I managed to go 63 days with out masturbating which is a personal record for me, previously the longest I had gone was about 14 days. I masturbated in the closing minutes of October 31 and managed go all of November and December 2016 with out masturbating before finding myself lying in bed, grinding the mattress after watching two videos. My streak started on November 1, 2016 and ended on January 3, 2017. I've been a bit stressed lately and honestly this felt good and it took the edge off but as I'm sitting here coming down off the orgasm, I'm having extreme amounts of clarity (as well as a pounding headache) .....First, the 63 days I went with out masturbating was more about endurance instead of quitting porn, in those 63 days I still looked at pictures of naked women and still peeped videos daily, despite not masturbating, so I was bound to fail at some point....I guess showed a great deal of endurance but didn't make any real progress. On the positive side, I did notice the effects of greatly reduced brain fog, stronger erections and being able to get hard from normal, realistic things and normal realistic looking women, instead of anything related to the fantasy of porn. Which I think is a good thing. Still, I'm kind of proud of my 63 days, even if it was more endurance than progress away from porn but I do want to take the next step and I want to really cut the porn out because I fully believe that if there was no porn. I'd probably be pushing towards day 64 right now. So I'm gonna start another streak and this time try to keep my hands in their place and my browser on something PG.
How about your goals outside of your involvement with porn and its negative effects? Reduced brain fog is great, but what pursuit are you actually putting your brainpower into? And better boners are fine, are you using them to have sex with someone? Here's my unsolicited advice, concentrate on external goals like those instead of focussing on getting another long 'streak'.
I agree with you 100% concentrating on goals is better than just trying go on another long streak only to fall off. At this point I'm about about 39 or 40 pounds overweight and I need get my weight down and I'd like to look into continuing my education, I'd rather spend my increased brainpower into getting into shape and getting smarter. I'll make those my goals this time around.
Well, I always like to talk to people about the possiblity of an orgasm reboot. If that's not your cup of tea, then I always like to relate to this struggle and how I've made dents in my progress with a a simple adjustment in my views. I went from edging and lapsing every other day to recently an almost effortless 2 month streak JUST by switching things up a bit. Basing what I learned from quitting smoking using Allen Carr's Easy Way method, what I did was acknowledge and reinforce three simple things. A) The addiction is not bad enough to kill me, but it IS an addiction. B) Porn does not bring me relief... it calms withdrawel symptoms that the porn created (Allen Carr calls this like putting on a tight shoe just for the relief of taking it off. C) Porn is not real. AT ALL. The first two are pretty self explanatory, but the third one was the biggest break through for me. While reading Art of Manlieness for research on how to quit porn, the editor cited an aticle about research these scientists were conducting to test the notion if EVERYONE really did masturbate. I believe the findings only some 30% of the world's population were culturally inclined to do that. It's a luxury of the modern world. One tribe in particular had to be instructed on how to do it in order to recieve samples... only to get back samples that were mixed with vaginal lubrication. They had to penetrate a woman to even be able to finish. So, I realized... yeah, porn is fake. The pornstars don't even look like themselves, and all the novelty, violence and other super stimuli was the reason any of this was even that appealing. But, it hit me: if I was a tribesman and I stumbled upon another member grunting and moaning for hours in front of a plastic box for hours a day... he'd look really stupid to me because that's not a real woman. Immediately, 90% of the work went away to resist porn. Only recently have I lapsed again for a few days because I'm getting something else from porn I did not take into consideration, but that's a whole different story. Essentially, it takes away the willpower so it stops being an endurance test and more of a personal choice. We're not built to resist things for that long. But we are built to adapt and THINK we need certain things in our life... so much to the point we certainly start to feel it. Hope any of this helps.
Damn right about porn being fake. The mental image of a tribesman grunting over a plastic box is entirely appropriate. Hilarious too. Should be helpful to reflect on. On that note, I wanna pimp the latest post I made in my journal, including a possibly educational, absurd video: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/mapping-new-territories.1707/page-4#post-568261
I have question, any and all answers are appreciated. I've masturbated 3 times since January 3rd and each orgasm has been PAINFUL. I don't even want to look at anything remotely sexy, let alone full on nudity or porn. Can anybody give some insight as to what this pain is or where it's coming from?
I thinx there can be 2 options : first option : I had the pain because i didn't have someone i loved or lke who i can have sex with. The pain you don't have sex... Youre body is horny and wants to reproduce this is where the magical powers come from the motivation to talk to girls. However if you cum because of masturbation you suddenly become aware damn i am a looser can't find a mate. second option: Withdrawel feeling, you got orgasme but you didn't get the fix you needed. you didn't watch porn or other stimulation. Youre body wants orgasme to porn not something else Personally i thinx its the first option you are horny and want sex but don't get it and its frustrating
It's neither one of those. I'm not sexually frustrated, I'm not a loser. I have a porn and masturbation issue that I'd like to shake. it's physical pain, probably from the death grip as Wabi-sabi said.
Masturbation is just a habit. It's not related to sex or success. My advice is to not worry about breaking your streak, or to blame yourself. You learned from it, and that's pure gold. Personally, people can tell me stuff, but it's just a bunch of hot air until I see it in action for myself. You've learned more about rebooting and relapsing in this last couple of weeks by going through it than if you'd spent years reading about it.
Give yourself a pat on the back, that was a fantastic streak. Continuing to peek throughout the streak would have made it 10 times harder. You will be unstoppable if you stop the peeking.
Just because you didn't see any changes in 63 days doesn't mean that BIG changes aren't out there. Keep at it! A couple small relapses here and there won't destroy your progress. It's when you decide to give up and binge for weeks and months.. that's when it takes you back to step 1. 63 days is nothing. Can take over 6 months to see large changes. I remember when I started back in 2013.. I couldn't make it 10 days for awhile. Now I can do 4 to 6 months easy. The problem is that you must PERSIST. One of my good friends and I started this at roughly the same time.. It's hard for him to make it past 50 days.. but when he relapses.. he gets right back up and goes another 50 days easy.. Me on the other hand.. I can go 6 months easy.. It's a bad pattern in my life. Just as I start really blossoming and seeing big changes.. I somehow relapse and then justify it to myself like.. "this is bullshit.. it's all placebo etc.." Then I binge for MONTHS. 3 years later.. Even though my friend has small relapses more frequently.. He is showing MUCH MUCH better progress than myself. He is blossoming so well.. becoming a ladies man, extremely confident, very good social skills. I'm still fucked because I always give in and abandon the mission. Maximize your clean days.. ideally you NEVER relapse.. but if it happens.. get back up and keep on fighting. It takes a long time... forget NoFap 90 day bullshit.. Just keep going and you WILL see results.
Dear Telekineticowl... I would like to interest you in my ******** based on the Easyway method. The book is here: https://sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/ The post is here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/...quit-smoking-method-to-use-to-quit-pmo.36712/ Dear Nocturnal: I want to congratulate you of your real good fight with the 'little monster' You said 'First, the 63 days I went with out masturbating was more about endurance instead of quitting porn, in those 63 days I still looked at pictures of naked women and still peeped videos daily, despite not masturbating, so I was bound to fail at some point....I guess showed a great deal of endurance but didn't make any real progress." You self-tortured yourself by taking 'just a peek'. If you didn't you'd have easily gone more days and even for ever. Please take a look at my ********. It does not use (a) will power method (b) brain science and (c) scare tactics. All these are necessary but it will be counter productive to use these for quitting, because in my experience they push PMOers towards the trap. I think you have more than average frustration tolerance and hence you are a great candidate to benefit for my free ********. You only need to work on your 'big monster' the unbrainwashing. Please read the book in its proper sequence of chapters. I wish you all well.
I posted that before you linked that book to me in the other forum! Great read thus far. Honestly, it's a little rough around the edges, but I recommend every person on these forums give it a chance because from everything I know about Allen Carr and addiction, the prescribed willpower method is bound to do more harm than GOOD.
Thanks Telkinetic...remember now. Really appreciate it. Just to make it clear for the readers... The Method has all the brain science and will power and does talk about the scares of PMO. There is a dedicated chapter called " Just One Peek" and why it is harmful and has touched the topic of DeltFosB protein- I call that as 'porn waterslides' . How every time you take a 'ride' down the slide you are 'greasing' it and thus making the 'little monster' stronger and stronger. I claim that the 'thrill is in the hunt not in the killing' and explain the dopamine flushes we get just from edging. But brain science is already available thanks to Gabe and Gary and other great peoples. It is not mumbo-jumbo. It includes all of the above. BUT ...the key thing that differentiates it from the other Methods is that it DOES NOT USE them to QUIT PMO. They are very very effective to maintain a non-PMO life but NOT TO QUIT !!! Quitting requires knowing, dealing and overcoming Feelings and Emotions in the HEAT of the moment. You need to be more powerful than PMO but at the same time you cannot (a) ignore (b) fight and (c) Try NOT to think the thoughts. The thoughts that bring in feelings of Urge and Cravings. If I could make my 'successful' readers to NOT feel 'miserable and deprived' every night they don't PMO... you know what ? That is my success. They will have enough ammunition to go past the next day. If I could make my 'slipped' readers to NOT feel 'miserable and guilty' every time they slipped and PMO'ed... you know what ? That is my success. They will be able to get back to their feet sooner...and will not fall into the slip->lapse->relapse cycle. It is a bit hard to understand the technique used by the Method and the language fails me. But I assure you that if you read the chapters in the ‘********’ in the right order you will develop ways to handle your feelings and emotions. And once you reach that stage all the other techniques such as will power, brain science etc will aid you forward. It's like adding layers and layers of warm clothing to save yourself from the cold weather. You don’t need to fully accept the ‘amative’ and ‘propagative’ distinction of sex. That is at a higher level. Once you break your slavery to PMO.. you will figure it all out. But it is my duty to put that idea out there. So even if you fail and have an O with your SO you will still be ok as your mind will start thinking of the distinction and some day you both will decide of having a O or not. You will instinctively finish all sex with O. That is all !!!
