Day 7 I just dont believe I am being able to get to day 7 without PMO! First I sorry for any mistake. English is not my language. I also thank to all the people at the forum for the help I ve received. And also for the inspirings narratives I ve read. And i thank Gary Wilson as well for the way he explained what the fuck was going on on my body. Just a few days ago I was dealing alone with all this shit. And I didnt know what to do. I ve tried therapy (family constellation) , meditation. It helped me a lot. But I needed to understand the chemical process and read the journals at this forum to find a way to go for a solution. I am 46 yo and masturbate for a loooong time like most people here. And things became out of control last years with high speed internet and all that tons of porn we already know. It was so hard the addiction (actually i should say it IS) that even being aware that i was ruining my life I just couldnt find a way to quit. It is my first week and still there is a long walk to walk. I am a pilgrim so i am used to walk step by step. One day after the other. What I ve learned after 7 days? First 3 or 4 days were quiet easy. I fell a kind of lethargy but not so strong. And I was surprised because I thaught it should be harder. Day 5 I have the first surprised. At evening i felt my mood changing suddenly and i almost relapsed. I came to the forum and ask for help and read other people journals. I found an excellent breath exercise at John4mylife and I did it. (thanks, John!)., went for a walk and slowly calmed down. Day 6 was very hard. I couldnt sleep at night. Felt headache, anxiety, depression. Really bad. Not cravings. Just physical symptoms. Today is doing ok. A bit lethargic and smog thinking. I learned that changes can occur at any moment so I MUST be totally present, aware of what it s happening in my body. I also learned that there is a forum where people can help me. And it works! I am also doing meditation in early in the morning and also at night. It s helping me very much. I m doing Osho technics which are more active and so I can go really into the meditations. I try to have a walk every day. Stopped drink alcohol. I drunk a little bit the first days and felt that it doesnt work. I am very aware at the way I look at girls I meet during the day. I am realising that i have a kind of porn way of looking that triggers me. I wasnt aware of this "porn looking" until a few days ago. It was just a normal way of looking at beautiful girls. It is not! I mean, one thing is appreciate the beauty. Other different thing is scann a girl an fantasize about many aspects with this girl. This scanning is a waste of time and energy and triggers me. Same thing occurs with other sexual stimuli. Photos, magazines, etc. I am being very careful about what i m looking at and how this stimuli affects me. I am tottally prioryzing ths reboot process so I m not doing anything that can generate extra stress. Just normal activities. One more thing: i talked to a friend of mine about what s going on. It was hard because i felt ashame. He is older than me and is not addicted. He felt tottally surprised at the beggining. He just didnt know anything about this addiction and thaught i was kidding. I ask him to look YBOP site and so he understood perfectly. We agree to talk and I also can call him in case of urges. I know that we have virtual help here. But REAL help is also welcomed. I reccomend to have a REAL help as well. What else? Ah! There is A suble thing also and I find it important and try to exolain. I am feeling that I am kind of fighting and blaming porn he whole day. It s normal after becoming aware of how many time i wasted with it. But i feel this is not sustainable to keep my thoughts into this vibe. I m wasting energy by fighting and blaming. And I cant change my past. It was as it is. So I am trying to think in a different way. And accept porn addiction and look positively at it. For example, now I have the chance to learn meditation thanks to porn addiction. I am becoming very aware of what is going on into my body during the day, i am knowing much more about my sexuality in this last week than on my whole life. It s hard to think positively about porn. I m trying. And I m feeling that when I think this way i feel better and stronger than when i fight and blame. This is my first week report. Tks!