Friday 14th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. I meditated this morning, then I head headed out to do some work. In the afternoon I went to the library to send some emails. I watched a UFC fight on YouTube, and did some online banking. Then I came home, had a steak and went to boxing training. I had a good hard training session then came home and went to bed to do some reading. Days without watching TV: 6 Days without watching YouTube : 0 - I watched UFC fight. Saturday 16th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. I meditated this morning. Today I have been doing pushups all days in sets of ten or less. I estimate I've done between 100-150. I went for a two-hour walk in the afternoon and listened to a podcast. I cut my Dad's hair after that. Today I read a couple of reboot accounts from guys who said that full recovery may take up to two years. I don't know if it will take that long but I think 90 days is just the beginning, maybe the minimum. But so what if it does take 2 years? We want to be free for the rest of our lives, not abstain for 90 days then go back to being addicted. Sunday 17th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 89. Today I went to boxing training in the morning. Then I went out to lunch with my parents. In the afternoon I did some reading and took a nap. Days without watching television: 9 Days without watching YouTube : 1 I've been very clean the past three days or so: no peeking, no fantasizing, no rubbing the sheets in the morning. Monday 17th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 90: I did it. It feels a bit anti-climactic because I peeked a couple of times last week. I can say wholeheartedly that there have been six or seven times that I looked at anything remotely triggering. On two occasions I looked at Reddit and then around five YouTube videos I've watched with women in them. But zero hardcore pornography and zero masturbation. I don't feel ready to write a success story because I haven't experienced a huge transformation. But maybe I'll do a second 90 days. My next goal is to get to 100 days After that I will aim for 120 because it's nice round number. I'm still not waking up with a boner. I'm proud of myself that I made it. It was a 98% 'perfect' streak. But screw perfection, tenacity is the goal. I will go to bed tonight content, knowing I achieved something I once thought was impossible for me. Tuesdays 18th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 91. I've been doing well these past four-five days. I haven't had any peeks at YouTube. I haven't had any cravings at all. Today I mediated in the morning as soon as I got up. I watched some YouTube videos in the morning on boxing. I did my meal prep for the day. I went to plan my lessons this afternoon then I taught my evening class. My energy was goods and I think my enthusiasm rubs off on other people. I looked in the mirror today and thought I look a bit better. Something I can't put my finger on -smoothness of skin, or the eyes or posture - I'm not sure. On a a scale of one to ten I feel my happiness level has jumped about half a point in the past 7-10 days. I was never depressed but it seems like inside my head it's sunnier now. Even though I'm on day 90 I don't feel recovered. I feel I'm about half way. Maybe I need to go to 180 days. Wednesday 19th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 92. Today I meditated in the morning. I went for a 90-minute walk in the afternoon. I went to boxing training in the evening. I watched some YouTube today but I didn't look at any television. I didn't have any carvings or desires today. Thursday 20th January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 93. For the past seven days I haven't had any lust enter my life: no thoughts, no erections, no women on screens. It's been a perfectly clean week. I'm sleeping a lot these past few week and I'm finding it hard to get up in the mornings. That could be due to my brain and body still doing some healing or it could be simple laziness. For almost 19 years non-stop I masturbated and looked at porn so maybe I did do some damage. But I know the amazing healing power of the brain and body. Staying on this streak gives me optimism for the coming year that a lot good things will come my way. Today I realized that I'm lying to myself saying 'I'm not watching television' while watching YouTube and Amazon prime movies. It's all on a TV screen. Friday 21st January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. I slipped a little when I visited the Twitter page of an adult star. I couldn't see any images - it was all text. I didn't find it arousing all and started to think all the attention-seeking and scandalous tweets were a bit pathetic. I have been in a funk all day, feeling tired and apathetic. I know it's from too much screen time. My goal this year it to reduce information consumption and screen time . I'm pretty good but already but I want to get it really low. I know when I read too many books, surf the internet too much, watch too many YouTube videos, read too many articles and forums, etc., I don't sleep well and my brains feels fried. I end up unfocussed and lethargic. I need to use the same strategies I used to abstain from porn to reduce my information consumption. Saturday 22nd January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Day 94 or thereabouts. I haven't had any fantasies for cravings today. I'm still not waking up with an erection. I'm still not waking up early in the morning. More than anything, I haven't experienced any huge life changes so I want to hang on and see if any come. Sunday 22nd January 2022 I didn't look at pornography today. Another clean day. I didn't have any cravings or desires. Today I picked up my Dad's iPad to take a look at something and I saw in his history that he had visited some porn sites recently. I am the last person to judge anyone for this - I was addicted to pornography and masturbation for about eighteen years . Now I feel empathy towards any person who looks at pornography. It's a highly potent drug and doesn't discriminate - young/old, low income/high income, good people/bad people. It's free and accessible to everyone now. I was reading a book called 'Choose Yourself' by James Altucher today this line jumped out at me: 'Don't have sex with anyone you're not in love with' Wow. That stopped me in my tracks and made me think of all the women I pursued and had sex with because of lust. And how pornography is ALL about sex between people who are not in love. It made me think that to recover from this addiction we need to re-connect love ands sex. As sex addicts we have lost sight of that connection.