Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by jumptime, Oct 3, 2021.
Left here several years ago. On line stuff has taken a turn for the worse. I welcome your support.
welcome back my brother,
you are in the right place. stay.
Welcome back, jumptime. Maybe you can share a little bid more about yourself and what is happening so the help of the people here can be more specific and suitable to your situation.
Less than a year ago I stopped using porn when I found chat sites. It’s more addictive than porn. It’s not something that I do every week but when I do it throws me out of the rhythm of my life. Today is day one of a reboot that I plan to journal here.
welcome, my brother.
Hi Jumptime, good that you came back and have willing to tackle your behaviour. Look forward to reading about your recovery.
It’s been a month and now with phone in hand I’m about to relapse, shaking like a leaf, thinking I know how this will end. While I’m staking uncontrollably I’m thinking this is like a powerful drug. A few minutes after entering the site the shaking stops and I’m in the throes of the addiction and binge all night. The next day I hurt. It’s always the same painful aftermath. The pain is part of the addiction. The acting out always follows the same pattern: obsessive thoughts, total absorption in pleasure and afterward pain It’s gotten really old.
i'm your age and know exactly what you are going through. i've been doing it for decades. what i do now is play the whole tape through. i know that i am going to get pleasure but at what cost. i feel my pain, remorse, regret, filthy feeling before i indulge. this helps. another thing i do is have another activity preplanned before i pick up the phone or open my computer. whether it is going for a walk/pray while i walk. exercise. read. watch tv. perform the honey-do's that i have been procrastinating. whatever it is, anything beside pmo. the point is to have a go to plan. the most important thing, for me, is to recognize those first thoughts of partaking in porn. that is when to take action otherwise it just snowballs and before i know it i have my pecker in my hand without realizing it. hang in there. praying for you.
Welcome back. The first few days stopping PMO can be really tough (they are for me!). Hang in there. Best,
Thanks for your support. PMO is the whole experience including the aftermath. If only that was really felt before PMO it would never happen. The pain afterward is always at least equal in degree to the pleasure. Badger I appreciate your advice. Before I act out there is a vague feeling that lets me know I’m vulnerable. That’s when the action plan needs to start. Today I will contemplate that and work on finding an action plan that will be able to pull me in a healthier direction.
The cycle of PMO follows a predictable pattern for me. Today is the four day and I’m still tired, remorseful, shameful and sad. There is no risk at this point of a relapse. When I start to feel better the tension will build. And I usually relapse when things are going well but I’m bored. It changes everything for the worse. And then I beat myself up for self sabotage.
remember these feelings when tempted.
Grateful to be sober today and free of PMO.
Is anybody involved with SAA?
Hey @jumptime . Sorry for spamming all the likes, but I am really enjoying the thread, you're talking my language. To realise these before caving, rather than after - that is key.
At this point in the cycle at six days everything is smooth. I’ve caught up on my sleep, am exercising and meditating. The cycle works this way for me. Everything goes swimming until about twenty days when I start to feel vague unease. That’s when the real work needs to begin.
Today I’m grateful to be sober of PMO.
This time a week ago I was enslaved to PMO. Today is a world of difference. The pain or PMO is always equal to the pleasure. The book “Dopamine Nation” explains this really well. If I never viewed another sex site on line it would be too soon. Behind the beauty and pleasure lerks ugliness and pain. It never ends well and never will. It’s a false promise of happiness. It’s a fraud, a liar and a manipulator. There is so much life to live and such little time. Wasting another minute on a sex site would terrible misuse of the preciousness of life.
Its my pray that I may never forget how aweful I felt the last time I PMOed. It was horrible. It’s great to be alive. There is so much to experience. At this point I don’t have time to go backwards. Today I have an exciting day to look forward to. Every minute with PMO is a lost minute. PMO is a theft that needs to be guarded against. It’s a persistent sneaky theft. My hope is that the PMO chapter has finally closed and a brighter chapter had begun.
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