Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by dig deep, Aug 6, 2017.
OMG, I just had my tea go up my nose! Bwahahahaha! Hilarious, brother!
Relapsed yesterday. Watched porn sub youtube videos and also porn fetish fantasy MO for about an hour.
I was feeling a bit tired,bored and unmotivated and I was waiting to go out later in the day and it was so easy to just sit in front of the computer and aimlessly surf the net and one things leads to the other and it happen,should of switch off the computer and done a bit of tidying,reading or be active, funny how you think of these things after.Not feeling bad in myself just disappointed, to be honest I don't feel any different than if I had had a quick MO, but I have to hold myself accountable and admit I did something I don't want to do anymore,I crossed a line I didn't want to cross and that's part of the recovery instead of making excuses that in doesn't count.
On a positive note I did complete 53 days of no PMO my best streak, but I have decided to remove my counter as I don't think really serves a purpose anymore.
Have you thought about quitting both, MO and PMO?
53 days is awesome. And what you said about to hold ourselfs accountable is a huge step.
You can do it, man.
Hi lib your a single man do you ever MO,in this long streak your on have you ever MO or have you been totally clean.But your right I should quit MO keep my male power
I havent MOd during this streak. I have had two wet dreams with O during it. No M and no P.
I have had adrenal Fatigue with Depression, very low Energy, Exhaustion, fibromyalgia for years and in parts I still have it put it is a little better than it was. So I decided to give up both, because it can be very detrimental with this condition, instead of sleeping, to Edge for Hours and than O every day. With adrenal Fatigue you have to find a way to preserve Energy as best as possible. I take a few supplements like amino acids, Omega 3 oils from algae, thats where the fish have it from, a few Vitamins and minerals to restore my Health. And it seems to work, but it takes a long time and I´m still in the process and think that it will take like 2-3 years more.
MO never gave me the same pleasure as PMO, and because of that, when I MOd in the past, I startet to PMO again after Hours or days after MOing. It seems connected to me, not only with the same pathways who lit up in the brain, but also in my thoughts, like when I did MO, the step to PMO is not so far any more. I used to Edge for Hours, sessions of 3-4 Hours till I O and this like 5 to 15 times per week. Looking back, I can only be gratefull for the rest and Peace I have now during the nights, I Sleep like 7 Hours every night with no Problem. I think good rest plays a big part in healing the Body and mind.
As you mentioned it, I´m still single, but nature seems to find a way to release the seemen if necesary without that we have to take an active part in it.
What I have also done over the last few weeks is to meditate for like 15 minutes before sleeping, there is a good Meditation from Jesse Lee Peterson out there, it is called: Be still. It goes like 15 minutes and I have found it very helpful to calm my mind and Sleep well afterwards and I do not watch any movies of violents or crime before sleeping any more. So I can calm down from whatever bothered me during the day. Dont laugh, but at the moment I watch an Episode from the series: Little house on the prarie before sleeping.
I think our last thoughts before we Sleep are very important and they decide if we Sleep well or if we have nightmares. For addicts like us, laying in bed and not beeing able to Sleep with the possibility to watch porn in reach is dangerous. So one way to avoid a relapse is to find ways to Sleep without interruptions. Take care. 53 days sobber shows yourself that you can do it. It is up to you.
Thanks for the great reply Lib really appreciate it. I will do the no M,from what I've read and watched and also on peoples journals it speeds up the recovery in terms of mood and energy. Jerking off does lead to fantasy even if its partly based in real life which lights up the wires and then your craving porn.Also Lib well done on your good sleep pattern and diet, good sleep = feel good,good diet = feel good, feel good = no need for porn.
Well I've just got back from a 29 mile bike ride and I'm feeling knackered but a good knackered so my journey to a better healthier life continues, Thanks brothers
It's been a little while since I've written in my journal and since my last relapse,but I'm still reading my fellow rebooters journals every day. Not looked at any porn but have MO once, feeling much better a lots less anxiety even when I had to make a few phone calls to sort out my home insurance renewal, I'm not good on the phone I prefer face to face, not sleeping the best at the moment so some days I'm a bit tired but by blocking youtube I have no reason to procrastinate in front of the computer which has made a big difference for me.
One interesting thing is since my last relapse is I'm not counting the days, what day I'm on hasn't come into my head once, in the past for the first few days I would count the hours and days at the start, maybe it's because porn is not a regular part of my life so it's more about improving myself and the number of days clean does not matter so much.
How are things going, dig deep?
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