We should Get Hard As A Rock By Simply Kissing A Woman---The Porn Brain Ends Here!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Jeffery_Lives!, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 1/90 of No Digital Stimulation Rule and Once a week MO (My second Attempt to get to 90 Days)-

    Well, I made it 39 days porn free but last night I had a binge of a couple of late-night hours. Stayed up past 2 AM after being homesick for three or four days and getting bored. A few days prior I was googling things like stormy Daniels and various actresses I like, and although I didn't watch porn videos, clearly planting the seed of those images in my mind is what eventually led to the relapse. It's very interesting, in the moment of a relapse, somehow you convince yourself it's no big deal and that you've been so good for not watching porn for over a month that one little PMO session isn't going to ruin your recovery. But that kind of rationalization is exactly what reinforces the addiction pathways in my brain and makes it harder and harder for me to give up this habit. I might say to myself, look, if I'm watching porn once a month, that is far less than almost every other man in America, but that's not the issue because even one PMO per month reinforces the addicted neurological network in your brain that makes me react so powerfully to porn and less powerfully to real women. That is essentially the problem and nothing else. So my once a month rationale with my porn addiction ignores the basic functioning of the brain. Even when addiction pathways are stimulated once a month, that's more than enough to keep them engaged and subtly controlling your decision-making and response to real women. So, I'm going to reset my counter to day one, although for me keeping track of days is more about journaling than being obsessed with the day count. Counting days isn't particularly helpful, but journaling each day is and it's simply a good way to keep track of what I'm writing. The goal is once again 90 days and this time I think I've realized that Google image searches for actresses in movies I like, even if I say I'm just looking up to see where they were born and how old they are, etc. This is exactly the borderline material that eventually stimulates my brain into desiring pornography so much that I break down and find a way to see it. So it's interesting, I can withstand all of my desires to look up hard-core porn, but because it seems like such an innocuous behavior, I cannot seem to stop googling images of actresses and checking up on models I like on InstaGram. That has somehow turned into my diction right now, the thing I have trouble resisting.... so heading into this next streak I'm going to label my efforts now as no digital stimulation, zero... also, I'm going to set a target of masturbating about once a week, it seems like masturbating two or three times a week gets me into some kind of frenzy where I open up myself neurologically to increased porn desires. Sometimes if I'm going after new girl I will masturbate a lot more to try and put my system in preparation to have sex with her, but it's interesting that I've gotten some feedback lately that I am too focused on sex in my relationships. I think it's important to know that you don't have to fuck a girl you're dating three times a week, I would say it's better to fuck her once or twice really passionately and then get out of the house and do other things so she starts to desire sex. If she's the kind of girl that wants sex every day, you can tease her and say you're going to make her wait until she is ready to explode and then you give her what she wants. I found that focusing on sex in every meet up with the grow your dating starts to get monotonous, the quality of the sex goes down, and you can turn into kind of one-trick pony with an over sexualized vibe... so certainly I don't need to amp up my body by masturbating three times a week to keep up some sort of sexual fitness when I only intend to sleep with a girl I'm dating maybe twice a week, so I'm going to let go of my idea of maintaining my sexual fitness by orgasming so much because the cycle seems to lead to porn. what's most important when you hit one of these relapses is to meditate, forgive yourself for messing up, but also set into motion new efforts to address the underlying cause of PMO and don't let it turn into a multi-day binge where you give up just because of one indiscretion. A multi-day bins will have a far more harmful effect on your neurological healing than a one-day slip up, so you have to forgo the logic of, well I've already messed up so I'm just gonna keep PMO-ing this week. No, your recovery is still coming along, progress is still being made by quickly acknowledging a relapse and limiting it to a one day event instead of a multi-day event. You are still on track if you can do that.

    Porn Free Day 39-This is as far as I've ever made it with a no-PMO challenge... the whole stormy Daniels thing with Pres. Trump caught me up a bit last night, I googled her name to see what you look like and ended up clicking on a video and watched a few moments of it, let's say about 30 seconds. I quickly shut it off and avoided a PMO session, but it's clearly behaviors like this that have me close to resetting my counter and relapsing. The key for me to remember is that there is no acceptable level of digital stimulation because it always leads to backsliding into porn masturbation, so every time I flirt with this limit, I get closer to a relapse. No digital stimulation is my goal even if I find myself getting aroused by tinder or Facebook, I've got to start recognizing those moments as critical decision points. I have no woman in my life right now and it's making it harder. I have to have faith that once I settle down into a city and stop moving traveling around, that I can be social again and have new sexual experiences in my life.... getting over this PMO compulsion is part of preparing for those experiences. so every time I do push-ups instead of googling a porn star's name or an actress's name, I am preparing myself and my brain chemistry for a more fulfilling relationship with a woman, although she is not currently in my life.
    Clearly I am still allowing digital stimulation in my life and in order to really reset my brain chemistry, even these tiny stimulations have to be rooted out, because it involves the whole activation of the search and reward, dreaming up an image I want to see, allowing myself to go out and seek it, etc. even though I only look at the image for 30 seconds with willpower, it’s the whole excitement of the search and reward that is wired into my brain and has to gradually be deconstructed.

    Porn Free Day 36- What's the difference between white-knuckling and active recovery? White-knuckling is using your will power to hold back on PMO while not addressing the underlying issues that drive us to PMO. Active recovery is where you dig deep at the emotional drivers of PMO and take action. For example, I need to take steps to stop traveling (I have an online business) and set up a regular social circle. I also need to take steps to have a woman in my life at some level. Those are two powerful drivers of my PMO and I'm not addressing them well right now. Active recovery improves life by showing you where you are weak and giving you motivation to better yourself. White-knuckling is always precarious.

    Porn Free Day 35- Today I was feeling a bit stressed at a family gathering and being an introvert they can take some energy out of me. I was out in the garage and saw a banner ad with a teen porn star I used to like (had no idea why it's on a mainstream news site something like Buzzfeed)...any way was overcome with an impulse that I wanted to see her nude, so I did a google image search thinking I'd get the curiosity out of my head quickly and move on....CLASSIC EDGING RATIONALIZATION FROM AN ADDICTED BRAIN... I flipped though about 10 images on google image search, the small photos on my phone, and then shut it off after about a minute. I'm not resetting my day count because of this, but I'm close. I can't be using this borderline material at all because it still stimulated my brain and reinforced the addiction pathways and deltafosb. I want to beat this and yes, I can probably look at nude images for 45 seconds and not fall off my goal, but if I do it again in a few days it will be 2 min, then 5 min, then full on video porn...that's how I slide back into my habit every time. SO I'm saying right here, the borderline stuff is not acceptable. It's porn or PLS (PORN LIKE STIMULATION) and it's standing in the way of achieving this goal of an organic brain that I've set out for myself.

    Porn Free Day 33- Self credibility= when that voice inside your head promises to do something, do you believe you'll follow through on it? Self credibility is built slowly... when you tell yourself you'll go to the gym, do you go? When you say you'll get up at 8 AM on Saturday, do you do it? Each day we go through dozens of these short-term self credibility tests. Each time you follow through on yourself promises, you either believe in yourself more or distrust yourself more. Have an urge to talk to a girl? "I'm going to do it!" Did you say hello or turn away when your heart started beating fast? I'm convinced that one of the biggest benefits of the successful No-PMO challenge, is your belief in yourself that you can set a goal and follow through... each time you break down and watch porn, you see yourself increasingly as the person who is unreliable and can't be trusted. And when you see yourself that way everything in life from romance, to business, the health becomes a struggle because you never know what's going to happen? You never know if your plans will become action. It's always ambiguous. SO build up your self credibility, and stick to your PMO goals--- do it for the relationship benefits, do it for the neurological clarity, do it for the extra free time, but most of all do it because you are the kind of person that sets a goal and accomplishes it.


    Porn Free Day 30-I'm one third of the way to my goal of 90 days PMO free. I've slipped up a few times and seen an image of a nude woman, mostly when searching a movie or an actress for a mainstream film and I caught myself knowingly searching for erotic imagery but in an indirect way. Tricks of the addicted brain!! But I've managed to shut it down after a minute or less, so I feel I'm still doing great. At 30 days without porn or a real woman I feel like sex is no longer a part of my life in anyway and I miss it. Going porn free really really shows you that we are dependent on real women to have any sort of sexual experience. Maybe that's the point of NoFAP. Realizing that, and strategizing on how to get more of them in my life... instead of dulling the desire with porn. I've got to keep going. Remember 90 days minimum to reverse the porn linked DELTAfosB. You owe it to yourself to feel organic sexuality from a porn free brain.

    Porn Free Day 24- i'm home sick so I've done a couple of MO's. Just to take the edge off while I'm stuck inside on my computer. Yesterday I googled in mainstream Hollywood actress I like and a nude photo of her showed up, I clicked on it and immediately got hard within seconds, rockhard...in some ways that was encouraging because it means my sensitivity is increasing but it also was a reminder just how tied to my erection mechanism is to digital images. I turned it off and did An MO to get sex off my brain. That's not a great long-term solution, I should use that energy to go out and meet women, but it's winter in New York City and I'm sick so I'll use the MO release for this situation. Otherwise I feel good, I'm coming up on one month off which I've done before, but I've never done it as motivated as I am now to keep going until 90 days.


    Porn Free Day 21-Was up at 2am with insomnia and did an MO to relax. Seems like this is becoming a way to avoid PMO for me since I don't have a woman in my life. I think it's okay for now, but I've got to learn to use my sexual energy to go out and find girls to connect with rather than releasing it in MO all the time. But for now, enjoying the 3 week no PMO achievement, despite the flaws that are becoming apparent in my recovery strategy...

    Porn Free Day 20- Last night I saw an erotic image on a non-porn website, another borderline material. I literally felt my penis tingle without touching it, reminded me how wired I am for digital stimulation right now. Borderline material still pop into my life every few days, but I am remaining strong and not fixating on them for more than a minute. Recovery will be easier without these temptations. I'd say the borderline material remains my biggest challenge to recovery right now, aside from social isolation...so my two challenges are right there laid out in front of me. More of my game-plan to follow...

    Porn Free Day 19- I'm feeling pretty good today. Morning wood has disappeared for a few days. God only knows what cycle makes that phenomena come and go...It seems a good 8 hour sleep schedule before midnight and consuming some healthy fats to support hormones makes a difference. Beyond that, I don't know.... Also, noticing that the PMO compulsion thrives when you are socially isolated. I feel it every time I'm alone for a day or more....I'm realizing just how isolated I've become over the past few years running my own one-man business. It's time to seriously think about ways I can get myself in positive groups of people to support this recovery...another reminder that porn, food, mindless internet, alcohol, drugs.....these are all band aides for other issues in life. Luckily porn and internet is the only thing that I'm into, and it's something I can get over without all the drama of drug/alcohol addiction. I'm starting to see as well that the compulsion and dopamine I get for mindless internet browsing and smart phone use is VERY VERY closely linked to the porn compulsion. To get the porn under control you have to get a grip on other forms of wasteful life-draining tech use. I have an idea call Task Oriented Tech Use, which I call TUTU. Basic idea is every time you turn on a device you ask the question out loud "what's my task?" If you can't answer it, put the fucking screen down. It will help A LOT with porn addiction....

    Porn Free Day 18- Yesterday's MO left me distinctly irritable today and less socially outgoing and talkative with my family members. All this attention to my sexual energy cycles is really illuminating--how many ex-girlfriends have had to put up with my low moods after a PMO session (which had even stronger mood effects than MO)? Also today I googled a movie I used to like called Poison Ivy (not a porn) just to remember the actresses name because I met someone that looked like her--then I clicked on her and a bunch of non-nude photos came up which led me to another link to see some nudes of her. I shut it off after a minute, pictured my brain healing itself, and reminded myself borderline materials have the same effects as porn. I realized that borderline materials have been THE cause of all my relapses for the past 4 years. I often went for 30 days, but always went back to PMO because of the desire created by viewing borderline arousing, non-porn materials.

    Porn Free Day 17- Up late last night feeling horny so I googled some sort of sexual technique I'd heard about on wikipedia...probably hoping I'd stumble on some photo illustrations...that's fine right, it's just curious research? Wrong! It's the porn compulsion showing itself incognito. You have to be on guard for these things. If you indulge borderline materials your brain won't heal, it's the same neural pathways as porn. I shut it off after only a minute or so and did an MO to release the pressure. Feeling high libido today, but very much aware of how the porn compulsion keeps trying to find alternate sources of stimulation. The only one I will allow myself is a real woman...Onwards!


    Porn Free Day 16- Feeling pretty good today, no morning wood so that usually means my libido will be lower today and the urge for PMO will be low too. I'm reminded of some powerful articles I've read about how porn played a role in the violent sexual frenzies of various rapists/murderers...certainly porn doesn't cause crime but you can see how it catalyzes pleasure, frenzy, desire with darkness to lead to some awful shit. Watch this video link and let it motivate you to leave this porn selfish, isolated, compulsion darkness behind. https://fightthenewdrug.org/is-there-a-connection-between-serial-killersrapists-and-pornography/

    Porn Free Day 15- The MO two days ago caused a surge in sexual energy today which I noticed this morning with intense morning wood. This is usually when I'm at the highest risk for relapse, but every time I get the urge I picture the DeltaFosB lodged in my brain just starting to loosen it's hold on my pleasure/reward centers. I will stay strong this time. I want an organic brain that responds to life and women as nature intended. I want that experience...even if it is only subtly different than the porn compelled brain. I'm trying to be realistic about how it will feel at 100 days, and it doesn't necessarily have to be like gaining "superpowers" to be worth it. The biggest reason I'm doing this is to hopefully be attracted to a wider range of girls and not be influenced subconsciously by the porn ancestresses I used to prefer.**P.S. Borderline material such as women's clothing websites, Star Wars Leia Bikini Scene on Youtube, Exercise Videos, Lingerie catalogues in the newspaper---for years this material has been holding me back because it always leads to PMO if not the same day then several days later. Non-nude borderline material stimulates the same parts of the brain as porn, it halts your recovery. DON'T FOOL YOURSELF!!!!!!! Make a list of your borderline material and cut it out. My borderline material:

    1. Sexy photos of my ex-girlfriends they sent me or from their Instagram accounts.
    2. Any sexy Instagram/Facebook feeds, even if it's a girl you know (ask her out on a date or unfollow her already!)
    3. Movie outtakes on Youtube or Vimeo, female exercise videos on Youtube, beach scene videos, sexy music videos, female yoga videos on YOUTUBE.
    4. Occasionally dating app like Bumble or Tinder. You can still use these but you have to see the difference between swiping for porn-like stimulation and swiping for dates.
    5. Any other image, sound file, or video clip that you catch yourself being aroused by will draw you back to porn. The only visual stimulation you can allow yourself is a living breathing person.
    6. I even caught myself looking up things like orgasm on wikipedia...you have to be really diligent in realizing what you are doing for stimulation. It all leads back to porn.

    Porn Free Day 14- Noted this morning that after yesterday's MO, I feel slightly more anxious and negative about my life. I'm learning that orgasm might cause a bit of a "mood shadow" but I still think it's important to do every 7-10 days to keep the system working. One cause may be prolactin, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, that builds up after orgasm...but naming the thing doesn't really matter. We have to observe our own minds. I feel more positive and calm with less orgasms. Also a regular sleep schedule feels critical to getting over PMO compulsion. We have a lot more control of our impulses with regular 8 hour sleep schedule and not going to bed after midnight.

    Porn Free Day 13- I did an MO today to let of some steam, it caused me to be irratitable for about 12 hours after (so fascinating when you really start paying attention to how orgasm affects your mood and energy).. orgasmed quickly within 2-3 minutes on purpose to reduce the dopamine stimulation of the MO for recovery, for me it's an important tool in reducing my drive to use porn so I'm okay with MO's every 8 days or so (this still let's me enjoy the Testosterone peak at 8 days without orgasm).

    Porn Free Day 12- I've often made it to 30 days PMO-Free, but even after those wins part of me has always held on to porn as an option for stress, amping up low libido, and insomnia...so I have never gotten much past 30 days and never experienced much change in my mental states. Many of us make valiant efforts at 30,60,90 day streaks but you always know when you've truly made a decision that porn is no longer an option and when you are still holding onto borderline material like Youtube, etc... Porn has been a light habit for me for the past 3-4 years, usually only viewing about once per week, but I can still absolutely feel it's affects on my mind for at least 2 days after a PMO---so don't fool yourself into thinking you don't have a problem if you PMO only once per week. I've recently made the decision to truly no longer view porn as an option for dealing with life and emotions because recently I learned that it takes 90 days at least for the porn-linked DeltaFosB accumulated in our brains to dissipate so we can experience a more natural sexual response. I haven't felt that EVER in my life because I have been PMOing for over 20 years! What a waste! I usually get to 30 days PMO free, get into a flatline and go right back to porn, but I have to get to several hundred days to feel the effects of a porn free brain. So here we go!

    I am now committed to experience life without porn linked compulsion and sexual response. It takes a minimum of 90 days to even approach that. Six months ago I was dating a real life genuine lingerie model in Los Angeles, but driven to novelty by porn and unbalanced libido, I flew off to London to try to sleep with another girl and lost the one I was in love with back home. Was it fate, my natural sex drive, or was it porn that caused me to do that? I'll never know. We owe it to ourselves to experience our natural, organic sexuality so we can EXPERIENCE our DESIRE FOR WOMEN THE WAY NATURE INTENDED. NOT bonding with the pixelated ghosts of women on screens. PEOPLE OVER PORN! Choosing a woman to spend your time and/or life with is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS in your life. DO you want to be influenced by porn in that choice? ...either by visual preferences or in emotional response---porn has subtle effects in your dating choices....
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2018
  2. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Jeffery, and welcome to YBR! Love your enthusiasm! Just remember why you started this when times get tough. They will get tough, some days the urges may be so bad it takes all your energy to resist them. But as you said, living a free live without porn and getting back to a more organic sexuality is completely worth it. Wish you the best and will see you at 90 days, and beyond!
     
    Jeffery_Lives! likes this.
  3. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Welcome Jeff. Yeah, a day at a time we we try to stay sober. I think there are many gifts like peace and clarity of mind. I've found out that a lot of people don't get sober long term here. Why? Because its hard!! But we do reach a point where we need to do more work, besides journaling. Why do we struggle with this more than the average person? Therapy is not enough either. Its important to dive into this past and build an ENTIRE new way of life. For me personally, SLAA meetings, sponsor, phone calls, friends with the same problem (real life, not just on this forum), are very helpful. And how I act out in public..not chasing girls, but also being way more of a gentleman with customer service than I have been in the last few months.

    I am HOPING but developing a new way of life that I am able to slowly figure out, or let it be figured out for me, the next career, place to live, etc etc.

    Stay the course brother..
     
    Jeffery_Lives! likes this.
  4. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 15- The MO two days ago caused a surge in sexual energy today which I noticed this morning with intense morning wood. This is usually when I'm at the highest risk for relapse, but every time I get the urge I picture the DeltaFosB lodged in my brain just starting to loosen it's hold on my pleasure/reward centers. I will stay strong this time. I want an organic brain that responds to life and women as nature intended. I want that experience...even if it is only subtly different than the porn compelled brain. I'm trying to be realistic about how it will feel at 100 days, and it doesn't necessarily have to be like gaining "superpowers" to be worth it. The biggest reason I'm doing this is to hopefully be attracted to a wider range of girls and not just the ones that remind me of the categories of porn I used to prefer.
     
  5. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Not chasing girls? Are you in a relationship?
     
  6. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Thank you! I can't seem to load my counter badge, just says loading on setup page?
     
  7. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 15- The MO two days ago caused a surge in sexual energy today which I noticed this morning with intense morning wood. This is usually when I'm at the highest risk for relapse, but every time I get the urge I picture the DeltaFosB lodged in my brain just starting to loosen it's hold on my pleasure/reward centers. I will stay strong this time. I want an organic brain that responds to life and women as nature intended. I want that experience...even if it is only subtly different than the porn compelled brain. I'm trying to be realistic about how it will feel at 100 days, and it doesn't necessarily have to be like gaining "superpowers" to be worth it. The biggest reason I'm doing this is to hopefully be attracted to a wider range of girls and not just the ones that remind me of the categories of porn I used to prefer.**P.S. Borderline material such as women's clothing websites, Star Wars Leia Bikini Scene on Youtube, Exercise Videos, Lingerie catalogues in the newspaper---for years this material has been holding me back because it always leads to PMO if not the same day then several days later. Non-nude borderline material stimulates the same parts of the brain as porn, it halts your recovery. DON'T FOOL YOURSELF!!!!!!! Make a list of your borderline material and cut it out. My borderline material:

    1. Sexy photos of my ex-girlfriends they sent me or from their Instagram accounts.
    2. Any sexy Instagram/Facebook feeds, even if it's a girl you know (ask her out on a date or unfollow her already!)
    3. Movie outtakes on Youtube or Vimeo, female exercise videos, beach scene videos, music videos, yoga videos on YOUTUBE.
    4. Occasionally dating app like Bumble or Tinder. You can still use these but you have to see the difference between swiping for porn-like stimulation and swiping for dates.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2018
  8. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 16- Feeling pretty good today, no morning wood so that usually means my libido will be lower today and the urge for PMO will be low too. I'm reminded of some powerful articles I've read about how porn played a role in the violent sexual frenzies of various rapists/murderers...certainly porn doesn't cause crime but you can see how it catalyzes pleasure, frenzy, desire with darkness to lead to some awful shit. Watch this video link and let it motivate you to leave this porn selfish, isolated, compulsion darkness behind. https://fightthenewdrug.org/is-there-a-connection-between-serial-killersrapists-and-pornography/
     
  9. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 17- Up late last night feeling horny so I googled some sort of sexual technique I'd heard about on wikipedia...probably hoping I'd stumble on some photo illustrations...that's fine right, it's just curious research? Wrong! It's the porn compulsion showing itself incognito. You have to be on guard for these things. If you indulge borderline materials your brain won't heal, it's the same neural pathways as porn. I shut it off after only a minute or so and did an MO to release the pressure. Feeling high libido today, but very much aware of how the porn compulsion keeps trying to find alternate sources of stimulation. The only one I will allow myself is a real woman...Onwards!
     
  10. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Hmm... shouldn't be doing that. Have you tried using another browser?
     
  11. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    I have, oh well...
     
  12. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 18- Yesterday's MO left me distinctly irritable today and less socially outgoing and talkative with my family members. All this attention to my sexual energy cycles is really illuminating--how many ex-girlfriends have had to put up with my low moods after a PMO session (which had even stronger mood effects than MO)? Also today I googled a movie I used to like called Poison Ivy (not a porn) just to remember the actresses name because I met someone that looked like her--then I clicked on her and a bunch of non-nude photos came up which led me to another link to see some nudes of her. I shut it off after a minute, pictured my brain healing itself, and reminded myself borderline materials have the same effects as porn. I realized that borderline materials have been THE cause of all my relapses for the past 4 years. I often went for 30 days, but always went back to PMO because of the desire created by viewing borderline arousing, non-porn materials.
     
  13. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    I used to think the same. My first gf was my longest relationship (5.5 years) and there was a lot of drama due to my depression, for a big part caused by excessive masturbation. But yeah, the past is the past. The next woman will be made a lot happier so I like to think that as we mature and work on ourselves, our relationships will become better and better.
     
    Jeffery_Lives! likes this.
  14. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    It's an investment in relational harmony---no amount of porn pleasure is worth relationship hell.
     
    Thebeg likes this.
  15. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 19- I'm feeling pretty good today. Morning wood has disappeared for a few days. God only knows what cycle makes that phenomena come and go...It seems a good 8 hour sleep schedule before midnight and consuming some healthy fats to support hormones makes a difference. Beyond that, I don't know.... Also, noticing that the PMO compulsion thrives when you are socially isolated. I feel it every time I'm alone for a day or more....I'm realizing just how isolated I've become over the past few years running my own one-man business. It's time to seriously think about ways I can get myself in positive groups of people to support this recovery...another reminder that porn, food, mindless internet, alcohol, drugs.....these are all band aides for other issues in life. Luckily porn and internet is the only thing that I'm into, and it's something I can get over without all the drama of drug/alcohol addiction. I'm starting to see as well that the compulsion and dopamine I get for mindless internet browsing and smart phone use is VERY VERY closely linked to the porn compulsion. To get the porn under control you have to get a grip on other forms of wasteful life-draining tech use. I have an idea call Task Oriented Tech Use, which I call TUTU. Basic idea is every time you turn on a device you ask the question out loud "what's my task?" If you can't answer it, put the fucking screen down. It will help A LOT with porn addiction....
     
  16. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 20- Last night I saw an erotic image on a non-porn website, another borderline material. I literally felt my penis tingle without touching it, reminded me how wired I am for digital stimulation right now. Borderline material still pop into my life every few days, but I am remaining strong and not fixating on them for more than a minute. Recovery will be easier without these temptations. I'd say the borderline material remains my biggest challenge to recovery right now, aside from social isolation...so my two challenges are right there laid out in front of me. More of my game-plan to follow...
     
  17. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 21-Was up at 2am with insomnia and did an MO to relax. Seems like this is becoming a way to avoid PMO for me since I don't have a woman in my life. I think it's okay for now, but I've got to learn to use my sexual energy to go out and find girls to connect with rather than releasing it in MO all the time. But for now, enjoying the 3 week no PMO achievement, despite the flaws that are becoming apparent in my recovery strategy...
     
  18. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Do you use sexual fantasy during MO?
     
  19. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 30-I'm one third of the way to my goal of 90 days PMO free. I've slipped up a few times and seen an image of a nude woman, mostly when searching a movie or an actress for a mainstream film and I caught myself knowingly searching for erotic imagery but in an indirect way. Tricks of the addicted brain!! But I've managed to shut it down after a minute or less, so I feel I'm still doing great. At 30 days without porn or a real woman I feel like sex is no longer a part of my life in anyway and I miss it. Going porn free really really shows you that we are dependent on real women to have any sort of sexual experience. Maybe that's the point of NoFAP. Realizing that, and strategizing on how to get more of them in my life... instead of dulling the desire with porn. I've got to keep going. Remember 90 days minimum to reverse the porn linked DELTAfosB. You owe it to yourself to feel organic sexuality from a porn free brain.
     
  20. Jeffery_Lives!

    Jeffery_Lives! New Member

    Porn Free Day 33- Self credibility= when that voice inside your head promises to do something, do you believe you'll follow through on it? Self credibility is built slowly... when you tell yourself you'll go to the gym, do you go? When you say you'll get up at 8 AM on Saturday, do you do it? Each day we go through dozens of these short-term self credibility tests. Each time you follow through on yourself promises, you either believe in yourself more or distrust yourself more. Have an urge to talk to a girl? "I'm going to do it!" Did you say hello or turn away when your heart started beating fast? I'm convinced that one of the biggest benefits of the successful No-PMO challenge, is your belief in yourself that you can set a goal and follow through... each time you break down and watch porn, you see yourself increasingly as the person who is unreliable and can't be trusted. And when you see yourself that way everything in life from romance, to business, the health becomes a struggle because you never know what's going to happen? You never know if your plans will become action. It's always ambiguous. SO build up your self credibility, and stick to your PMO goals--- do it for the relationship benefits, do it for the neurological clarity, do it for the extra free time, but most of all do it because you are the kind of person that sets a goal and accomplishes it.
     

Share This Page