What is a normal libido?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Bilbo Baggins, Sep 23, 2020.

  1. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Active Member

    Well I know this question might sound weird, but I know some of you have not suffered from PIED all their lives. So I am asking: what are a normal libido and normal erection functions? I sometimes hear that you can get erections without stimulation on the penis, but to me it only makes sense if I am cuddling, dancing or kissing with a woman. Apart from that, and of course morning wood, I never get erections without stimulation. I am 32, so I am not a teen anymore. I don’t mind not having spontaneous erections. But I am wondering if normal men get them by just talking or interacting with a woman. @Guts , you always say you need no stimulation to get an erection. How does that happen? You don’t have sex or masturbate, and you avoid sexual fantasies. Any enlightenment on this would be very interesting for me.

    Also, if anybody has had a regular libido at some point in their lives, I would like to hear what they say about it. Either from guys who developed PIED later in their lives, after having a regular sex life, or from guys who recovered. I know @Doper and @Pete McVries could provide interesting things here.

    I have suffered from PIED from the start of my sex life, so I really have no clue on this. What does it all look like for a normal person in terms of arousal, libido, and on erections?

    Any inputs on this would be very appreciated.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2020
  2. Guts

    Guts Active Member Staff Member

    Go a long period without sex, masturbation, porn and any sexual stimulation to your penis and you'll see. I'm starting to get erections by just looking at a fully clothed womans face now.

    I have a question for you Bilbo, how long can you maintain your erection without physical stimulation?
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  3. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Active Member

    Thanks for your answer, Guts. Shit, I did not know that’s how it is for normal guys...
    I still am far from this in terms of libido and erections. Things have gradually improved in the last months, though very slowly. I think my erections would still fade quickly without stimulation at the moment. It’s too early for me, I guess. Been away from P and M for almost 6 months, but I only started avoiding orgasms when I reached the 4 month mark. I will keep doing this for a while, and will consider going no sex as well if necessary at some point.
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  4. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Well, I wrote somewhere on here about when I injured the fuck out of my dick and it hurt a lot (I cannot overstate how insane this situation was, DON'T INJURE YOUR DICK) and stayed that way for a very long time. The surgeon that fixed it said the spot was likely infected(under the skin), though we didn't biopsy the chunk of whatever he pulled out. That is when I was able to go full hard mode for about a year and a half, not because I had the willpower, but because if it got any worse I would have had to quit my job, and just lightly pressing the injured spot hurt like hell, so wackin it was utterly out of the realm of possibility. Who knows how many months into this I was totally cured, but I would be at work around girls in an absolute state of wanting to blow my brains out, all day every day. It's all I thought about. But even that being the case, and in constant pain even just if I got up from a chair, or any movement or whatever, just being around the girls I would get absolutely rock hard. This is without thinking about sex because I would completely block it out of my brain because when I got an erection it felt like the shit was fucking tearing and I thought erections were causing real damage. It was bad. But I think this illustrates that even though I didn't want the erections, they hurt like hell, and I sure wasn't thinking about sex, I just couldn't stop them poppin up. I don't think anyone is going to get to that point without at least several months of No Arousal. Not that it's necessary to get this cured, it isn't. But it illustrates what is possible. When I think about it I was getting many painful spontaneous erections every day, more in one day than I've probably had in the last year....which ain't many (...because I'm an idiot). This level of cured is not necessary and I don't think there is any reason in trying to attain it, if it means giving up real sexy time.
    Other things that I think will help are getting to a low body fat percentage, intermittent fasting, exercise, no alcohol or drugs. I think those things will work the same way in upregulating dopamine receptors (or whatever the hell it is...)

    edit: Another thing that I think shows you where on the spectrum of "cured" you are, is to think about, when you fantasize, what is it about. If I'm far from cured I'm thinking about absolutely depraved shit, and probably need to wack it to get hard. Likewise, you know you're in a good spot if you can just fantasize about making out with a chick, and your rock hard (without wackin it)......This to me is a nice, acceptable level of cured in my opinion.
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  5. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Active Member

    Thanks a lot, Doper. It ain’t the kind of questions we can ask to just anybody, I appreciate you took the time to answer.
    I just can’t believe how much I have fucked myself up through the years. Shit... I will sound naive, but I did not know that being ‘’normal’’ was that different than the state I have been in for so long. What Guts and you are describing is almost inconceivable to me, I did not suspect that a man could experiment those kind of feelings and bodily reactions. I am really amazed at what I just read.
    Guts likes this.
  6. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Same goes for me. Before the rise of tube sites, I already had a stash of around 100 dvdrips of full length porn movies burned on CD-Rs which I would watch before going to bed via my dvd player on my tube tv. That alone was enough to give me PIED and I was unable to get or maintain erections on my first few attempts to have sex...

    After rebooting (hard mode & no arousal), my sensitivity came back in full force after about only 90 days I would say. Nonetheless, my erections gradually became better with continious sex. When I met my now girlfried for the first time, we went on a walk for about three hours and after I brought her home, I felt like I was about to come in my pants. Just by talking... :rolleyes:. A few weeks before, I had a rock hard erection just by noticing a very nice butt of a pedestrian who was passing by.

    When we started to have sex after about 120 days into my reboot, I was very nervous at first and very anxious that my erection would fade like it always did. But that did not happen luckily. I have to mention though, that I used Tadalafil during the first few months as a scaffold. In the beginning I took 10mg which is the lowest active dose for immediate use. Because I had no problem getting and maintaining erections and because of the fact that I could have sex more than 48 hours after taking it (which is the maximum of Tadalafil being operant), I quickly lowered the dose to 5mg. When I spoke to my urologist about it all who was well-informed about my situation and who had prescribed me tadalafil beforehand, he assured me that I am not in need of it as 5mg is not operant for immediate use (it just works, if you take it daily) and because I was able to have sex long after 48 hours.

    I then proceeded continuing to have sex without tadalafil and I could not make out any difference. For all I know, the meds I took beforehand could have turned out to be placebos ;). It's truly fascinating. When I had PIED, even a very high dose of viagra would not do anything to my penis but make my blood boil, give me a blocked nose and make my face blush.

    I now consider myself fully recovered. I was even able to have sex being drunk a few weeks ago. There was only one time I failed to get an erection in more than a year of being sexually active and that was when I was going for a second round 5-10 minutes after having had an orgasm. Under normal circumstances, I don't have any problems at all anymore. Personally, I am extremely happy that I do not stress out anymore if I have an erection or not. I do not even pay attention to my erection or check if I have one when I am about to enter my gf because my dick is and was always erected in this situation.

    When you are recovered, I am quite sure that you will notice it. But it takes time and it also takes time to come to the conclusion that you are recovered. I needed quite a few succesful times of having sex before the new found confidence cemented. But since then it has become steadfast. Moreover, I want to add that erection quality differs for me. I am always hard enough to penetrate but on some days my erections seem to be harder or a bit weaker. I think this is absolutely normal and depends on numerous factors. Lastly, I want to add that I only have and had sex when I am in the mood which is usually about 2-4 times per week. I think it does not serve you well and perhaps may even yield bad results if you force yourself to have sex just for the sake of producing good erections. Putting pressure on yourself is poison for them. Unfortunately, this is a big hurdle for PIED guys especially in the beginning. You can count yourself lucky that you have an understanding girlfriend by your side :). In my mind, that is the best environment for someone with PIED to recover!

    A hundred times this! Man, you don't want to know how many truly disturbing porn dreams I had in the first 180 days of rebooting. They have completely vanished. I only got one recently in a time of really high stress which is kind of a funny phenomenon if you think about it, isn't it? Furthermore, when I fantasize about sex, I almost exclusively think about my girlfriend and the sex I am having with her. Of course, these fantasies might be a bit kinky here and there but it's nowhere near the fetish shit and high velocity compilations I used to ruin my mind with. It's another big piece of evidence that tells me that I have recovered fully. To be honest, I don't even know the last time I thought about watching porn. The fact, that I have also eliminated masturbation was very helpful, I fathom. Masturbating combined with porn is just a distant memory. Of course, I'm not invincible or unsusceptible of relapsing but if things stay this way, I am very confident that I have left porn for good.
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2020
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  7. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Active Member

    Thanks a lot, Pete. I really appreciate your input.
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