I'm also really happy for you, Rugger. You so deserve this place you're moving to!!! Yes, maybe the commitment to change is making the monster fight back, but this is normal, and the only way it will finally stop is for you to stop feeding it. We've let it roar back and defeat us too many times. The endless loop keeps reinforcing whatever negative talk we keep repeating, and the cycle will never end until we rip up that playbook. Maybe that sounds trite after all these years, but I'm trying to rip up my own playbook, and I know we can actually do it. Why? Because we deserve it, we never didn't deserve it, and we've been waiting way too long to get on with life free of this burden. Maybe you found what drives you to keep using, but now that you have done that, the best way to deal with it is to stop using. Whatever made you think you weren't worthy of the success you deserve is just residue from a past that is long gone. Just say to yourself, "I've punished myself long enough. I've always deserved happiness. My life is bountiful." You know it's true, I know it's true. IT'S TRUE!!!