What do women look for in a guy?

Discussion in 'Women' started by alphabetaomega001, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Fiddler

    Fiddler Active Member

    I ain't angry at women. Just deluded. Most women, like 90% of them, claim to look for those things in a man:

    - confident
    - funny
    - emotionally stable/intelligent
    - honest
    - overall, "nice" (notice the quotes around the word)
    - fit/attractive

    But at the same time the same 90% seems to invariably fall for a man that is just extremely confident, regardless of he being rich, attractive, honest, intelligent or whatever else. Therefore my point is that most women claim to look for some characteristics while they in truth will accept much less. Of course there's that 10% of women that are true to themselves and won't date "assholes" or guys that don't match what they have in mind. Fine. Wish there were more of them. I haven't had the luck to meet any of them so far but I acknowledge they exist.

    For this reason I stopped wondering what women want. They'll tell you what they "think" they want but don't what they actually want.

    On the other hand, men don't write long poems on dating sites claiming they would like to meet "intellectually challenging" or "humourous" women that they will fall in love with and live happily forever together. If it's attractive, men will want to fuck with. Which is, you got to admit, much more honest than those 90% of women I was talking about above.
     
  2. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    Thats because man are direct and woman are indirect.

    Woman are as shallow as man and look at apearance and looks. difference is we are honest about it woman dont. woman make excuses.

    so the best advise on dating is =
    don't read signals just do youre own thing and the woman who likes you will fallow you. Be a man and take the lead thats what she find atractive(confidence) only if she likes you..

    problem with man is that they listen to woman's indirect words they have to look at the things they do does she kisses you back and so on.
     
  3. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    It seems as though I'd need to drop about 30 iq points to engage in this argument with either of you.
    If this were a month ago I might have taken the time. Funny how not binging on internet porn leaves me less inclined to engage in internet debates.

    I'll keep it brief. You are both generalizing beyond reason. First of all, why should a bloke who isn't particularly honest, intelligent, or "nice" expect to attract an honest, intelligent, and kind woman, you get a reflection of yourself, nothing more.

    I have met plenty of intelligent women who are worth my time, they aren't caked in makeup and they aren't perfect tens physically, but it's the whole package that counts. They are intelligent, honest, and beautiful in their own way, if you haven't run into this type of woman then perhaps there is something about you they aren't enamored with, maybe it's your poor grammar, lack of intelligence, and bad attitude.

    Some women are dishonest about what they want, and some men are as well, and yes women do care about looks/grooming, get over it. I remember a study awhile back that determined women are more likely to tell subtle lies to avoid causing emotional harm, they aren't just lying because they get off on the power trip.
     
  4. Fiddler

    Fiddler Active Member

    Mik2, there is no need to offend anybody. I prefer to keep it civil but you started so there you go...

    You don't have the iq to understand that my point wasn't about being purposefully dishonest when dating; my point instead was that women "think" that they need some characteristics in a man when in truth they fall for others, or less, than them. It's not like they lie on purpose about this, but society tells them to look for some qualities instead of others while they are attracted by those, yes, on a mental level, but on a feeling level, deep down, they are attracted by others. Namely, being very confident, masculine, fit and not giving in to their lunacies all the time. I ain't blaming them, it's their nature as much as it is the nature of men to feel attracted by very beautiful women, no matter if they are dumb and boring. Maybe it's testosterone (or lack there of) or how the brain is made. I don't know.
    I only take this as a truth of life and live accordingly, thus not asking women what they want because they'll invariably tell me the mental level of their desires, nearly never the feeling level.

    I hope it is clear enough this time.

    Besides, in my very short dating activity, less than 2 years and with a LTR in between, and my "poor grammar, lack of intelligence, and bad attitude", as you assert, I've dated:

    - a psychologist and sexologist who just won the Poland national award in her area
    - a director of a fashion/urban culture magazine
    - a teacher who knows 4 languages (english, polish, russian and italian)
    - a fashion stylist that regularly participates in Fashion Weeks and works in a international company (huge one, think about the top 10 worldwide)

    and currently dating an environmental engineer. So Mik2, when you say I haven't the intelligence or grammar or attitude to date intelligent women, and with all due respect that you didn't give me, go fuck yourself.
     
  5. Newnes

    Newnes Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Guys, please stop the cockfight and moderate yourselves.

    There's no need to be condescending to each other. If you're as clever as you implicitely mean, show it by not engaging in such a way and I'm sure the debate will be somehow elevated and thus more productive for everyone. ;)
     
  6. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    No worries T, I don't have the inclination to debate/waste time these days. For some folks women will always be the bad guy, doesn't get much higher on the ignorance scale than that kind of thinking ;)
     
  7. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    Oh fuck there's finally a mod back on YBOP? does that mean we can't say fuck?
     
  8. Newnes

    Newnes Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Haha yes you still can ;)

    You can use whatever vocabulary you want, it's not my role to make this forum a swear-free place. But it's my role that people don't insult or offend each other, that trolls don't troll out too much, and that everyone feels safe on their journal (I've been surprised by how often people have been offended by comments on their journal).

    No problem :) I think of the law of attraction + self-fulling prophecy. People who have issues attract girls with as much as, or similar issues. And people who don't believe in happy relationships will sabotage them eventually (that's just one example). So in a way, no matter what we think about the other gender and relationships - it becomes our reality. For some women will indeed be the bad guys, for some women will be out of reach, for some they won't be a concern at all, some will be in an endless cycle of repetitions, etc. There's not much point in entering the specifics of those debate because at some level, everyone is right.

    That's also why the bottom-line conclusion about women and relationship is: deal with your shit, and the world around you will fix itself.
     
  9. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Nope, although many extreme mgtow would like us to believe it's a cultural thing. "Just go to a third world country to find a woman that will submit to your every whim". That seems to be their idea of combating inequality among the genders ::)
    Of course I could be wrong, I live in Canada myself. Perhaps these United States women really are the spawn of Satan :eek:

    That's not to say the core concepts of mgtow are wrong. There is plenty of merit to a man not getting married/cohabitating, and otherwise protecting himself from the very real inequalities that negatively impact men. Some of them just take it way to far and seem to forget that women are also people, with their own inequalities to face.

    Just watch some of Sandman's or Turd Flinging Monkey's videos on youtube. They have such confidence in their sweeping generalizations that you would almost think they really believe what they say.
     
  10. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    lol
    So true.
     
  11. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    Not so sure about that...Depends on the woman....Depends on their situation...and level of sanity.
     
  12. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    No it's not much more honest: it's a much more short term vision. So in a way it's much more deluded.
     
  13. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    Man, don't you give that kind of advice on a pmo addicts forum! That's murder!
     
    Clips4Souls likes this.
  14. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    What's her take on global warming ?
     
  15. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    Even if it were the case, that wouldn't make you a less worthy person. Now you're right to be proud of your qualities.
     
  16. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    Warning: trigger !!!
     
  17. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    How do we do that, Sir ?
     
  18. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    I should think that some of them have been ideologically poisoned.
     
  19. Newnes

    Newnes Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Analyse your thought processes, calm down, understand your living patterns, understand where those patterns come from... The more of yourself you have within your awareness, the more you will grow. What's beyond our awareness is controlling us, and generally not for the best.

    Practical methods: have an emotional/reflective journal (there are plenty of methods, and it's quite important because you don't want to use your journal to ruminate or it'll be negative), meditate, ask yourself "why?" until you get to the bottom of your motivations, do workshops like that on Recovery Nation, etc.

    If you have the financial means, I'd suggest seeing a therapist/coach, and/or going to meditation/Yoga retreats.
     
  20. Webdeveloper

    Webdeveloper Member

    I'm interested in the journal methods you're talking about. Could you give some more details please ?
     

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