Hi there. I want to hear some advice from you fellas. Apparently I can't stop fantasizing porn scenes. I fantasize and edging at the same time. The imagery of my fantasy is very sexual and I just can't stop. Although I rarely ejaculate while doing it, this kind of thing causes me to relapse the next day. I don't know what else should I do to release this base instinct. I'm already being super-productive all day, but when it comes to sleeping, my brain is ready with tons of material to make those fantasies. What should I do to stop fantasizing?
That is actually quite hard, I have the same issue. Physical tiredness can be very helpful. To be so tired that you would fall asleep immediately. Do something to fall asleep as fast as you can
Yes, exercise during the day is good for falling asleep as well. I had a similar issue for years and I still struggle with it. You also have to "feed the right dog". Bear with me in this analogy: if you had a helpful, awesome dog in your house and also a violent, dangerous, alien monster dog in your house, you should make sure you're feeding the helpful dog rather than feeding the bad dog. Right? An evil alien like that needs to be starved until it can't wreak havoc anymore. What I'm talking about is your intake. I find the longer I go without looking at smut the less fuel I have for fantasy. The literature on P rebooting talks about stopping all P and P subs and PMO for a length of time to "reboot" your brain. Also yes, try to replace your bedtime habits and routines with helpful ones. You could read good books, Bible or good materials on rebooting, listen to podcasts or music, write in a journal, or even watch good shows/play games (without triggers) until you're too tired to stay awake. Works for me. You could start a project or a business hustle and earn money in that time rather than FMO. I've even worked on cleaning up my feeds so that I can scroll til I'm too tired for FMO, but from experience I don't love this option - social media is not great for one's mental state.
Thank you for the advice. The analogy really describes the "ideal self" and "monster self" dilemma. I agree with you. The less intake, the less fuel for fantasy. But, somehow I still struggle to limit the intake. I know if I keep watching, my life will ruin. I can't be the best version of myself. I really hate to admit that the alien monster that you are describing sometimes succeed to "persuade" me to watch again. Besides that, I'm quite disciplined regards to exercising. I guess physical tiredness is not a problem. Your idea about establishing good bed time habit is very challenging, but really worth it to try. My day is already super busy. So, I guess I must spare some time in the end of the day to calm my mind and body down. By the way, journaling and listening to podcast is a very good idea. I must try that.
Thank you for replying. Yeah, I agree. But, my body seems to be physically tired, but my mind isn't. The one thing that I haven't done I guess is to practice breathing exercise and meditation right before bed. I hope that will help.
Hey brunobilbo, How are things going now? Fantasies are a normal part of this process and it's important to try to not 'force' them out of your mind. Just accept them and think "these are just thoughts, they may be challenging, but that's okay". The less you look at porn the less these fantasies will appears.. They may slightly increase right in the beginning (maybe the first 2 months) but they will die down after that. Staying productive will be your best friend, it seems you're good at that. At night to make yourself tired, avoid screens for 2 hours before going to bed, trying reading of listening to an audiobook. Another thing you can try is 'Yoga Nidra', it's basically a body scan meditation. It may not work at first, but try it 30 minutes before bed for a couple of weeks;
