So for the past 7 days, I had done great. Wife had sex with me on Day 6. No O due to PIED. Today I majorly relapsed with what I think was a drawn out chaser effect. I start over today and will attempt Hard Mode for a good two weeks to avoid chasers.
Spin. Best of luck with your new goal. I know how tough it can be to stop. You seem to savor having a very personal connection to your P choices. Without getting into many details, I can very much relate. I also at times had very personal connections to the girls in videos and photos I obsessed with. and they also clearly enjoyed sharing themselves personally with me. It def creates very unique emotions and makes it potentially even harder to walk away. BUT in the end - it’s ALL the same. You are sucked into a prison of not being there for yourself, your family or your friends. And needing increasing intensity to get off. You are not IN THE REAL WORLD. And not truly living. And most importantly - you are not giving your wife what she also needs and deserves. At some level - we all must admit we make our SOs abuse victims by our compulsive unhealthy behavior. Stay strong! You can do this! You said you quit P before. Well focus even harder this time, as creating a secret world with subjects you know can def be a tough challenge. But you can do it! I am so far. And I have been involved with MO, FMO and PMO for 50 years. Each day will have its battles. You need to remind yourself how much freer and happier you will be living in the real world. And how much more satisfying your love and overall marital life will be by conquering this evil disease. Try reading whack and easy peasy for some added strength and motivation. you got this!
Today my wife runs a ton of errands. Taking kids everywhere. She is gone for about 4 hours total during this time. Before, I would sit around and wait for her to leave so I could PMO the entire time - 3 to 4 times. This will definitely be a trigger day. As soon as she begins to get ready, I am going to follow her out the door and head to the gym. I have been taking testosterone and T3 to boost my system a bit. Maybe lean out and get some endurance back. Just making it one day feels so good. I realized to day that today is all that matters. Tomorrow will matter when I wake up. I see everyone meeting their goals in here. I am not jealous. I just can't wait to finally get there. To break these chains.
