Transferring your energy

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by TheNightfly, May 23, 2019.

  1. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Member

    I have read that being free if PMO can give you more energy and motivation. Has anyone used their frustrations into something productive? I’m my usual tired fat self. I would like to take it out on my wife in bed but she has zero interest. What have you immersed yourself into to transfer the time and energy you used with porn?
     
  2. selfdiscovery

    selfdiscovery New Member

    Just about anything else that is part of your life...hobbies, music, reading, walking, religion, whatever. Anything that redirects our inner addict from seizing the opportunity to gain some more control over us is worth doing. A real biggie....turn off the computer. I have tried to live by promising myself that if I have nothing important to do on the internet, turn the thing off. Have I always stuck to this? No...otherwise I probably wouldn't be here, but yet it's a goal to shoot for.
     
  3. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    It does. I think of it like this: porn is like constant yelling, big city noise, or loud music. The real pleasures in life are like a symphony. Symphonies are dynamic by design... there are slow and fast parts, quiet and loud parts, happy and sad parts. They're hard to listen to in the car for this reason. If you're used to loud noises, you can't appreciate the symphony. But, create a quiet space for yourself, and suddenly the symphony becomes the most beautiful thing you've ever heard.

    It takes time, though. Lots of rebooters will try to get into music, exercise, meditation and other things to take the place of porn, but porn is such a massive, blunt instrument that nothing actually replaces it. When you abstain, then it leaves space for the other things to move in in its place, and that is when the magic happens, when the frustrations become more productive.

    Since you used the terms "tired" and "fat" to describe yourself, maybe the health oriented reboot methods would help? Boost your energy and metabolism, diet and exercise and all that stuff. Once you start seeing real results, that stuff can be really motivating.
     
  4. Tyr

    Tyr New Member

    Find something in alignment with your personality.

    Martial Arts is great - get fit, learn to defend yourself and loved ones, take out aggression, meet (usually) great people. Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, Judo, Boxing, Kickboxing/Thai Boxing, Wrestling - all great pragmatic arts.

    For the more creative side of things I play chess and create small electronic projects.

    Also mindfulness meditation, if you've never meditated it's probably not what you think it is - in a very rough manner of speaking it's development of a type of mind-control (via awareness). A good place to start is an app called 'Waking Up' by Sam Harris.

    The fact that your wife takes zero interest is a major problem. If you dedicate a large amount of time pursuing excellence in 1-2 domains her attraction will likely grow toward you.
     

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