tymbles' tumbles (51)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by tymbles, Apr 7, 2012.

  1. tymbles

    tymbles Guest

    Re: tymbles' tumbles [0 days since last accident]

    Okay... I have not done well the past few days. Several relapses, didn't even check the forums 'cause I was kind of ashamed and also, I think I wanted to continue looking at P. I learned a few things that I can work with to make this attempt more successful.

    • Spending 90% of every day alone, at home, bored and on the computer has to change. Keeping an environment like that is just asking for trouble. This is kind of difficult to fix because of my situation right now, the job should make things easier, but I don't want to wait around for it to start. There are some small things I can do in the interim, like doing more cooking and reading.
    • When I made it to 77 days I had openDNS blocker running on my computer. Or at least, I thought I did, turns out openDNS is pretty temperamental. Having that blocker there created a barrier in my mind though, so I've installed K9 protection, which should help. The amount of crap I have to go through to get P on my screen now isn't even worth it. Though, that's never stopped me before. I also set it to block the internet after 12. I'm not usually on the internet that late anyway, but it just helps cement away late night browsing. I might even make it cut off sooner than that.
    • I have to find some way to deal with my feeling that I'm 'missing out' by not watching P.
    • None of the above matters if I don't strengthen my resolve, and make the difficult decision when the cravings come.

    It's day 0 today. I've been all talk so far, but I'll prove my worth this time. It's all uphill from here.
  2. tymbles

    tymbles Guest

    Re: tymbles' tumbles (9)

    Yeah, you could be right. Without experience positive dopamine it's kind of hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wouldn't even know where to start, I don't know anyone right now! But I guess I could put more effort into arranging something. I mean, when my friend was dating someone, he found it much easier to abstain (when it was going well anyway). He just completely lost interest in P.

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