It's awesome that you faced an urge/temptation and battled through it. Reviewing the list you made of the negative consequences was a great move that took a lot of effort. The wave of urge/temptation came and crested, and I hope a trough is waiting for you where things relent and you can rest when it comes to those temptations. Just before reading your post my wife left unexpectedly with the kids on errands/lunch. My first thought was to PMO, my body shook a bit and I felt my brain go through a rush. Reading your post was one of the things that kept me from relapsing a few hours ago. Thank you brother! What do you have to lose in talking with your wife about your sexual relationship? Would she be willing to work on it with you and maybe a counselor? If she has stayed with you thus far I think it's really unlikely that anything bad would come of you acknowledging the issue with your wife, taking away some of its power. What if you told her you aren't satisfied with the way things are, that you want to work on improving things, and even ask if she's willing to help? In fact I think you have so much to gain in her eyes and esteem if you are acknowledging a problem and leading an effort to change things to benefit both her and you. If you begin working on the problem with her, that will also take away the fear of failure. You can plan for the possibility and discuss alternatives of how to sexually please and serve each other. Not as an ultimate solution but a plan to move forward together. I'm don't like my kinks either. You're on the right track of coming to terms with them and even learning from them. I read a book by Jay Stringer called "Unwanted", and his unorthodox premise is to follow your lust and it will give you some answers/explanations. For example, my lust for dirty talk in porn likely stems from verbal abuse I received from my mother growing up. It's a relief to have an answer other than me being perverted. From there, I can process it all differently than wallowing in shame or just accepting my fate and PMOing to chicks cursing a lot.