Time To Get Serious Before It's To Late

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by dig deep, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Living

    Living Active Member

    Have you considered learning to deal with temptations? As you have read in my reply to your post in my thread I don't use porn blockers mainly for that reason. I think that to really deal with our problems we should come to the point where we are able to look a temptation right in the face and say "No, this is not I want" and move on. If you are not comfortable with giving up your blocker (which I assume you are not), perhaps their are other temptations you can train this with. Kelly McGonical mentions some interesting excersises for that in The Willpower Instinct.
     
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  2. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Hi Living I have tried living with temptations but when the big urge hits me I give in that's why I have the blockers,I'm a lot better than I was 2/3 years ago but I feel for me blockers help me a lot getting clean days.
    The way your dealing with it is probably the best way with mental strenght,discipline and will power.
    Your right about learning to deal with temptation like when Pema Chodron talks about if you have a itch don't scratch it and it will go and the more it happens it becomes easier to deal with and the itch loses its power,which I'm getting better at.
     
    Living likes this.
  3. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    I think living without porn blockers is an ideal to reach for but blockers are extremely helpful in the beginning for building up a long streak that you will be reluctant to break. An alcoholic needs to be able to be in social situations where other people are drinking and resist that temptation. But at the beginning of recovery, he might need to avoid putting himself in tempting situations such as parties or bars, or having bottles of alcohol around his house.

    I spent many hours trying to figure out how to block images from google and safari and there are just too many loopholes. I finally switched to Firefox and the free add-on Fox filter and blocked all other browsers and youtube and facebook. I also use K9 and parental controls. I would urge you to imagine this is like a roach infestation in your house. Don't just put out one roach trap. Put out a dozen of them and bug-bomb the whole house. So layer several filters; what one doesn't catch, others might. I just don't do anything on my computer now but YBR and work sites and I get my entertainment from books and doing things around the house. I just actually cannot search anything on my computer. It works wonders for building up a long streak. Is the entertainment of internet worth the misery of PMO? I don't think it is.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2018
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  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I still run blockers after years. It's not a weakness, it's you being strong, in my humble opinion.
    It's you taking charge over your life.
     
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  5. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    I never have used blockers but then I never used cyber sex. Seems to me it is best to use whatever is available to accomplish your goals.
     
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  6. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    I think the same way.
    @dig deep Ones I came to this conclusion and made the decision, it became clear and than it is only a matter of time and learning after each relapse what hasnt worked so you become smarter. In your last case I would take the lesson that it is better to take, if it is a lap top, tablet or cel phone you are using for PMO, the devise to your work place and change what ever changes you need to make on your blocker there. Or if you have to take the Password home, take it home on a day where you have a friend invited to stay till late, so you are not alone that day and night with the Password at home. Things like that.
    What helped me a lot was this new perspective of a relapse. It is a oportunity to growth.
    And trust the process, the longer you stay away from PMO the more motivated to expand your comfort Zone you will become. So dont feel guilty when you concentrate the first few weeks only on staying away from PMO. You can do it, man.
    I hope I can remember all what I said in case I relapse again.:)
    You are doing great in not beating yourself up after a relapse, this gives you a good mindset for the next attempt. Keep it going, dig deep.
     
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  7. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Day 13 of this reboot and things are going fairly good only a bit of fantasy popping in to my head now and then but nothing that has got me close to M or searching porn subs.
    I have started running again after about 2.5 years so taking it easy, I do a 2ooo meter run with a couple of walks breaks and will build up slowly, my main concern is injury especially shin splints and heal pain,back in the start of the year I got rid of my heal pain by increasing my protein in take and stretching,but since the heal pain went I stopped doing the stretching as much as I should, so by getting back in to the running I'm doing a lot more stretching so hopefully its a win win by getting fitter and preventing any injuries by having a stretching routine, because the muscles are all connected from the foot all the way up your legs to the lower back.
    Had quite a lot of anxiety over the weekend and I put this down to drinking too much diet Pepsi, I have notice this before but never looked in to it so I google search "diet Pepsi anxiety" and yep it does and its not just the caffeine but Aspartame as well,so I will stop drinking it,I'd be alright if I drank one glass of it but when I buy a big bottle of it in the super market I drink 3 or 4 glasses with each meal so I over dose on all the chemicals in it.
     
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  8. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Pepsi
    Soon you will be Pepsi cola ! Good job finding out what it does to you.
     
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  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yeah, drinking soda is a brutal habit. I don't like soda, myself, but I LOVE potato chips and chocolate...and pizza, and cinnamon buns, and and and and and and... :D
     
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  10. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Goood grief ! Try yummy as s. Probably a lot better than and and and and and though pizzas yummy but not as yummy as ...............!
     
  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    You like your cinnamon buns, too, Bobo. :D
     
  12. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Hahaha!
     
  13. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    All the sugar in the world could disappear and I'd be fine but it's the salty things that are my downfall. Chips, potatoes in any form, meat, cheese.
     
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  14. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Yes love cheese in any form raw or cooked.
     
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  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Hey dig deep, what's going on?
     
  16. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    As Saville says where are you dig deep ? Need to hear from you bro'.
     
  17. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Hello chaps,things are good, still clean ,went for a run this morning only 1.2 miles but since I started again it was first time I did it with out walking a bit of it.
    Yesterday I spent the afternoon walking around a neighbourhood of a town 20 miles from me to see if it would be a nice place to live,houses there are cheaper,moving will be years away but I like to explore my options.
    My biggest problem at the moment is some grass lawn I'm trying to grow from seed it's been 3 weeks since I sowed the seeds and only a bout 15% of them have sprouted, I think I will give it another 2 weeks before I resow that area.
    But overall I feeling good a bit of fantasy here and there but I just let them pass with out acting on them.
     
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  18. Squire

    Squire Well-Known Member

    Why years away? If it's something you want to do, can you set a date on the calendar sooner rather than later and start taking the steps to do it?

    Dude it is so great to hear that your biggest problem is trying to get the grass to grow. Much more manageable than PMO, right?
     
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  19. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Cool brother. Glad things are going so well. 15% of your own grass growing looks really green to your neighbor. lol :D
     
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  20. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Cool !
     

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