I've been keeping a journal over at NoFap but their counter display is broken so I thought I'd try here too. I've a long history of porn use, since I was a teenager way back before the internet. I'm more a fan of soft-core stuff, but I need to stop. Partly because it is so out-of-kilter with my beliefs and what I stand for, partly because I sink way too much time into it, especially when I am stressed at work and so could be usefully spending the time on more productive things, and partly because of my wife. Through my life she's either turned a blind-eye to my porn use, or tried to accept it as part of me, but now we're older it is really eating away at her self-confidence and so she needs me to stop. But it's not easy. I've tried all sorts of things, and even managed to give up porn for a little under two years, but after each spell of abstinence I come crashing back into porn. And it is amazing – especially after a long absence. This time feels different, and I hope it is. The three main differences are that I’ve started by researching the harm done by the pornography industry to those involved. I do not want to be a part of that. I’ve found these online communities where we can give each other such valuable peer support I’ve read up about the processes at work in my addiction. It never occurred to me that masturbation is part of the problem – I’ve always viewed it as healthy and even as a way to dissipate sexual tension and thus help me keep away from porn. This time I’m trying a 90-day masturbation free reboot. I know this will be a long process and I realise that I will always be addicted to porn. But I hope, with the help of people here, that I will be able to keep away from it forever.