results for porn recovery.
     
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  12. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Of course in general managing stress and pain are vital for overall health, all I was saying was it didn't seem to effect rebooting for ME, as I doubt it would be possible to be more cured than I was. I'm not sure how you got the idea it wasn't successful for me. If you mean sexual tastes not changing, I don't really think that happens, the pathways will always be there, it's just after rebooting you can get very turned on by very tame things like kissing or being near attractive girls, or just being horny and getting erections while not even thinking about sex or anything, that's rebooted to me. The sexual tastes one has garnered throughout ones life stay forever, for me at least. And that doesn't bother me a bit, I'm not shackled by shame monkey religious beliefs or anything, I am simply trying to beat PIED.
    Also, if caffeine affects you negatively then of course don't use it. I also can only handle a very small amount, I can't drink coffee at all just a bit of tea. There are other substances that increase dopamine receptor availability, I think using those that have some science behind them would be a no brainer for anyone trying to beat PIED. I really think a lot of people should be experimenting with these and other more exotic substances within reason and maybe we can find something or a stack that shaves months off recovery, wouldn't that be fantastic.
    Here's a few.
    https://area1255.blogspot.com/2016/06/10-supplements-to-increase-dopamine.html
     
  13. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi jorgetheman, thanks for posting. I am two years 11 months no PMO and I can relate to some extent to your issues as I find that porn has warped my sexuality. It has turned me more into a voyeur of women rather than actually craving the experience of sex. However this is because I haven't had the opportunity to re-wire in a real relationship yet. I am also not turned off by the idea of having sex, it is just an act that seems alien to me at the moment as I am a virgin and not in a relationship. I therefore do have a libido of sorts.

    As for improving your situation, I recommend cutting out masturbation entirely, especially the sexual fantasy which can be detrimental to recovering from a porn addiction. Research has shown that the mind cannot tell much of a difference between sexual fantasy and porn. If you starve yourself of orgasms too I will be surprised if your libido doesn't return. Over my recovery, I went on a brief mindful masturbation experiment (involving no fantasy) and found that I wasn't very interested in women either. However, with two months no MO again, I feel super sexual at times.

    Always good to find another long term rebooter, Caesura.:) I would be interested in checking out your journal to study your journey if you have one . Wise words about managing stress and pain. We have to learn to gain emotional sobriety as well as physical sobriety from our addiction to live with ourselves better and enter effective recovery.
     
  14. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    I believe I can identify two possible issues with your case.

    1. Orgasm frequency
    2. Rewiring

    Outstanding that you've quit porn for 2+ years but I would very seriously look at your fapping habits. Obviously, for any standard guy 1x/month frequency is unheard of but unfortunately we're not standard guys. Fapping is very very strongly tied with our porn pathways and at least some of that porn circuitry will light up when we fap with or without fantasy.

    Remember, recovery is a two part process; rebooting and rewiring. After all this time without porn you've fundamentally rebooted. You've 'unlearned porn' in a sense. Now you need to 'learn intimacy' which is where your libido will begin to wake back up as you train your brain to be aroused by Women.

    If I were you I'd try get a good no O streak under your belt, 2-4 months and from there try to rewire.

    And this is the hard part.. Finding a partner who will understand your case. Quite frankly I don't believe a Women needs to know everything about you - all you need to tell her is that you have a medical condition and orgasms give you headaches or something. Who knows maybe you tell her you used to take SSRI's and they messed you up. Who knows man, maybe this means you set up a tinder/dating account and state that you're just looking for something with platonic-intimacy. Just get as much 'body-time' as possible, hugging while watching a movie, kissing and more.. I would avoid orgasm though. Gary has stated that the worst thing we can do is edge with porn - it's the activity which trains the brain the most. It's a vague memory but I think it applies to real intimacy as well.. If you can be sexual with a girl without ejaculating you're getting two benefits - longer/intense training/rewiring and you're avoiding negative symptoms associated with orgasm. After some time of this rewiring start to introduce orgasm and see how it affects you. I know of a few guys who went through a LONG process of basically complete abstinence and then months of rewiring with a partner while limiting orgasm (40new30 has a good journal, fugu, Gabe and a couple others).

    I'm curious to know, just how much rewiring have you done?

    As for supplements I'm not convinced taking multiple adaptogens at once is a good idea.

    - Maca. Considered the top libido supplement - just MAKE SURE you get maca in a gelatinzied form and don't bother with 1-2 pills from some OTC bottle. Take 5g of powder per day, 5-7 days of the week.

    - Horny Goat weed. Is good but it's best to only take it 1-2 hours before sexual activity. It has some similar effects to viagra. If you buy some look for a product which is high in 'icariins', preferably 20%<

    That's really all you need. Maca will boost your libido through unknown mechanisms. Horny goat weed acutely helps prevent breakdown of arousal neurotransmitters. NO supplements are fine but if you're healthy and fit you won't need them.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2019
  15. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    Doper, have you actually tried reducing stress and quitting coffee for several months, to see if it diminishes your tastes? It didn't sound like you had. It's kind of like saying, "I don't think exercise gives you more endurance, because I never exercise, and my endurance is terrible."

    There are many anecdotal reports of people's porn fetishes going away, and iirc, Gary Wilson has collected some studies that support this. But you seem to think your own anecdotal report trumps all of that. Why?

    People on here have a tendency to over-rely on anecdotes, personal experience, and speculation, and I'm no stranger to that temptation. Ultimately, this is something that should be answered with controlled scientific research.

    Freedom From Servitude, I do have a journal here, but it's neither interesting nor very helpful for others. I have been mostly failing in a "dry drunk" sort of way. It's a long story, full of frustration, where not much improves.
     
  16. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    Doper, I hope that my tone did not come off as harsh. I am trying to disagree in a friendly way, but sometimes I don't succeed at that.
     
  17. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    For me no PMO also didnt erase my fetishes. It is just that I have no DE anymore and I am very sensitive to vanilla stuff as well.
    Basically more sensitive to any stimuli. Which paves the way for a "normal" relationship.
     
  18. Caesura

    Caesura Member

    Even if 50 people came into this thread to say, "My fetishes didn't heal either," that wouldn't be scientifically conclusive. Furthermore, it probly wouldn't come close to the number of success stories where people DID heal their fetishes.

    Stories on YBOP make both claims all the time, but no one ever seems to think, "Hmm, some people heal from the fetishes and some don't. Wonder what the difference is?" Instead they just think their personal story means either "No one recovers from the fetishes" or "Everyone recovers from the fetishes."
     

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