What the fuck am I doing?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Coma White, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    3.5 years for me.

    Thousands of relapses i still fall for simple mistakes. You just have to keep trying to change.
     
  2. lanister

    lanister Member

    Pls safe your life and quit porn forever.
    Do one month cold showers every morning to strentghen your willpower. (Theres no excuse not doing this.)
     
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Four years fighting hard and still I have relapsed hard at times too, the last major binge was early 2015 and lasted three months. I also binged for about two weeks around the holidays and then for a week about a month ago.

    You're not alone, and you shouldn't feel like you've failed, but you should keep looking for new methods to try and also add into your life, positive stuff.

    I have a number of people in my life that suffer from other addictions, one guy is a serious alcoholic and cocaine abuser. He goes off and on, into rehab and out of it. Please don't be discouraged, beating addiction isn't easy, that's why we all need loads of help and support.

    Feel better, man.
     
  4. Coma White

    Coma White ·★ ғar вeyond тнe ѕυn ★·

    I'm the last person you can ever expect to play the victim. In fact if you haven't noticed I said how mad I am at myself for getting into this mess in the first place, and for staying in this mess even though I know what I'm doing to myself more than 10 times in the OP. Being mad at society for having become a pile of shit has nothing to do with my inability to stay away from said shit, even if the two are directly related.

    I agree with all this, and I'm a big fan of the Slight Edge. But on the religion part, I don't have a problem with believing in myself, or the universe's power to influence my future, but I'm not a believer in the cliche sense of an all-loving christian god. I don't like to believe my fate is in the hands of some higher being overlooking my life, especially since I've never had any proof of this, and I only ever saw proof of the opposite. But I do believe in some sort of higher power, I do believe there's more than meets the eye. I have nothing against christians or any other practicioners of an religion though, except for the ones that try to force their religion on me.

    Society is blood-sucking device, made to look pretty so you don't resist it as it sucks you up and leaves you an empty shell in the end. Good people still exist out there though, they're just hard to find nowadays, mostly because we all constantly have our defenses up and we're always suspicious of the ones around us, and afraid to open up, so it's hard to tell the good ones from the bad ones.

    I agree, apathy is not the answer. You have to be aware of what's going on around you, your little bubble is not indestructible, and if you try to live in it and ignore everything on the outside, when it bursts you'll be feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. You have to be conscious, and fight for what you believe in. The moment you give that up, you've already lost.

    I'm very glad to hear you've been doing good. Everything is working out after all, and I'm sure things will only get better and better. I hope your "prophecy" about me comes true, and you know I wish the same for you. If I ever need someone to talk, I won't think twice about shooting you a pm. Thanks again for everything.

    It's my experience as well, that after long streaks and good times, the relapses seem to hit you that much worse. That's why reading about other people's pains sometimes is important, it reminds you of the ugly place you've been, and motivates you to keep moving forward against difficulties and hardships.

    I really hope you never give up again man, and no matter how hard it seems, always keep on fighting, and you will emerge victorious in the end. Thank you very much for your help, I appreciate it, and I wish you the best as well.

    I can relate to what you said about porn being a government plot. I've often felt that way as well, but whatever it is, it's not undefeatable. Anything can be done if you want it enough. I often like to think of porn as the ultimate test of will. If we're strong enough, we will prevail no matter how hard it is.

    I'm not sure man, but I think all addictions are bad habits, but not all bad habits are addictions. I'm not an expert on these things though, if someone else wishes to elaborate more, feel free to.

    I remember you from when I first made an account on this site. It's the simple mistakes that fuck me up as well. We just have to be more final in our decisions, and more careful of the small slip-ups that throw the whole train off the racks. Let's go at it with all our might, everything we have. Only the strong survive, and I think I want to survive man, don't you agree? ;)

    I always do cold showers man, the only kind of shower for me is a cold one, I've been doing that for more than a year now, and it's amazingly helpful. In fact, I had made a thread about this a couple of months ago or so. Thank you for the advice.

    I know man, it's not easy at all. It just makes me so damn man when I take steps back and erase progress I have already worked hard to achieve. Although it's normal that this thing probably isn't smooth sailing, and I'm gonna hit a lot of bumps in the road, I still think we shouldn't let anything be an excuse an always give it our 100%. I used to be addicted to drugs as well, but I did manage to quit, so I think I probably can quit this thing as well. What makes it really hard though, is that it's so easy to get, it's only 3-4 clicks away. One of the things that helped me quit drugs, is that getting them was a much bigger task than getting porn, if they were as available as porn, I don't know if I could've quit. But I know anything I can do anything if I want it bad enough, and that's true for all of us. So let's do this thing man, no more beating around the bush, time to leave it behind and truly live. :)
     
  5. lanister

    lanister Member

    Hey coma White

    I also do cold showers for over a year but my longest streak was about 50 days. On somedays ist rly hard and i doubt the benefit which leads me to take a warm pussyshower.

    After a cold shower i experience always good feelings, altough its very hard to build this habit as a daily routine. On some mornings i doubt if this is so beneficial because i cant point on the longterm benefit, altough i believe that its beneficial.

    Can you explain what benefits you gain from cold showers precise?

    PS: iam also playing the guitar and yngwie malmsteeen was fucking badass shredder!
     
  6. Coma White

    Coma White ·★ ғar вeyond тнe ѕυn ★·

    My longest streak was 54 days, so we're not much different. I personally never take a hot shower, it's become automatic for me to only take a cold shower at this point. I feel more alive after a cold shower, happier, more energetic. It is beneficial, there's no doubt about that man. You just have to do them no matter what, don't pussy out no matter how cold it is, it helps you build will power.

    P.S. He not only was, he still is haha. Nice to see another guitar player here! Rock on dude!
     
  7. lanister

    lanister Member

    youre right. now i will do a decent streak to break my record... because warm showers are for pussies who cant deal with cold ones.Thats the truth man. No excuse. Tired of taking warm showers to cuddle in my comfortzone after waking up and start the day being a pussy who is afraid of too cold water.

    no offense to people who take warm showers.. i mean it just motivational ;)
     

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