What does it feel like to get your libido back?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by MyUserName, Apr 13, 2012.

  1. MyUserName

    MyUserName New Member

    I'm 118 days into a reboot (with no P and about 20 MO's - the MO's started after 40 days). I think I was one of the bad cases since I drove myself into the ground with PMO for years after the first sign of problems without realizing what the issue was.

    There's no doubt that the reboot has given me significant the personality improvements as expected (less anxiety, more interest in music, movies and books, etc). But libido wise I feel like I've been in a flatline this whole time. Since I'm entering the 4-5 month period I'm expecting some changes.

    I'm just curious, what does happen when your libido comes back? Is it a sudden revival one day with ups and downs, or slow progression?
     
  2. ssk08

    ssk08 Pointman

    I got less interested in anti-social activities (books & movies haha) when getting the benefits.

    I got my libido back suddenly after 4 months, then I relapsed because I shivered and couldn't sleep (I should have gone out and met women to hold the libido gear switch on "Women" not "Porn"), libido was still there but vanished after a couple of days. I learned just recently the difference between "real" libido and porn "libido".

    "Real" libido is the force that makes your body want to approach a woman real bad, the stronger, the more likely you will not care about the result and just do what your animal brain tells you, not what your rational brain tells you. I think masturbation keeps your libido at medium levels at most, which is not enough to make you want to approach women real bad. It's harder to be aware of your libido when there is no attractive real woman close to you or within your sight, when there is, you will get that "drive" towards her, like gravity.

    Now I am having withdrawal symptoms (anti-social behaviour), which I didn't have for 4 months. Rebooting is so random, at least for me.
     
  3. MyUserName

    MyUserName New Member

    Thank you ssk08, that is super helpful and reassuring. I get more worried everyday that I doesn't come back. But I'm just about to hit the 120 day marker so maybe in the next couple of weeks I'll see some changes.

    Do you know (either from other stories our what you were feeling); if you didn't relapse would you have keep it, or would you have expected another flatline?

    If anyone else has some data, please post!
     
  4. ssk08

    ssk08 Pointman

    I have no idea really, as my reboot makes no sense, but one thing I do know is that a relapse into porn will not make anything better. I think you should stop masturbating forever, because I didn't masturbate a single time for four months. Don't relapse! I understand that you worry after so long, be around women all the time (dance classes, at least) so that you will quickly know when it's back.
     
  5. reasonstobecheerful

    reasonstobecheerful New Member

    In my experience (day 81 no PM, 5 or 6 wet dreams), my libido has appeared very sporadically. So far there have only been 2 or 3 instances where I could feel a sort of charge/super confidence. But these instances have only lasted at most for a day at a time and some of the time.

    From what I've read and from my limited experience of it, I think libido is a sort of driving force. It's like something is pushing you along, helping you through, giving you momentum. You don't care what others think and you just feel super confident.

    I'm hoping that it emerges on a permanent basis in the next 2 months.

    Good luck anyway!
     
  6. offthecuff

    offthecuff Guest

    Fucking great!
    suspect that is an obvious answer to an obvious question.
    I will elaborate,
    Still fucking great!!
    i feel like a man again and it scares me how good it feels.
    What really scares me is the years I have wasted not feeling like a man!
    Cheers
    OTC
     
  7. MyUserName

    MyUserName New Member

    offthecuff, thanks for joining the party. I suspected your answer, but I'm not familiar with your story.

    How long did it take you to get hit with libido? Did you feel changes over a couple of days or just woke up one day a new man?
     
  8. finallyfaund

    finallyfaund New Member

    MyUserName, do you think you are feeling the same as you would had you never whacked off this reboot? Your still telling your brain that pleasure comes from your hand. M + O is pointless.
     
  9. MyUserName

    MyUserName New Member

    finallyfaund,

    That's a good question that we don't the answer to. I think we'd all agree that no 'M' makes for a deeper reboot, as Gary has summarized in several forums. I'm sure I haven't done too much damage since I made it 41 days, and when I did 'M' I had no chaser effect. I would say that I'm not doomed, even with this M frequency.

    To your point:

    Porn induced ED is about repeated escalating stimulation diverting your pleasure pathways. As long as you don't reinforce the porn pathway, some light M shouldn't be a problem.


    I know the above is controversial, but I do still want feedback on my original question. I haven't been able to get a straight answer, but it sounds like libido will just pop in one day.
     
  10. Dante99

    Dante99 New Member

    Hi guys,

    I am in my 118 day without PMO and in my case return of libido is rather a gradual process and not something that happened at some determinate time. In my case it was not a big bang or a sudden explosion of desire. In general I am simply more attuned to sex with my wife, and we are doing it more often and it is much more pleasurable then it was in the past. It is really interesting that I really started to enjoy it after dumping PMO. So maybe, if I can generalize on the basis of my experience, recovery of libido is rather something that happens gradually, maybe you don't even know that it is returning, but slowly slowly it is gathering inside your brain. The one problem which remains after your libido is back is this kind of bad perfectionism that you gain from porn - your expectation that you need to be a perfect lover, that you cannot ejaculate quickly and other related imperatives which make you nervous. This is also something that one needs to get rid of. But in general without P you gain much more pleasure from sex, I really feel a big difference, it is just awesome now, while in the past it didn't feel so good.

    Peace!
     

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