So the first thing you need to do is take a gander at my counter and realise how long this journey has been. Then you can read this post and make some analysis. Sorry for the long read, skip to the bolded if you want to avoid the backstory. Suffice to say porn is no longer an issue. I see opportunities plenty of times, like girl X was featured in Y video but the curiosity isn't sufficient enough to check it out. Occasionally I stumble upon some nudity, sexual imagery etc but it doesn't garner any arousal. In fact it's almost comical, like an old friend I can't believe I used to hang with. I see high quality modelling pictures, and instead of desiring these women I see carbon copies of girls trying to achieve the same effect (Blonde/Brunette with big tits and ass fishing for followers on instagram). Twerking? Today's most popular attention whoring format. Yeah there are some real natural beauties out there on the internet you can stare at (when they're not wearing makeup anyway), but will you ever make love to them? No. Will you even meet them and exchange greetings? Highly doubtful. Ergo they're not even worth the worship (something many a male needs to learn). I continued to abstain to the present day because I set out to never masturbate again, instead getting my orgasms solely through women. My opinion of orgasms is that they are one of the most powerful forms of pleasure, and I'm a firm believer in the concept that pleasure is something to be worked for. And let's be real, masturbation requires no effort whatsoever. Acquiring a sexual partner on the other hand... Anyway PMO served two purposes: 1, it was a buffer between activities. I was on the computer a lot, so it just seemed natural. 2, my history with women was, without detail horrendous for someone my age. So, I would browse porn to fulfill my desire to get off on "hot women" and when it wasn't the porn it was to girls I had feelings for but didn't have the balls to do anything about (Read: Coping mechanism for being single) I accepted this situation for a while; 6 years to be exact. There's more to the story but it's not relevant to to thread, all you need to know is: a) My life was shit b) My method of turning it around was to add more fulfilling things to my life, and remove things I considered noncontributory. Masturbation AND Porn I wholly considered noncontributory, but deemed the former necessary. Once I learned there were many out there who had gone over a year, I threw this concept out of the window and began the life I've lived for the past 1000+ days. I had other reasons for quitting, desensitization for example but they're not relevant here. All you need to know is I saw quitting porn and masturbation as an essential ingredient to become who I wanted to be. Moving on: The purpose of the thread is thus: For a long time there have been no problems. I went a long time without sex or even handjobs, 339 days to be exact, with only had the typical flatlines and urges to deal with. After those 339 days I had occasional orgasms with different women, with lapses no longer than 2 months (accompanied by wet dreams at least once a month), each instance being just like that first year. However I'm in the middle of a lapse of sex now, 3 months so far but this time it's different. Why? I'm not single. I have a girlfriend who's long distance, very comfortable with her sexuality and I myself have for the first time become more comfortable with mine (I've never met anyone like her), ultimately resulting in us arousing ourselves every day...however not to the point of orgasm. Why do I not orgasm? I don't want to. It doesn't feel right. I guess it once again comes to down to my ambition of only orgasming through women and my philosophy on instant gratification (Orgasm = ultimate pleasure, I want to feel like I worked for it). I didn't pay much heed to this, AFAIWC these activities were merely bonding activities/very extended foreplay before the real thing. But after doing this so many times and with no wet dreams giving me a release, I think it's had a consequence. Basically I feel a lot of pressure in my posterior, and today was the second time in a couple of weeks I took a dump and some prostate fluid leaked out my urethra. I swear my urination and bowel movements have increased too. This is of course disconcerting, especially today as this pressure refuses to subside since I had blue balls all yesterday afternoon. I have brought it up with my partner, who has seen no need for me to withhold orgasm from the beginning (she even encourages me to climax, but I refuse each time) and now I'm starting to feel like I should, regardless of my reluctance on the matter. But I want to discuss it with peers beforehand. Maybe a visit to the doctor is in order too. So please, respond how you want, any input is appreciated and don't hold back. Just be objective, speaking of which: As an aside, some of you may question the potential fallacy behind what could essentially be edging on a regular basis being on my "moral compass" but not climaxing...I see pleasuring myself to her as "I am really drawn to this woman and I want to feel physically connected to her". You could say she has had an effect on my own sexuality...and yet my feelings on orgasms remain. To me edging is a definite no-no if it's to porn and it takes a up a good chunk of the day (I stop myself after 5 or so minutes because I get bored or it feels too good), this just seems what normal couples do when they are away from each other. Maybe you'll disagree. Also there's no need to comment on the LDR. I have wanted to move since my first vacation there ended and I will be fulfilling that dream in 27 days so it will cease to be an LDR at that point. Thanks for reading and being honest. No religious bias please.