WGA ditching porn journal

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by WGA83, May 20, 2012.

  1. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Hi guys

    im new to the forum and was advised to check out this site by a very helpful guy on the ehealth forum site (belive his name is Gabe on here).

    A bit about me, im 28 and have suffered from ED since losing my virginity at 18, always thought it was something that would sort itself out as i got older with the right girl and all that stuff - never did.

    Always thought my ED was related to confidence and anxiety (probably slightly is as ive never had a particlarily smooth sexual experience). Started looking at porn at 16 started mainly with magazines and escalated having a collection of more mags which became increasingly more difficult to hide and then videos that circualted between me and my mates. Internet took it up a notch as there was loads to choose from for free and also meant i was on sex chat rooms pretty much nightly although have decreased this in the last couple of years. Got to the point where it kinda felt i was whacking off for the sake of it and it was a routine, sometimes wasnt fully aroused or was looking for harder stuff to get aroused, but always thought masterbation and porn were perfectly normal so never attributed my ED to this.

    Ive had about 7 sexual partners and every time ED has reared its ugly head, or maybe i should say the head wasnt reared enough. Longest relationship was about 6 month and although ED was there at the start of the relationship it went after a few times of sex, maybe because i was more confident but i was also off the porn when i was with her.

    I went to the docs about 2 years ago after a girl i was dating at the time had finished with me and i attribute that to the ED as i never once penetrated her. i got some cialisis tabs which i did try on occasion but never really helped maybe cos of the porn induced ED and also cos id usually been drinking having met a girl on a night out.

    Also went for psychsexual councilling which was good at the time but we never touched up porn induced ED and focused more on the performance anxiety lack of confidence scenario, so considering trying go back and discussing this with the doc - August 2011 was my last councilling session.

    Anyway, if youve read to this point, and thanks if you have, then my new plan of attack is to drop the porn and chat rooms and try and get my brain back to appreciating the finer things of dating and women not the unrealistic porn and fantasies/roleplay.

    I havent masterbated for 3 weeks and havent looked at porn either, however i was still having raunchy chats on msn during this time but not masterbating. After getting advice off the ehealth forum it seems this is just as bad as the old porn, so no more kinky chats for me fingers crossed, even uninstalled msn lol.

    Since Friday 16th May i havent looked at porn or chatted on sex chat so im classing that as day 1, not long ago i know but you gotta start somewhere, thought id start this journal to track my progress and give me the motivation to stay on track and will aim to post updates every few days

    Not sure if anyone will bother reading this but if you do would love to hear any tips or similar stories or tales of light at the end of the tunnel

    Its good to have found a site where this can be discussed without embaressment or being judged

    All the best guys
     
  2. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Hey WGA,

    well I bothered reading your wall of text.

    Great that you realized that porn is not all that good and sweet.

    Have you read stuff on yourbrainonporn.com?

    You should totally set yourself at least a minor goal (countable, in other words - number of days). So you can actually see your progress.

    Is ED the only reason or there are other reasons that motivate you to quit?
     
  3. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Thanks for reading my tale of woe Laurynas,

    giving myself a target sounds like a good idea, ive read that its about an average of 2 months for the brain to heal?
    so im aiming for 60 days with no porn/sex chat/masterbation, but im hoping to give up the porn and chat for good.

    gonna use this time to try and get my head back in check got some books on cognitive behaviour therapy and nlp to try and get more positivity into my outlook, might try some meditation as well.

    Its only Day 4 but im resisting the urge to look at porn or go on chat when using my laptop, not sure if folks are gonna read or comment on this journal but i will aim to maintain it for my own sake.
     
  4. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    The journal is completely yours and your aim on this journal should be tracking your own progress, it doesn't have to become a chat. People will do reply if you have some questions though.

    I'll be one of those who will keep an eye on you from time to time, I have faith in you that you can do it without even relapsing. (Just the way I'm doing right now).

    Be careful with NLP, don't mess up your head, it's dangerous although "seems" harmless at times but you really can cause yourself some harm with that.

    So what are 10 things that motivate you to resist the urges and watching P/sex chats? Why do you want to stay clean for your 60 days target?
     
  5. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    Whats up WGA! (dukeblue33 here)

    Glad to see you get some accountability! Feel free to ask me anything.

    A few answers for you concerning your first post.
    you said "i got some cialisis tabs which i did try on occasion but never really helped" This is because our erections start in our brains, ED drugs like cialis only work at getting blood into the penis. If you have porn induced ED your problem is in the brain not your penis. ED drugs do not make your brain produce more dopamine (in other words get you aroused) for sex. Now they will increase your blood flow but a young healthy man should not use sex drugs they will end up doing more harm than good. So my advice is to stay away from pills unless your 70 and actually need them.

    The perfomance anxiety/being nervous and lacking confidence if anything will make you premature ejaculate. It wont keep you from getting a boner.(it can if severe but not likely..) Widespread youthfull ED has not been around longer than porn! Its new, and yes anxiety will play a part and doesnt help your situation but you should still be able to get it up. Porn is the problem, you brain has been desensitized.

    Be on the lookout for withdrawal, things like stress, increased anxiety, insomnia, muscle aches, and tons of other stuff can happen. Know that this is from giving up your addiction and stay calm and get out of the house and do something to take your mind off things! like workout!

    Other than that your off to a good start man.
    Be patient

    Oh and if you do meet the love of your life during your reboot, you have time to date and get to know her and let her know your not all about sex! Dont worry, get motivated, you can do this!
    much love
     
  6. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Day 7

    well its been a week since i started my reboot, going well so far i think, ive been resisting the urge to go on chat sites or look at any porn whilst on my laptop (used to have a browse whilst playing poker).

    Ive being enjoying filling my time with more productive endevours, ive started a new fitness plan and ive started reading more. Its been about 3 weeks since the last time i masterbated and havent really had any cravings or particularily missed it, thought i would have experienced morning wood tho which hasnt really occured, dont know if this is normal?

    Might be going out to night and with the weather nice im sure there will be plenty of scantily clad ladies about, will have to see if this stirs anything lol
     
  7. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    "Its been about 3 weeks since the last time i masterbated and havent really had any cravings or particularily missed it, thought i would have experienced morning wood tho which hasnt really occured, dont know if this is normal?"

    Yes this is normal. some guys flatline (have no desire for anything sexual) for a few weeks to months, then their sex drive comes roaring back and cravings get tuff once again. Another thing you should know is the healing process is NOT linear, meaning one day you might feel on top of the world then the next day feel like jumping off a bridge... You will have ups and downs, stay strong man, glad to see you gettin productive and staying active. Keep it up!

    Also, morning wood should come back eventually, mine didn't come back for about 4 months. Most guys start seeing signs of life within the first 2 months though. A lot of guys on this site ask about morning wood and I tell them not to worry about it because you can get morning wood and still have Porn induced ED, BUT it IS a good sign to let a guy know his penis is perfectly fine and his problem is in the brain. So be patient it should come back my man.
     
  8. Binderdonedat

    Binderdonedat New Member

    Interesting journal WGA83
    I was involved in another recovery site before and coming here is different in that there are so many guys that have developed ED from excessive online porning and frapping before they even established a sex life.
    I'm just coming to understand the increased focus on ED because of this. I'm was wondering how I could help, and it occured to me that mabe some of you guys should just forget about the ED for now, and let things develop on their own... like have faith it will happen in due time. Don't misunderstand me, I know its distressing, but focusing on ED and getting all worked up about it just makes it worse, like performance anxiety. You must have learned that at the psychsexual councilling about performance anxiety lack of confidence.
    Forgive me if I am wrong.
     
  9. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Day 10

    still going strong with the no porn/chat rooms and havent masterbated or really felt the urge too, my mind has occasionaly wondered off into fantasy but ive reeled it back in once ive acknowledged the fact.

    just trying to stay positive and look at the big picture at the moment where i hopefully get to have a good sex life with real girls rather than text and images on a computer screen.

    i originally thought i would have to be a recluse for the period of my reboot and stay in incase i met agirl and she wanted something sexual, dont think this is such a good idea now seen as sex with real girls is the ultimate goal, so just gonna take it as it comes and if i do get the chance to be with a girl see how it plays out.

    I had a wet dream last night, which is a good thing isnt it?
     
  10. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    Yes it is a good thing, just your bodies way of making sure your plumbing works. Guys do not need to masturbate, nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) take care of that if we need a release.

    keep looking at the big picture man. A few months or however long of discipline now does not compare to the rest of your life being a better man.
     
  11. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Day 14

    so 2 weeks into my reboot and is going well, still have the occasional urge to look at porn or go on a chat room but so far have resisted, feeling quite good about myself for not giving in to temptation, just hope i can maintain and not relapse, fingers crossed.
     
  12. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    still going strong with resisting porn and chat rooms

    I had sex last night and it went ok still not getting instantly aroused but it got there with some coaxing

    will this have affected my reboot, should I have gone the full reboot period without any sex?

    hope this doesn't mean I'm back at day 1
     
  13. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    3 weeks in

    im past the 3 week mark now still going strong no porn or chat rooms and ive kept my hands off my dick lol
     
  14. Mighty Mouse

    Mighty Mouse New Member

    Hi WGA,

    Big congrats on having sex! Even though you needed a little coaxing, you still did it and it's proof that you can have a great sex life. Not all guys get fully turned on just by seeing a naked woman. My guess is that many of us need a little foreplay too to get a full erection.

    You're certainly not back to day 1. Part of the reboot process is learning to have a healthier attitude towards sex, and sex with a real live woman that you have an emotional connection with is what we are all aiming for. The only thing to be aware of is that sometimes there is a strong chaser effect the day after having sex - a strong urge to look at porn.

    Will you be seeing this girl again? It's great to have a good woman in your life!
     
  15. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    the girl i had sex with is a girl i know but there wont be any relationship or anything it was more of a casual thing, which i dont know is a good thing or not, but at least it was an experience with a real girl and not porn, just trying to gain more confidence with women especially in the bedroom, and need get used to using condoms as my erection seems to do a runner straight away when these are introduced :(
     
  16. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Four weeks in with no porn, sex chat or masterbation (just had the one sexual experience which has been my one and only orgasm durng this time)

    Not really feeling the urge to look at porn or anything, the odd fantasy pops in my head but im trying to control them and focus on more realistic experiences

    Im confident at the moment i can make it 2 months with no porn or anything just focusing on not falling of the wagon and looking at the big picture of decent sex with real girls - trying to work on my confidence and self esteem if people have any tips on good books or anything?
     
  17. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    Past the 5 week mark now with no porn, chat rooms or masterbation, my urges have diminished quiet a bit too and no longer feel tempted to have a quick look online which is good, another 3 weeks till i reach the 8 week target mark but i hope this will be a behaviour i can keep up indefinately
     
  18. TrainingTheDragon

    TrainingTheDragon New Member

    Great stuff man. You're having a much better time passing the weeks than myself. All the best. Don't want to jinx you but your progress is awesome.
     
  19. WGA83

    WGA83 New Member

    6 weeks no PMO - rock and roll.
     
  20. hanshin

    hanshin New Member

    Your progress is an inspiration to us all. What keeps you going?
     

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