Thanks 100DaysMission and cjm for the supportive words, that's a great help! It's very much appreciated. 100DaysMission: It's kind of you to say, but I don't feel very disciplined. That's actually a big problem for me... I'm an extreme procrastinator, which has caused me nearly as much grief in my life as porn has. In fact that's one of the major realizations I've had in the past month, that I may be "addicted" to procrastination in addition to porn (I realize that I'm using the term "addiction" more and more loosely all the time, but oh well) and that both self-defeating behaviors completely feed into each other. Seriously though, PMO has probably always been my favorite way to procrastinate -- and procrastinating for hours rather than doing work frees up a lot more time to PMO! It's awful. I used to think "I have more willpower than most people" until I realized I couldn't seem to stop watching porn even when I didn't want to, couldn't cut down, etc. So now I've realized I'm not a very disciplined person. I can't even describe it exactly, but I'm not feeling super interested in porn right now, not the way I usually am. That's great though, because it means that not watching doesn't feel effortful. No one can maintain a strong, all-out effort forever. My goal is to move on and not watch porn any more -- ever, for the rest of my life, so I can't base that change on sheer brute-force effort. Has some permanent change happened to me, to my way of thinking (and most importantly, in my behavior)? I'm not sure yet. I really hope so. And if some permanent change actually has happened, how the hell did I get here? I'm even less sure of that. I've been trying to quit, on and off, for about 20 years. It's hard to believe this is really "The Time", really "it", once and for all. All I can say is that I've definitely become less interested in the things that porn offers me, and increasingly interested in the things I could get (or have missed out on) aside from porn. cjm: Thanks, and it's great to find a fellow Gang Starr fan -- there's a lot of wisdom there, I think. You ask a fair question and the truth is I'm not sure exactly how long it's been. Personally I might not say "abstained", since that sounds to me like planning to go back again. But as far as how long it's been, I'm trying not to keep track. It was some time in mid-April -- so some amount of time over a month. I'm really not concerned about how long it may have been, because I'm interested in the future. I have to go on a rant here, forgive me, but counters haven't helped me with this problem at all. They may work for others, I don't know, but I've never kept one because that always felt like counting up to the next relapse. It also makes it seem like everything is over if/when you do relapse. The closest I ever came to having a counter was when I first found out about NoFap about 2 1/2 years ago, and heard about the 90-day window for supposedly fixing everything. I immediately gave it a try and somehow did manage to go the full 90 days without watching porn (I would define that as abstaining, because I definitely had urges at times and would have to white-knuckle through them with tremendous effort). But on day 92 or so, soon after reaching my "goal", I relapsed and binged about as hard as I ever have before or since, to a seriously unhealthy degree. It actually kind of put me off even trying again for a while after that, just because the crash was so scary. Upon further reflection I realized that the 90-day rule, or however you want to refer to it, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Some people may only need a few weeks to get over this, or a few months, whereas it will probably take me a year or more if I ever do. If I haven't watched porn in 1 year, preferably 2, and haven't been craving to for a lot of that time, then I'd feel like I may have made a real change in this behavior. I still think I'd need to be pretty careful even after that -- the potential triggers are always going to be there. I realize that some people are looking to take a break from PMO -- for 90 days, 60 days, 30 days or any other specified period. That could make sense, given their situation. I'm at a point where I want to move on to a new phase of my life, which no longer includes PMO. I wouldn't even necessarily say I'm trying to quit, because that's still defined by the addiction. But the only time-frame that really matters to me, is from now until the end of my life. Gotta wrap it up for now but I'm going to continue later because I want to address the other thing you said, cjm, about how porn warps our sexuality and the implications of that. That's so true, I've started to realize more and more just how great of a loss that is.