Hello, I'm tymbles. I'm 20 years old and have been PMOing since I was 12 or so. Things started off pretty innocently, but like all porn addicts my tastes distorted over time. I have always been ashamed of my habit, but things didn't really come into focus for me until I found YBOP about half a year ago. The escalation, the lack of desire to socialise... it all made sense. I realised that I was numbing my brain, warping my view of women and ultimately, using PMO to allow me emotionally check out and ignore my problems. I decided to try noPMO, but for whatever reason my resolve fizzled quickly. I made it only 14 days, and afterwards I pretty much forgot about the whole thing. Around Christmas time I got serious. I convinced a friend to try it with me, and I went no PMO for 77 days, but following an accidental O (embarassing...) I relapsed. The accidental O was unfortunate, but I believe that I would have relapsed even without it. I had been allowing myself to get depressed and spiral, and in my world, there's no better band-aid for depression than PMO (or so my brain would have me believe). I've been off the wagon for a few weeks now and I'm struggling to get back on it. Hence, I came here. My mood is rock bottom right now, which is making it harder for me, but it's no excuse. I have to get serious and get away from PMO. It is truly toxic. I don't believe that I'll ever get to a point where I can MO safely. My goal is to abstain for life, and my battle starts anew tomorrow. I appreciate any and all support, and will try to support others to the best of my ability.