I've felt that way many times RG, and am feeling it strongly now. I remember earlier in your journal when you talked a lot about your new place in town, that has lots going on right in the neighborhood. You were really joyful about all that and it seemed to be the big change you had been hoping for. It's frustrating that it didn't work out that way. To be blunt, this kind of wish is similar to the other fanciful, easy-out solutions that we cry for. Kind of like the addicts prayer, God just take it away! It rarely happens that way. Rather, we journey forward through some hardships on the way to a much more abundant life as a result of the work, the trials and challenges. Have you heard of or read a book called "Samson and the Pirate Monks"? It's a great biography of sexual addition and recovery. I think you'd really like it.