Hey Yearofchange! Yes I'm doing well! I haven't posted on the forum in a while because of an up and down month in October. I relapsed 3 times on that month. But this November I am doing much better. My sexual relationship has been improving steadily with my girlfriend and I'm accomplishing goals in that department of my life. I still been updating my spreedsheet and I am really proud of this month. I still have trouble with peeking, however I noticed that P isn't as stimulating as it used to be. I'm trying to go back to my first months of no PMO - NO PEEKING. I am currently reevaulating NOFap and setting new goals. My erections are fine and improving. My DE is improving. However I need another strong goal: which might be the idea that I want to be guilt and gross free. But everything is good. I am happy. - Deezy
Thanks RenewedHeart! I had PIED when I first tried to have sex at age 19. It was a number of reasons why my erection didn't work: Porn, general first-time anxiety, and an un-supportive partner were the major causes of this problem. But now - 7 years later - holding back from porn and developing a trusting relationship with my partner def HELPS, if not CURES, the PIED/PIDE. Keep up the no PMO! I find it hard, now, that even with sexual success I struggle to stop peeking at times. However it's important to remind ourselves of the progress we made and goals we want to fulfill! I'll check out your journal too! - Deezy
Alright time for another update! (warning possible triggers) This could've been a success story, but I think this post is much more than that. I had penetrative, vaginal sex on Sunday with my girlfriend. I woke up next to her and my boner was at a massive 100%. After some foreplay and lube, I managed to stick a 90% hardon inside her and we slowly grinded for about a couple minutes. I did not come; I did not stay hard for very long; I did not get hard again for penetration. My girlfriend, the supportive person that she is, managed to give me a hand job, blowjob, etc and made me come after a long period. Unfortunately, what had me reach orgasm was a thought of a P-star. As we know, I've been peeking and relapsing a lot more these past few months. I've def slowed down my recovery by doing that; and my sexual experience with my gf confirmed that I should start taking my recovery seriously again. The past few days I haven't peeked at all, nor am I even curious. It was a let-down when I couldn't penetrate her and I felt really crummy. But, on the positive side, I did manage penetration. And I know, I've experienced, that the rewiring process is soooo important and, at times, really slow. It takes a lot of patience for you and your partner, and that is difficult. I know that handjobs and blowjobs didn't "feel good" or "make me orgasm" until much later when my body got used to the sensations. I'm sure that vaginal sex will require the same process; my body just needs to get used to it (I had failed sex about 8 years ago, which was my only "vaginal" sex experience I had until now). I got cocky peeking at P knowing that I could come to a HJ or BJ. However, I noticed my erection quality was weaker the more I looked a P and M. One more thing not relating to P: The night before I tried a drug that spikes serotonin and dopamine levels. So when I did have sex with my gf, that could've affected my erections. Anyway! I'll write a success story when I have great, penetrative sex with my girlfriend. It's true success when sex feels good for BOTH of us Best - Deezy
Growing Success! So since my last post I stayed away from peeking at P and Ming. And the result has been fanatastic! I had lasting sex today - penetration in two different positions. I didn't come because I didn't have a condom on; but I could feel sex. I still have some DE, but I was able to last much longer than last week. I was able to O to HJ/BJ. I'm having a growing confidence and true success story (if not one already) is coming shortly. Staying away from P, trusting my body, and going through the motions of rewire = keys to the cure. - Deezy
SOOOOOO I posted my official success story on the success section! Check it out! I'll still be using this journal as a guide for my NoFap/ No Porn process. Thanks anyone who reads this thread. And huge thanks to you who follow and comment on my journal - Deezy
Back again. This time, I want to take a quick note that I'm going for 90 days. Haven't had a streak passed 70+ days. My sexual drive is up and down, and I started a new spreadsheet for 2017. January was a rough month (relapsed 3 times). Even though I was able to write a success story, I did find myself failing at sex a few weeks later. I was able to O to HJ and BJ. But vaginal sex is still a work in progress. Again, the journey is not linear. And I'm still, and forever will be, commited to a NOFAP life style. I'm on two week streak, and things are looking great! I have a lot of experience from last year's journey. I'm enjoying life...and remind myself that porn does not help happiness. It damages happiness. - Deezy
Glad to hear you're doing alright Deezy No worries on the sex, like you said it's a work in progress Glad to hear you're still committed to the journey!
