This morning, the wife announced that she's going out for a few hours and in that moment, I felt a brief trigger. I sensed a window of opportunity for some uninterrupted P viewing. Now she's left the house I feel anxious and jittery, but I am not going to look at P. Doing so, would only provide temporary relief. And by looking at P I'd be hurting our relationship and my self respect - and of course afterwards, I'd feel really bad about it. Instead, I will sit with these feelings of anxiety, let them wash over me and try to understand the message. A few days ago I identified that I felt anxious about certain tasks that I had been putting off for ages. I managed to make a start on those tasks (the low hanging fruit) and I'm certain it made me feel better, as over the next few days I felt less of a need to escape. Am also conscious that I need to start addressing some of the deeper underlying issues that came up in previous therapy sessions. Feelings of abandonment and defectiveness.