We should Get Hard As A Rock By Simply Kissing A Woman---The Porn Brain Ends Here!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Jeffery_Lives!, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 35- Today I was feeling a bit stressed at a family gathering and being an introvert they can take some energy out of me. I was out in the garage and saw a banner ad with a teen porn star I used to like (had no idea why it's on a mainstream news site something like Buzzfeed)...any way was overcome with an impulse that I wanted to see her nude, so I did a google image search thinking I'd get the curiosity out of my head quickly and move on....CLASSIC EDGING RATIONALIZATION FROM AN ADDICTED BRAIN... I flipped though about 10 images on google image search, the small photos on my phone, and then shut it off after about a minute. I'm not resetting my day count because of this, but I'm close. I can't be using this borderline material at all because it still stimulated my brain and reinforced the addiction pathways and deltafosb. I want to beat this and yes, I can probably look at nude images for 45 seconds and not fall off my goal, but if I do it again in a few days it will be 2 min, then 5 min, then full on video porn...that's how I slide back into my habit every time. SO I'm saying right here, the borderline stuff is not acceptable. It's porn or PLS (PORN LIKE STIMULATION) and it's standing in the way of achieving this goal of an organic brain that I've set out for myself.
     
  2. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 35- Today I was feeling a bit stressed at a family gathering and being an introvert they can take some energy out of me. I was out in the garage and saw a banner ad with a teen porn star I used to like (had no idea why it's on a mainstream news site something like Buzzfeed)...any way was overcome with an impulse that I wanted to see her nude, so I did a google image search thinking I'd get the curiosity out of my head quickly and move on....CLASSIC EDGING RATIONALIZATION FROM AN ADDICTED BRAIN... I flipped though about 10 images on google image search, the small photos on my phone, and then shut it off after about a minute. I'm not resetting my day count because of this, but I'm close. I can't be using this borderline material at all because it still stimulated my brain and reinforced the addiction pathways and deltafosb. I want to beat this and yes, I can probably look at nude images for 45 seconds and not fall off my goal, but if I do it again in a few days it will be 2 min, then 5 min, then full on video porn...that's how I slide back into my habit every time. SO I'm saying right here, the borderline stuff is not acceptable. It's porn or PLS (PORN LIKE STIMULATION) and it's standing in the way of achieving this goal of an organic brain that I've set out for myself.
     
  3. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 36- What's the difference between white-knuckling and active recovery? White-knuckling is using you will power to hold back on PMO while not addressing the underlying issues that drive us to PMO. Active recovery is where you dig deep at the emotional drivers of PMO and take action. For example, I need to take steps to stop traveling (I have an online business) and set up a regular social circle. I also need to take steps to have a woman in my life at some level. Those are two powerful drivers of my PMO and I'm not addressing them well right now. Active recovery improves life by showing you where you are weak and giving you motivation to better yourself. White-knuckling is always precarious.
     
  4. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 39-This is as far as I've ever made it with a no-PMO challenge... the whole stormy Daniels thing with Pres. Trump caught me up a bit last night, I googled her name to see what you look like and ended up clicking on a video and watched a few moments of it, let's say about 30 seconds. I quickly shut it off and avoided a PMO session, but it's clearly behaviors like this that have me close to resetting my counter and relapsing. The key for me to remember is that there is no acceptable level of digital stimulation because it always leads to backsliding into porn masturbation, so every time I flirt with this limit, I get closer to a relapse. No digital stimulation is my goal even if I find myself getting aroused by tinder or Facebook, I've got to start recognizing those moments as critical decision points. I have no woman in my life right now and it's making it harder. I just have to have faith that if I settle down into one city and get my life set up and start being social, new sexual experiences will present themselves.
     
  5. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 1/90 of No Digital Stimulation Rule and Once a week MO (My second Attempt to get to 90 Days)-

    Well, I made it 39 days porn free but last night I had a binge of a couple of late-night hours. Stayed up past 2 AM after being homesick for three or four days and getting bored. A few days prior I was googling things like stormy Daniels and various actresses I like, and although I didn't watch porn videos, clearly planting the seed of those images in my mind is what eventually led to the relapse. It's very interesting, in the moment of a relapse, somehow you convince yourself it's no big deal and that you've been so good for not watching porn for over a month that one little PMO session isn't going to ruin your recovery. But that kind of rationalization is exactly what reinforces the addiction pathways in my brain and makes it harder and harder for me to give up this habit. I might say to myself, look, if I'm watching porn once a month, that is far less than almost every other man in America, but that's not the issue because even one PMO per month reinforces the addicted neurological network in your brain that makes me react so powerfully to porn and less powerfully to real women. That is essentially the problem and nothing else. So my once a month rationale with my porn addiction ignores the basic functioning of the brain. Even when addiction pathways are stimulated once a month, that's more than enough to keep them engaged and subtly controlling your decision-making and response to real women. So, I'm going to reset my counter to day one, although for me keeping track of days is more about journaling than being obsessed with the day count. Counting days isn't particularly helpful, but journaling each day is and it's simply a good way to keep track of what I'm writing. The goal is once again 90 days and this time I think I've realized that Google image searches for actresses in movies I like, even if I say I'm just looking up to see where they were born and how old they are, etc. This is exactly the borderline material that eventually stimulates my brain into desiring pornography so much that I break down and find a way to see it. So it's interesting, I can withstand all of my desires to look up hard-core porn, but because it seems like such an innocuous behavior, I cannot seem to stop googling images of actresses and checking up on models I like on InstaGram. That has somehow turned into my diction right now, the thing I have trouble resisting.... so heading into this next streak I'm going to label my efforts now as no digital stimulation, zero... also, I'm going to set a target of masturbating about once a week, it seems like masturbating two or three times a week gets me into some kind of frenzy where I open up myself neurologically to increased porn desires. Sometimes if I'm going after new girl I will masturbate a lot more to try and put my system in preparation to have sex with her, but it's interesting that I've gotten some feedback lately that I am too focused on sex in my relationships. I think it's important to know that you don't have to fuck a girl you're dating three times a week, I would say it's better to fuck her once or twice really passionately and then get out of the house and do other things so she starts to desire sex. If she's the kind of girl that wants sex every day, you can tease her and say you're going to make her wait until she is ready to explode and then you give her what she wants. I found that focusing on sex in every meet up with the grow your dating starts to get monotonous, the quality of the sex goes down, and you can turn into kind of one-trick pony with an over sexualized vibe... so certainly I don't need to amp up my body by masturbating three times a week to keep up some sort of sexual fitness when I only intend to sleep with a girl I'm dating maybe twice a week, so I'm going to let go of my idea of maintaining my sexual fitness by orgasming so much because the cycle seems to lead to porn. what's most important when you hit one of these relapses is to meditate, forgive yourself for messing up, but also set into motion new efforts to address the underlying cause of PMO and don't let it turn into a multi-day binge where you give up just because of one indiscretion. A multi-day bins will have a far more harmful effect on your neurological healing than a one-day slip up, so you have to forgo the logic of, well I've already messed up so I'm just gonna keep PMO-ing this week. No, your recovery is still coming along, progress is still being made by quickly acknowledging a relapse and limiting it to a one day event instead of a multi-day event. You are still on track if you can do that.
     

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