Too Late to the Party?

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Saville, May 15, 2016.

  1. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Well-Known Member

    Never forget -- although the guys who run the show there wish we would -- that the entire NoFap movement began as a challenge on Reddit many years ago to replicate the Seinfeld episode "The Contest."
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  2. axebattler

    axebattler Member Staff Member

    Nothing wrong with that.
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  3. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    So, if you're climbing a mountain, and you fall down, did you fall completely down the mountain? Or did you trip during a certain part of your climb, and land a short distance away? There's a big difference between the two, as well as what you need to do, depending on where you see yourself having landed:)
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  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Great analogy! I'm now seeing it as just a stumble, a skinned knee. :) Thanks, bro'.

    I did not know that. It seems there is a Seinfeld episode for everything. lol I had a friend who used to bring up Seinfeld a lot when we were chatting. Personally, the show never jived with my vibe. ha ha Maybe it's because I never lived in NYC. I find most shows that take place in NYC are kind of smug: "look at us, we live in the best city ever!" I love visiting NYC, but it stinks, it's noisy, and it's dirty. Wow, I'm on a tangent. :D I do love the museums and theater though. I guess each place has its thing. My own little hamlet is boring and filled with people who are excited because they went to the mall. We have our own type of noise. Sometimes, when I'm sitting out my deck enjoying a beer, I also get to enjoy the sound of lawn mowers, weed whackers, leaf blowers and hedge trimmers. o_O
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  5. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Well-Known Member

    I live about 90 minutes from Boston and while they are mortal enemies, people of Boston and NYC share a lot of similar traits. When I was in rehab back in 2014 in Southern California, there was a woman a few years younger than me who was from Long Island and we were the only two people from the Northeast. People used to sit there and marvel how we would talk to each other because it was so condescending and so full of insults...yet we absolutely got along. There's a sarcasm and negativity to the language here that I think a lot of people don't understand if they didn't grow up with it. What comes off as smug animosity is really just everyday communication.
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  6. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Reminds me of me and my fraternity brothers, JS. If you didn't know us and our history, you'd think we'd had it out for each other. Nothing further from the truth. You need to be inside the circle to appreciate what's going on inside it:D
  7. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I know that kind of friendly banter that sounds more like taunting and insults well! :) I was only referring to TV shows that take place in NYC, not the people, just to be clear. I also love Boston, it's a city one can really walk around and the history there is something else. I've spent a lot of time in both cities and always enjoy myself. I had fantasies of living in the big city, but I guess smaller places suit me better.

    Nothing to report on the PMO front. I'm feeling decent and keeping myself active. I do feel a bit of the blahs, but nothing overwhelming. It could just be all this covid bullshit and all it entails. Yesterday was the first day in a long while where I didn't need a nap, so that's progress. ha ha
  8. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Well-Known Member

    The napless day.... that's like finding a unicorn.
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  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Had sex with the wifey. :) It had been almost two weeks since our last romp and it was fun. With one of my kids home due to the pandemic it's not as easy to find alone time. I've always fantasized when having sex with the wife, that is until I found this place. But, over the past year I lapsed back into the habit of imagining other people and/or porn scenes. Today I tried my best to stay present and it is honestly so much better. Instead of making cumming the goal I just allowed myself to enjoy. This is rather hard for us here, because we've lost touch with parts of our joyous selves. Anyway, good start to the day. :)

    I'm not working at all, at the moment. My workplace shut down. Because of the nature of what I do I don't even have "at home" work to do. My income has taken a hit, but I'll be fine. So, because I have no place of employment to go to I need things to do; one can only watch so much TV. Everyday I give myself three things to accomplish. They can big or small. I usually take a 5 mile walk and I count that as one thing. Next I might do the windows, or tidy the garage, or work in the yard...that kind of thing. I fucking hate where I work, anyway, so perhaps this is a good time to reassess the next few years before I become completely decrepit. I've lost a bit of weight, but I think my career as a super model is out. Dang! I think I'd do well in commercials where they need a fat, bald, goofy looking older man. :D Patrick Stewart seems to still be getting gigs and he must be close to 80. I have to say, though, I was hoping for better with "Picard." Maybe they can use me in the second season as the ensign who gets killed after five minutes of screen time.
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  10. Matt2020

    Matt2020 Member

    Ive finally caught up with your journal Saville so thought id say a quick Hi and thank you for your input on my journal. Its much appreciated.

    Never say never :D
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  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Matt!

    LOL Time to rock my speedo, if I can find where I lost it in my ass crack. :D :eek:

    Feeling more energized, more clear headed now I'm not MO'ing. Did feel a bit sinus-y this morning so I injected some clorox into my veins and I'm all good now; it's like I've gotten freaking super powers!:rolleyes:

    I actually went for a bike ride today and it felt good aside from the fact that my knees hurt. Guess being overweight and in my sixties might have something to do with that. Still, I can get a boner without drugs so I guess I'm doing pretty good. I remember reading about a Spanish Director (maybe Bunuel) who said that losing his libido in his early 70's was one of the best things that ever happened to him. At the time I thought WTF! But, being a mere 9 years from 70, I think maybe that is something to look forward to. I dunno. What I do know is that since giving up PMO I've had pretty decent sex.

    Early on one guy wrote on my journal, I think it was wabisabi, that I needed to love myself. I'm still not sure what that looks or feels like, or if it is even important. I mean, it sounds good, right, but maybe we don't need that. Maybe when we can look at the sky, feel the wind on our face, and that makes us feel some contentment, then that is where we are meant to be at.
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  12. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    that's all part and parcel of loving ourselves, Saville:)
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  13. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    It is :)
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  14. Matt2020

    Matt2020 Member

    Haha - i cant get that in the UK so will have to settle for Cillit Bang :p

    You've mentioned sinus issues previously and the use of a sinus rinse.
    I've done this for a few years and it definitely helps but you also said about adding drops of iodine. Do you still do that and is it more effective?

    Im also finding this tricky.
    In the book 'You are a Baddass" by Jen Sincero, she ends each chapter with 'Love Yourself', but doesnt say how! lol
  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Thanks NCBob and Gil!

    Yes, I still find it is effective. Just before Spring, and a couple of months afterward, I always suffer with sinus stuff. The salt-water rinse did nothing, but the iodine helps break down the bio-film where the little critters lie doing their dirty work. But, you must be cautious how you use it. You must use J. Crow's Lugol solution 2%; it is food grade and non-toxic. The other stuff people use on their cuts and bruises is absolutely toxic. Then, you must use only a drop or two. If you use too much, as I have done, you will be clutching your face in agony.:eek: I also use one of the salt packages with it. I tried baby shampoo, as well, and it also worked, but I didn't like all the bubbles coming out my nose. lol Hey, maybe Trump and I can get together and start a medical school! o_O

    I think happiness/contentment with oneself is a by-product of how we operate our days. If we do some of the things that call to us from inside then we will feel better about ourselves. Most of us stifle our creative impulses. And, by that I don't mean we are all artists, waiting to burst forth, but rather we can imagine something richer than what we're doing. I read somewhere that most people are "homeless in their own minds" and I think that is a great description.

    Perhaps when we can really feel love and empathy for others than those same things will be bestowed upon ourselves. I suppose that state would be one of grace.
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  16. GreyHeron

    GreyHeron Active Member

    I believe that these two are opposite faces of the same coin. I am expecting that as I develop in one area I shall too develop in the other. That brings me on to something that I read at the weekend, I feel that makes me sound like the drunk who overshares at the bar. We need to show up and take the action and occasionally the exercise feels worth it but we continue because deep down we know what has to be done.

    Peace and every good
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  17. Matt2020

    Matt2020 Member

    Why am i now picturing Bunsen & Beaker from The Muppets?! ;):D
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  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Just watched an episode cause I had no idea who they were. I watched one where Beaker had his head carved into a pumpkin. Cool stuff and now I'm adding it to my pandemic watch list.:cool:

    On a bizarre note, I was talking to my daughter about weird people when my wife piped up and said "like when that woman who was in love with you called here." Holy fuck, did that ever make my head start to spin. I was furious that she would bring it up after all those years and especially in front of our daughter. I mean, wtf! I felt off-kilter for about a day a half, as it brought up all that awful shit from the past. :mad:

    Anyway, feeling pretty good. Trying to lose weight, as always, and doing what exercise I can. I'm getting a bit tired of walking around the neighborhood, but what'cha gunna do?
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  19. Matt2020

    Matt2020 Member

    Did you react at the time or bite your tongue? Was the women, one of those you had a fling with?

    I just caught the end of some trashy chat show for women and they were talking about revenge for affairs. There was the usual woman who cut her husbands suits up, another gave away his expensive wine collection. Then another said that her revenge was never letting him forget!
    How awful is the latter? It would just cause tension for ever more. and whats the point in that?

    Glad you're feeling good.
    I'm also trying to make the best of lock-down and hope to be at least a bit fitter and healthier by the end of it.
  20. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I said "why would you bring that up?" She said "I was just thinking about it." I said "well, next time keep your thoughts to yourself." Not the best way to handle things, especially since I thought I had that stuff dealt with. My wife says things casually like that, though, and then goes on like nothing has happened. She throws a grenade into the room, watches it blows up, and then denies that she had any hand in the devastation. If my daughter hadn't been there it wouldn't have felt so bad, but it made me feel embarrassed all over again about my cheating. I told my wife some years ago that I was not going to hear about my cheating anymore, nor any snide remarks about it. She had the opportunity to kick me when I was down, which she more or less she took, and now it's off the table for good. She took me back, she decided to stay with me. Obviously I know that some part of her will never be over it, just as I never will be, not entirely, anyway. I still have times where I shake my head in private and think "what the hell was I thinking?" But, as I've written down a lot I simply didn't have good coping skills. I was a people pleaser who had to appease, please, every matriarch who ever existed. Thus ends my rant! Phew! :) I told her yesterday that I didn't want to hear any more "off-hand" comments to something that happened many years ago now - of course, she apologized, because she had her fun and is a bitch! Yes, the woman she referred to is one I had an affair with. Wow, that felt good to get it all out. ha ha :D

    Thanks bro'. I find losing weight SO hard. I eat sweets and chips at the end of the day, which is my down fall. I have visions of myself as a skinny person, which is probably not realistic. It is not solely for reasons of vanity, either. I think I need to lose weight for my health, cause I'm not getting any younger. :(
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