What do women look for in a guy?

Discussion in 'Women' started by alphabetaomega001, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. alphabetaomega001

    alphabetaomega001 "No. Edge Not. Fap. Or Fap Not. There is No Edge."

    I would just like to get a female opinion on the following please:

    So I was wondering what girls look for in guys. I'm an 18 year-old virgin and I have drop dead zero experience with women. Never been in a relationship, dated, had a casual unprofessional conversation, hugged, kissed, had female friends, you get the point. So when I finally do finish my nofap recovery and decide to approach a girl, should I act confident but not dependent? Should I be alpha? I know that sounds stupid, but I really don't want to be someone that i'm not, such as a jerk. But jerks get all the ladies. So i'm kinda confused. I thought women like kind-hearted males, who respect them, give all their attention and love to them and so on. That's more like myself. I am a very spiritual person and don't see myself "superior" to others or regard females as "trophies" as most guys put it. I want to be with a women in a soul-mate type of relationship not one night stands. I truly desire an intimate and emotional connection/ bond. But it seems most women, especially attractive females are after the shallow types. Are there really women out there that are beautiful on both the inside and appearance?

    So can anyone shed light on this issue?

    Thank you for any replies :)
     
  2. Newnes

    Newnes Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Women want a guy who doesn't jerk off to porn! :)
    Go at 2mn here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cTFnn4gzTU

    More seriously though, "women" isn't a single group, and "women" don't actually know what they want (same goes for men). You'll find one when you're ready. I'm not a jerk and I did find several - some mistakes, and some with whom it didn't work due to circumstances. I'm not handsome or ugly, I'm quite average, a bit small, I have a bit of a belly but also some muscle, and I don't behave like a PUA. I've just happened to meet women who liked who I am, for myself and not for who I could have pretended to be, and so will you.

    Just be yourself... You can't fake being alpha; if you do and if you find a girl like this, you'll lose her when you get back to being yourself. And if you fake being someone else, assuming you actually make it, you'll find a girl who likes a ghost, not you. Be honest, say what you want (don't rush the feelings when they happen though).
     
  3. Loleekins

    Loleekins Nemo repente fuit turpissimus

    Newnes gave you good advice. Be yourself.

    No two women want/require the same things. We all like different things in men both physically and in personality makeup.The best thing to do is be who you are and gain acceptance and love from that. It's the only way to ensure what you will have is genuine.
     
  4. mehdi1

    mehdi1 New Member

    i remembered this witty quote: be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people. :D
    i mean if you suck, if you lack character,strength,talent,education... then become a better person. just don't confuse it with not growing and not becoming a better person because everyone is supposed to accept you no matter how much you suck. be yourself means find your own way to grow but principles are the same.
     
    urgesarehell likes this.
  5. Jenny

    Jenny New Member

    Hi,

    It really depends on the values of the woman.

    Some women want men who have big bank accounts/big car/big house etc.

    …. but I think that most women want a meaningful relationship with a guy. They want to feel loved. They want a man who truly cares about them. A man who has empathy. A man who makes them feel special, smart, beautiful. Someone who is reliable, committed and faithful. You know Rihanna's song where she says "I want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world"? That's so true!!!

    I think the reason why women who are looking for a serious relationship with a caring man sometimes end up with an asshole is because those men are usually not shy. They go to women, talk to them easily. They are confident. They make them feel special (even if they don't mean it… but the girl does not know it), so the girl is hooked….. until she realizes that he was not sincere. Believe me: no woman wants to be with a man like this.. Been there, done that. It hurts.
     
  6. Giuseppe Garibaldi

    Giuseppe Garibaldi [url=http://pmo-tracker.appspot.com/?u=60434948879

    Don't ask what a woman looking for in guy,ask yourself what you want and work on you.
    Man,I'm not speaking to you because I'm feeling superior,but because you are a man with problem like me and we have to learn a lot.
    I feel a disconnection between the real you and the you that you believe the other people want to love.
    Maybe I'm wrong,but it's the same for me and it's curious this case because I started to read "No More Mr Nice Guy" and talk about this.

    I'm not a woman,but I recognized that often is not the best choice ask a woman what she wants,because she don't know or lies.
    And about being yourself,I think yes and no,because before we have to understand what we are.
     
  7. Fiddler

    Fiddler Active Member

    Exactly. Never ask a woman what she wants because all you'll get is either a lie, "I don't know" or a reply that will change by the minute. It's pointless.
     
  8. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    To be honest most woman are as superficial as man they only look at "looks".

    And even more then man we only look at their body woman olso look at your cloths do you have style wich haircut you have..
    you might be good looking but if you dont have the right cloths that she wants she will dislike you..

    of course just there are olso girs who arent that superficial like some men who dont allways look at apearence.
     
  9. helldell

    helldell New Member

    Character.
     
  10. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    No they dont they are as superficial as man and look at youre looks ... mainly cloths they have a certain types in their mind .
     
  11. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Yeah, a lot of them probably are, and people like you probably have a knack for attracting that kind of woman, a reflection of yourself right?
     
  12. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    by the time you hit your twenties you're fucked. a quarter of the fun loving girls you knew will have kids from unprotected sex, or simply because they decided they wanted a kid with the popular guy they dated in highschool or right afterwards. Now they're single posting memes about their baby daddy still wanting it on facebook. Another large percentage of the sexy fun-loving girls you grew up with will become alcoholics, or drug addicts & if you want to date one of them, all you have to do is provide alcohol or drugs. Some of the fun loving girls you grew up with will of course find nice guys.

    The popular girls from your highschool or college, that only went to the indoor parties held by the popular boys, will marry the popular boys, or someone at their college into football and pre-med. They'll continue to post pictures to facebook of them wearing your highschool's cheerleading uniform just to taunt you for the rest of your life. (also crock-pot recipes) Some of them will also have a kid early & will fall off the face of the earth, as highschool was the pinnacle of their social life.

    Finally you have the average girls. You will quickly realize that they are in a race to find a good "man" and they talk about it regularly with their friends. If you turn around to blow your nose, they will all be taken when you turn back around. Basically by anyone with enough balls to ask them out. At this point (mid twenties) most of the average girls have been brutally emotionally abused by assholes, or they're taken by socialites. Leaving bars (please see fun-loving alcoholic girls in 1st paragraph) an introvert's best bet for getting laid or finding a girl willing to be in a relationship in any kind of timely fashion.

    What do girls want in general? They want someone around a foot taller than them, because society says so. By the time you're in your mid 20's or early 30's the girls whom havent been taken yet are holding out for someone with a nice mid to high paying job (construction/office/manager) that can help pay the bills, because they're usually the type of girl that hasn't saved much money up for mid-life responsibilities & they're tired of the toilette flushing into the dishwasher fill tube in their 5th street apartment. Example: If I walk through the mall wearing a clean T-shirt & a clean pair of pants I may as well be wearing a wedding ring. If I walk through the mall with a dirt stained t-shirt, jeans with dirt stained knees, and work boots, women smile from 30 feet away till they pass by me.

    Of course women at all stages of life just want someone thats attractive with a good reputation that'll care about her. But as you age, the women that are leftover are usually marriage minded. They want someone attractive so they can say they held out for a good looking guy. Someone that shows potential for good parenting skills, someone that has a good head on his shoulders, a financial plan, responsibility, someone with good health insurance, a pension... owning a 3 bedroom house is a big plus for women in their mid to late 20s. The big phrase you hear women today saying is "I just want to find someone I can build with" In other words, build a life with, someone that has a head start on a mortgage, 401K, someone responsible enough to pay his car payments. you get the idea.
     
  13. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Why do some guys sound so angry about the practical nature of women?
    Yeah many women are marriage minded, yes many of them want stability, women are human's with their own goals, fears, etc.
    They don't purposefully try to manipulate men, but they do have their own interests in mind.

    Why not just accept this and move on? Why not accept the fact that a lot women would rather be with a driven confident man that isn't living in their parents basement, and can actually afford to support the life they want? They aren't gold diggers just because they want stability, most successful attractive women just want a man to bring something to the table.

    I find most of the mgtow community to be quite odd in this regard. They talk about how women are gold diggers when they fall for the physically attractive doctors, lawyers, etc. Then they get upset that the attractive and successful women aren't giving them any attention for playing cod in their parents basement...

    If you want a beautiful and successful woman, you have to do something for her. She isn't an angel fallen from heaven to cater to all your desires while she gets nothing in return. Women are people, that is supposed to be the key realization to waking up from the matrix right? Well men are also people, and we have our own set of flaws, deal with it and move on.

    None of this means that this hypothetical attractive and successful woman is shallow. Just because she has preferences regarding appearance, and confidence doesn't mean that she isn't also looking for a strong emotional connection. Appearance is just the first thing she sees, just as a lot of men subconsciously gravitate towards the women with big boobs, and hope that she has a decent personality hidden somewhere under that wonderful rack :p

    If you are a lazy, bitter, below average physically, low income man, go find a lazy, unattractive, low income gal and appreciate her for her inner beauty as the angry mgtow suggest attractive and successful women should do for below average men. Otherwise they might just be hypocrites ;)
     
    urgesarehell likes this.
  14. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    No they don't. You can't ask women in general what they want in men and then assume the women you personally engage with are going to want the same things. If you are the common denominator in your relationships with dishonest women, maybe you should reconsider your selection of potential mates...
     
  15. Fiddler

    Fiddler Active Member

    So you know a class of women who know exactly what they want and don't change opinion by the minute and always date men who match the characteristics they claim to like?

    Please do tell me, I'm all ears.
     
  16. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    No I don't, because I don't group individuals into different classes. I know plenty of women who live honestly and make every effort to live by their personal values. A couple of them are family members that I looked up to growing up. That's a big part of men and women turning to extreme variants of feminism and mgtow, they often lacked good role models growing up and so they internalize it. They believe that their tiny drop in the ocean of experiences with men or women somehow applies to all of them.
    I don't know any men that always know exactly what they want either, something you conveniently dismiss.

    Perhaps you can do better than a pathetic strawman argument, I'm "all ears", although I do possess a mind between them.
     
  17. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    was that to me Mik? did i sound bitter or angry? I was trying to sound humorous.
    i mean i plainly wrote that women want a guy with his life together but also an attractive & caring guy. The whole package.

    my issue is I have always resisted (with a lot of enthusiastic energy) the entire idea of conforming to societal norms created through years of tradition. I was raised by my punk rock idols & they were screaming at me to resist caring what I looked like, resist ever making money my god, resist the cookie cutter home & cookie cutter auto pilot mindset. all of this was very appealing to me personally, at a young age. I saw the world as very oppressive. today I have found values of pride in my work ethic, and I do understand the history behind capitalism now, & the reason we work for a living. My father worked 80 hours a week and I only saw him on sundays until the day he died. I was always very angry with him for that. But now I realize that all of the hours he spent working had made it possible for me to NOT work, and still enjoy freedoms that many would never know had their father not left their mother in financial stability. Home cooked meals, cable TV and internet, it's been over 20+ years since his death and his pension and social security and retirement & health insurance still take care of me to this day. Getting back on track, like I said, I grew up rebellious of the system & that is still a part of me today. & I understand that it was my choice to develop the ideas I hold so close to my heart, & that I am a minority in my beliefs in this world.... & I understand that not wanting a house or a new car or new clothes makes me appear less stable. I have to deal with that. However I have ALWAYS, always STRIVES to put my values & my morals above my ego, & I will try to continue to do so. I am marriage minded, because I am love minded. I am also baby minded. I want to raise a man with my belief system, however I would love a chance at ironing out the kinks I had to learn on my own.

    The fact is, I don't want anything of value. I want to give my money to a woman that would appreciate it. I would quite literally have no issue handing over my entire paycheck to the woman I love // whom has my child. (after necessary bills are paid) but without being upfront about that attitude early on, lol, that don't help me land dates with "normal" materialistic women.
     
  18. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    No, it seemed like you were pointing out the fact that women have ambitions/desires/goals of their own, it was just an expansion on that. Fiddler seems to be an example of the bitter/angry mgtow folks.
     
  19. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    What do women want?????

    Me.
     
  20. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Not just the ladies honey, all the boys are lining up for a piece of h20 as well ;)
     

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