Turning my life around

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by RavagerGintoki, Jul 28, 2019.

  1. RavagerGintoki

    RavagerGintoki New Member

    (tldr - start of my journey posted all my problems and action plan for first week)

    I don't really know how to start this but here goes something. I'm a 27 year old who's life is all types of fucked up with no one to blame but myself. This is gonna be my final chance to salvage my 20s. I firmly believe if I dont fix this shit now Ill live a life of unhappiness. Here is my situation I wont explain details just whats wrong right now:

    -Addicted to porn since high school cant remember the exact age. longest I've gone without porn is 5 days.

    -I'm almost a 100 percent sure I have PIED but no way to tell since I'm a virgin.

    -living with my parents. I have been doing odd jobs after college since I was unable to get a proper job in my field. Currently I am enrolled in a CS masters which starts next semester.

    -Afraid to talk to girls. I literally have never flirted with a girl and can count on both hands the number of girls that I had some form of friendship with. Basically I'm a virgin because I was too scared to try.

    -No social life currently, every time I get some form of social circle going I ruin it in a depression downswing and just end up ghosting some people who were really cool.

    -All types of mentally fucked up. I have constant anxiety. I wasnt able to get a job with my degree and feel as if the same thing will happen with my masters which will lead me to be a huge loser forever. I don't have many social experiences with friends or intimate relationships and the regret has been killing me. online forums and internet have fucked me up even more and now I am just scared of the world and feel as if I'm not good enough. I have panic attacks almost every morning.

    But I want to change so bad, the regret is the worst part and I don't want anymore. I don't know if anything will get better and I personally don't think it will. But I just want to try and know that I tried my best to become the guy I always wanted to be. Basically I will be posting my progress so I have something to hold me accountable and god if somehow this works out then others in similar situations will have another detailed story of how one guy was able to change himself. I will probably post weekly in the beginning and then transition into a monthly thing.

    So this weeks plan.

    - No more PMO
    - Start going to the gym, I am super skinny 145 lbs 5 11.
    - I will be working with a professor doing machine learning and data analytics next semester so I have to learn some more things in Python. So do one lesson a day that should finish up the course that I started.
    - Eat healthy, I don't have a garbage diet so this one shouldn't be too hard.

    Wish me luck everyone and I hope everyone else also succeeds in solving their problems and achieving their goals. I really wish the best for everyone even if my shit never gets solved.
     
  2. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Welcome !

    I hope this forum may be of some help to you, whether that is in finding some inspiration, some new ideas and a sense of support. There are a lot of good guys on here working on various problems in order to grow.

    I think it's cool you've identified stuff that you find doesn't work in your life. This gives you a project to work on :)

    27 is a good age to work on improvement. You're still young and full of energy yet you have more experience then at 20.

    Best of luck !
     
  3. RavagerGintoki

    RavagerGintoki New Member

    Thanks for the support. I definitely feel more confident that I can stick to this, at some point the regret just becomes too much. Outside of that today went really well! This forum hopefully helps keep me accountable. So thank you to everyone who is reading my posts it makes me feel like everyone is watching lol.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  4. JD1981

    JD1981 Member

    I too just started using this forum because I’m just done losing my life to this addiction. I’m ten years older than you so it feels good to me to know your starting ten years earlier me. Ten years is a long time so way to go!!! You know without a doubt the feelings we have going into a porn binge are terrible and following a binge session, there is no other feeling like the guilt that hits. SUCKS!!!!! I don’t know you but it sounds like even though you have these depressing feelings you have accomplished a lot. So a total guess but if you look back yes you have these bad moments but you must also have moments of triumph and victory. For me I have been stuck in the addiction rut and have half heartedly tried to quit because I hate feeling so depressed but if delete all the bad and try to find bright spots they are there and those moments felt so good. So could you imagine beating this addiction and doubling those good feelings and saying adios to the depression and guilt. Easier said than done. It’s going to be a tough road but it worth it and your worth it. We are worth it!!!
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.

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