Turn on the light

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by guntrex, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Hey guys

    First of all sorry for my grammar, english is not my native language.

    This is my first post after 2 years of absence probably.
    I come here in moment of solitude, my wife is away, visiting her parents.
    I am amazed that everything is the same it was 2, 3 years ago when I was active member.
    I was trying so hard to quit. I remember feeling miserable late at night, reseting relapse counters, writing journals, trying to hit 100 days mark, analysing every single aspect of one and only thing here PORN https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography :).

    What a waste of time...

    What cured me is a gradual change in my daily routine. It was probably a moment when I started my internship, my first real job after college. I was forced to be more social. Then I remeber when I saw a girl that I liked constantly liking some retard bodybuilder guy gym instagram photos. It made me to start going to gym, I gained some muscles and started feeling better in my body. Yes I quit the gym but confidence stayed with me and I started seeking real relationship. I was rejected many times, few times I had a succes.

    And I didnt quit porn, I quit attempts to quit porn.

    I stopped visiting nofap forums, I gave up this whole thing. I started slowly to live in real life.
    I was out of my comfort zone, one step at the time.
    And that road of selfimprovement led me to amazing girl which is now my wife, a woman of my life.
    I guess I can say that I had a luck finding a person who saw real me (not the porn addict I thought I was). She was supportive when I told her about my porn "habbit", she didnt think its a big deal.
    I relaxed and soon after that our sex life became great and relationship bloomed.

    2+ years later
    I have build strong CV, working for 2 top companies in my profession, I am married and expecting a baby boy, I quit respected managerial position in great company to start my own business... so many things happened.

    I just feel like I am living now the way I should all my life, I am in control, pursuing my dreams and enjoying in little things. I became confident men who is capable of achieving his dreams and creating my own destiny.

    As for the addiction, right now I dont believe it exist and never was.
    I stopped giving shit. I watch porn sometimes (when my wife has a period, not in a mood...) but guess want, the rest of menhood is doing the same thing.

    Its important to value real relationship and sex first.
    Porn is just an excuse to your other problems.
    More than 6 billion people on Earth, endless possibilities to meet exiting people, to see new places, to try new things...

    Only 1 life, start living it the way you should!
     
    GokuSSB_XMAXX likes this.
  2. Fortune20

    Fortune20 Member

    Congratulations on the baby boy and thanks for your story ... Hopefully I can make strides like you eventually
     
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    You were never addicted to porn and this is not a success story of a porn addict, other than that great post.
     
    StarWarsFan, ace1234 and Libertad like this.
  4. Wmhatcher21

    Wmhatcher21 New Member

    Wow, this is such a great post.

    You said it all man.

    With self-belief, you have taken control of your life and found meaning in the most important thing of all: your relationships.

    There's so much to take apart in this post but your self-compassion is evident. Your willingness to risk failure to progress is inspiring. I can't agree with you more about quitting "attempts to quit porn": porn addiction as way to avoid thinking about much more difficult things is a very valuable insight that everyone can use.

    Have no fear, this man was definitely a porn addict. The person who left the comment above is still very afraid to confront their doubts and fears I suspect.

    I feel my story and your's has some parallels. I too have met the woman of my life as you put it. I hope our future continues in the direction your's has taken.

    Thanks for the wisdom.
     
  5. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    I'm very inspired by your post. Congratulations on building what sounds like the life of your dreams!

    I think there is no "one size fits all" approach to life. Some people find one thing helpful, some find another. People are at different levels of addiction, and some have been struggling with it for many years.

    One of the things I like about YBR and similar forums is that it gives people who are hopelessly trapped in addiction a chance to glimpse many other guys' experiences, understand they are not alone and get encouragement.

    Success stories are an important part of that. Thanks for sharing yours! I'm truly happy for you and your beautiful family.
     
  6. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Thank you guys.

    I was definitely living in a porn haze for most of my 20s. If you dont believe just check my older posts here, they are pathetic.
    But this forum helped me a lot, I agree with you
    . But dont use this forum too much, it will keep your chained to your so called addiction.

    I wish you all the best to find a right way to live better life.
     
  7. shattered

    shattered Member

    Yes, I believe there are millions of normal people who can enjoy porn recreationally with no negative consequences.

    Unfortunately, I've always used MO and P to escape reality.
     
  8. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Just visiting this place again, more than four years since my last bump :).
    I literaly forgot url of this site, I had to google "No Fap forum" to find it.
    Its amazing how the time flies, I forgot name of the place I used to visit almost every day. I still remember reading Underdogs journal and things like that :D.

    I read my original post, more or less nothing change, in fact I think I am in much better place than 4 years ago.
    I am established small business owner, married, 2 incredible boys are now center of my world. I think overall, I am in the happiest place and time in my life, in every segment (emotionally, sexually, financially) I feel like over-achiever when comparying to others (not that I need comparison to feel good in my skin).

    I re read responses on this thread, some said I wasnt porn addict. I couldnt disagree more, I am and I will be addict probably in my senior year until biology kicks in and I lose interest in sex :).

    With that said I think we are maybe first generation of men that was struck with high-speed internet addiction and we make big deal out of it. If I manage to straight out my life, even with ongoing addiction, so can everyone and its not that big thing. Most important thing is to continue self development and everything else will come in to the place.

    I noticed that the my sex life is just getting better, my wife and I are more that 5 years in marriage and I feel like we enjoy in our connection even more as days go by. Porn and masturbation never gave me that much satisfaction like orgasm from real intercourse, when both of us are in the mood, not even close. Sometimes I still resort to porn, cause I have high sex drive, I would never cheat my wife, so this is alternative but it never interferes with my regular life, I dont enjoy it really, its just a way to release energy and it doesnt turn me away from real thing.

    So if thats all, I can live with that for the rest of my life, no big deal.

    Enjoy your life guys, its short and time goes fast :)
     
    Pete McVries and GokuSSB_XMAXX like this.
  9. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    I call bullshit. You say you watch porn when you're woman is on your period. That's messed up dude. Don't promote porn on the website. A lot of problems for a lot of men stem from watching pornography. Some people lose their jobs because that's what they decide to do at work. Others don't go to work at all and get fired. Others lose their marriages because the wife finds out and tells the man he's cheating on her.

    Posts like yours piss me off because it shows you never put in the work or struggle most men have on here to achieve results.
     
  10. Kuhn

    Kuhn Member

    That quote under your name is throwing up some major red flags dude. Women and men aren't different species. We're all human.
     
  11. Kuhn

    Kuhn Member

    I have no doubt that your experience was crucial towards turning your life around, but your story lacks critical information. You mention that you stopped going to nofap forums. But then you say you started to 'live in your real life', 'stepped out of your comfort zone' and 'went further on the road of selfimprovement.' that's fine and dandy, but you fail to mention WHAT you actually did! It would have been far more helpful if you gave one or two accounts of actual actions that fell under these banners.
     
  12. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    I dont get it. Its seems like you didnt understand my whole point. I was addicted to everyday PMO and I spent multiple years on NoFap forums since I realised that addiction has taken my life. I was active member like you, focused on one thing alone, QUITTING PMO. After I switched focus from PMO fight to real reasons why I started watching porn and masturbating daily since my puberty then I started to improve and to BEAT ADDICTION. And I find it disrespectful that you claim I didnt struggle to achieve results? What are your results? What is definition of success for you? 100 days without PMO?!

    I went from unemployed graduate who was doing PMO every single day for a decade, with very little experience with girls to happily married guy, with two beautiful boys, owner of succesful business, living with woman of my dreams and our sex life is just getting better each year we spend together. I always choose real interaction over PMO, my libido is a its peak and I dont beat myself when I casually masturbate.

    I was watching few weeks ago local highschool prom and I recognize myself in a few shy boys who you can tell have low selfesteem and experience with girls. Its like all clear to me now, I wasted many years cause my inner insecurities led me to PMO addiction, I am proud that I was able to transform my life by taking small but brave steps at a time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2022
  13. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Ok. These are concrete steps:
    1. I was always skinny. I started going to gym, gaining weight and muscles. It was easy, in few months I was in good shape.
    2. I was unemployed, sending CV to companies with no luck etc. After landing my first job I started gaining confidence in my abilities and proffesional education. After changing few jobs eventually I quit permanent contract in order to start my own company. So in terms of career I went from desperately seeking any job to quitting respectful job to risk and build start up. It payed off!
    3. I was shy guy with girls. Always in some sort of unreturned platonic love to girl which was already taken. I lost virginity with a hooker. Dont regret it, it was more like a relief. That lead me to active pursue of real thing insted of PMO every single day. I got rejected many many times, few times I was succesful in terms of getting laid and starting some sort of relationship. I really didnt know what I want from a girls until I found the right person, dream partner for me. We had our ups and downs in last 5+ years but I always know that she loves real me and I love her. BTW I was open to her about my addiction at the start of relationship, her understanding and not making big deal out if it helped me a lot to quit PMO. It just became thing of a past, I probably masturbate less that average healthy male since I am married and have regular sex life.
     
    Kuhn likes this.
  14. Kuhn

    Kuhn Member

    great update, thanks. it sounds like your life is really rolling. out of curiosity, what kind of field do you work in? and did you study for it?
     
  15. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Thanks, yes I didnt imagine life to be this good in my 30s (especially in my rocky teens/early 20s).
    I cant say exact business cause I want to stay anonymous, but its a small scale production in food/drink industry. Its in my field of studies, not exactly my major but I managed to turned hobby into a real job. So I live from doing the thing I love and its not a job for me but endless source of satisfaction and obssesion. Probably that also helped me a lot, I found real passion for something and turned that into a source of income.
     
    Kuhn likes this.

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